A Prawn In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush
FEATURING: BLUE RUIN
AUTHOR: JOE HAYNES
We open up to Blue Ruin's dressing room, a mixed pop from the crowd follows. He's sitting on the floor, with his back against the wall, holding an open cigar box in his hands. The King Prawn, that he had just won last week, was resting peacefully inside of it. For the past week, he's been in a haze. He's never won anything in his life, even if itis a shrimp, so it's been a ride of the ages for him. That said, he hasn't spoken to his family since he started in AWC.
He left their light-blue home for the motel-hopping life, and hasn't found the time to go back. Because of the space between, Ruin's been finding it harder to even want to go back. That alone is enough to make anyone, that knows Ruin, worried. His family was the only thing he could fall back on, they were his companions. But, this past week changed all of that. Everything changed for Ruin after last week. A prawn entered his life, and magic was revealed.
Blue Ruin: Edmund was captured along the northern Australian coast to Yeppoon in Queensland and brought to magical life in the embrace of my arms. The AWC gave me the opportunity to win something, which may seem grotesque and somewhat random, that distinguishes a victory. I was handed, by the administrative quarters of the 'Club', a massive shrimp-like crustacean. It's eyes, like tiny black dots, stared at me. It was a friend that I've longed for, a friend I haven't had in so many years. I named it Edmund simply because I figured it deserved a name.
Blue Ruin: It was a prize, after all. It's somewhat disappointing that it's dead, however, because I'm not a mindless toddler. It's not like I don't know this thing's as lifeless as a checker. It's somewhat comparable to Tom Hanks and his beach ball companion, Wilson. Tom, even after being stranded on an island for three fucking years, understood the only friend he had was, in fact, a beach ball. It's just that you get to a point, of bitter loneliness, where you just can't take it anymore. Your subconscious psyche literally propels you to find some kind of communicative release, even if the beach ball's response is fabricated, mental art.
Blue Ruin: In the mind of someone who's gone mad, however, it's nothing but the normal way of life. We see things, such as Wilson the beach ball and Edmund the King Prawn as the only people that truly listen. Sure, we know that they aren't really listening, but at least they're not admitting it to us. We can tell these creatures, and balls, absolutely anything we want without fear of Edmund spewing the news to his athropod buddies or Wilson spreading it like a disease to the Basketball or the Bocce.
Blue Ruin: I digress, I thank Ellis Nash for her services. Things would've been severely impaired had she not been there, so I certainly dedicate this sea creature to her. All of you out there, who seemingly doubt me, are in for a rude awakening. I know I may appear to be this quiet, sub-normal creature who barely comes out of his dressing room, but it was only because I was waiting for the right moment to shift things into the right gear. Edmund's entered my life, and I couldn't be more happier. I couldn't be more focused, either. Edmund and I, we have a lot of preparation in store. In fact, I think I may have to get to it now.
Ruin closes the cigar box.
Blue Ruin: Don't worry, Eddie. It's just the two of us from now on…
Introduction
FEATURING: TRUTH WATERS, GEORGE CASSIDY
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
The screen goes to black then fizzles to life suddenly, the letters “AWC” flashing across in a brilliant white light. A moment of silence dominates, then, backed by “Way Away” by Yellowcard, images of AWC’s superstars appear, one after the other. The guitar plays softly first, then goes straight into a strong, powerful riff.
I think I’m breaking out
I’m gonna leave you now
There’s nothing for me here
It’s all the same
A pulsating white light continually lights up the screen, as shots of many AWC wrestlers in action are shown: Aimz, Pierce Lavelle, departing Legends The Furious Fists Of God.
And even though I know
That everything might go
Go downhill from here
I’m not afraid
A quick collection of highlights from Untouchable flash across the screen as the song moves into its chorus. AgentDash hitting the Death From Above 2006 on Jack Murphy; a burst of flame from Snowball’s mouth as Andy Murray defied Kasidy Drake; Garbage Bag Johnny nailing the Tragically Hipbuster to level the score with Paddy O’Shea.
Way away, away from here I’ll be
Away, away, away, so you can see
How it feels to be alone and not believe
Feels to be alone and not believe
Anything
BOOM! The lights fade in and play across a packed RICOH Coliseum while fireworks cause a little boy in the front row to jump ten feet into the air. Cameras in the crowd flash as the larger equivalents broadcasting live across the world pan across, taking in the signs lovingly hand-crafted by keen teenagers and mad old ladies alike: ”MARRY ME DARCY!”; ”CHAINZ RAPED MY DAUGHTER”; ”AWC – SEE MORE ALMASY!”. We go down to ringside, where Truth Waters and George Cassidy are waiting.
Truth Waters: We’re on the air! Fresh! is about to rock your world once again, bah gawd! We got us a packed show tonight!
George Cassidy: The Gauntlet begins… oh, joy.
Truth Waters: Darcy Crisis! Captain Suleimon! Josh Marquez! Johnny Lexicon! Just some of the main men you’ll be seeing in action tonight! But first in case you been living under a rock let’s fill you in on the Lethal Lottery…
George Cassidy: I hope you all tuned in to the live webcast. Boy, that was an exciting night. I ordered pizza and everything.
Truth Waters: Mike Wade announced an impromptu Lethal Lottery earlier in the week – now if you’re not familiar with the concept, a Lethal Lottery basically pairs people up at random. There were to be six teams of two drawn to make three matches over the next three editions of Fresh! – with the winning team in each taking spots in Triangles 2006!
George Cassidy: Yeah Truth, but Wade must have miscalculated! There are already Ellis Nash, Garbage Bag Johnny and Pierce Lavelle confirmed for Triangles – and with three teams of two qualifying that makes nine…
Truth Waters: Right…
George Cassidy: But what about the Gauntlet winner? Wade promised a Triangles spot to the Gauntlet winner too!
Truth Waters: Cass, as I was about to say before you interrupted me… Commissioner Wade’s well aware of this and he’s got a new specification for the Gauntlet winner.
George Cassidy: He’s backing out? Unbelie---
Truth Waters: No no! The Gauntlet winner STILL gets a Triangles spot… now they get to choose which Triangle to go into… and who to replace.
George Cassidy: What?! That’s not fair! So Ellis Nash could be screwed out of her spot?!
Truth Waters: Anyone could be replaced Cassidy, that’s r---
George Cassidy: But she won a GUARANTEED spot! So that was a blatant lie was it?!
Truth Waters: Calm down Cass! If you ask me it really adds to the excitement… since the Triangles competitors are gonna have to decide who’s most likely to win the Gauntlet, and then keep them on their good side…
George Cassidy: So let’s get to the name drop: SEYMOUR ALMASY AND SCOTT TAYLOR.
Truth Waters: Cassidy! Jesus, I was gonna at least hype it a little… but OK. There were two big surprises in the Lethal Lottery… Seymour Almasy, PTC Global champion up until just this week when he dropped the belt to Kimbusa of GCW, who appears to have signed a temporary AWC contract… and Scott Taylor, former OSW World champion, who is reportedly with us for the long term.
George Cassidy: That’s big Truth! Scott Taylor was the MAN in OSW… and OSW was the big daddy a few years ago.
Truth Waters: OSW? AWC is five times what Jane Reagan’s outfit ever achieved…
He gets a look from George Cassidy.
Truth Waters: Alright maybe four times. But just ‘cause Taylor did a load of shit in the past… doesn’t mean he’s cruising to the top here. No chance.
George Cassidy: Just you wait and see.
Truth Waters: Will do, but he’s not scheduled for action tonight. Nor will be Paddy O’Shea – it looks like his match with Garbage Bag Johnny at Untouchable was his last with AWC. O’Shea’s had his contract cancelled by mutual consent and it looks like he’s going back to Ireland for the foreseeable future. Seymour Almasy on the other hand teams with Livewire champion Johnny Lexicon… against B.O.T., and the debuting former HSW star Jonny Kae!
George Cassidy: Big match. Big match.
Truth Waters: We also have two matches from the Relentless Frontier Gauntlet for you. Jack Murphy challenges for Afeaki’s Relentless title in our main event, and Darcy Crisis, fresh off the Untouchable main event, defends his Frontier belt against AgentDash – and that one’s up right about now.
George Cassidy: The funk soul brother.
It's MY Time!
FEATURING: SCOTT TAYLOR, JONNY KAE, TERESA TOMAS
AUTHORS: SONYA, JONNY A. AND ADAM M.
As the camera spins around the AWC arena showing the fans and their signs the opening drum blasts of Stone Sour’s 30/30 150’ pump through the PA system. The lights dim down as a single red spotlight begins to fly through the crowd and the ring before settling on the entrance ramp below the big screen. As the music grows louder a figure steps out from behind the curtain and marches powerfully down the ramp towards the ring.
Truth Waters: Wait… that certainly isn’t Darcy Crisis…
George Cassidy: Who the hell is this? Has security gotten so bad that any asshole can just walk right into our show and head for the ring?
The man walking down the ramp is tall and broad, dressed in a pair of baggy jeans, a black tee shirt tucked in, and a light blue, sparkling sequined shirt hanging open over it. His hair is jet black and pulled back in a simple ponytail which hangs several inches down his back. He holds a microphone in one hand and a folded steel chair in the other.
George Cassidy: What the hell? Not only do the spider monkeys running security let some strange guy in but they let him bring in weapons?!
Truth Waters: Cassidy, that’s… I think that’s…
Truth is cut off as the newcomer rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring. He opens up the chair and then sits in it, leaning back and crossing one leg over the other. As he sits in the chair staring down the ramp the cameras zoom in on his face, showing him to be none other than PTC great and former OSW World Heavyweight champion, Scott Taylor.
Truth Waters: OH MY GOD! IT IS HIM! CASSIDY! IT’S SCOTT TAYLOR! WE HEARD THAT HIS NAME WAS DRAWN FOR TRIANGLES BUT HE’S HERE ON FRESH!
George Cassidy: Can you stop yelling in my ear, please?! I know who that guy is! I remember him being that little Jeff Hardy wannabe from about five years ago.
Scott lifts the mike up to his mouth and begins to speak, his voice flowing smoothly as he speaks in a low and calculated voice; his eyes narrowed and staring down the ramp as if waiting for someone to come out.
Scott Taylor: Let’s get straight to the point. It IS true that my name was put into the Lethal Lottery and I will be competing in Triangles this year…
Taylor stops as the crowd pops for the confirmation.
Scott Taylor: …but that has nothing to do with why I’m out here tonight.
George Cassidy: Oh great, now we have to listen to this has-been ramble on even longer!
Scott Taylor: As some of you may be aware, there is a certain… Cover Story for the new AWC Magazine. I’m sure most of you have seen it since that bad boy no doubt hit the internet a long time before it hit the newsstands. For those of you NOT in the know… a certain… Redneck Princess is on the cover in a very compromising situation.
Truth Waters: He’s talking about Teresa Tomas’s barely clothed image on the new cover, Cassidy. Knowing the history between those two, it’s no surprise that he would be pissed off about it.
George Cassidy: You mean this moron has seen her without her clothes on? UGH! Excuse me a moment while I go throw up. You’re on your own!
George attempts to stands and remove his headset but is pulled back down by Truth Waters. George disgustedly puts his headset back on and looks into the ring where Scott still sits, speaking.
Scott Taylor: As you can imagine, I was not very happy when I saw this. While my participation in this year’s Triangles is a major factor in my reasoning for coming out of my retirement and back into active wrestling, it also allows me to get closer to the Crotch Buffers in charge that made this happen. SO!
With those words Scott leaps up from his chair, kicks it backwards with the heel of his boot, and stands in the center of the ring, one hand on his hip and the other holding the mike to his mouth. His emerald green eyes are cold and smooth as ice as he glares down the ramp.
Scott Taylor: This show will NOT go on until someone in charge gets the hell down to this ring and we settle this. This magazine atrocity will be paid for! So, until someone gets their jerky asses down here, there is no more AWC tonight!
George Cassidy: Can he even do that?! What the hell is this crap?! This Originator of Shitty Wrestling jack off strolls into AWC and thinks he can take over the whole show?!
Truth Waters: I do actually find myself agreeing with you, Cassidy, as much as I hate to say it. Taylor may be a respected wrestler with years of experience in the game, but this is AWC and he’s just marching in here like he owns the company or something.
Scott Taylor: The clock is ticking! The sooner someone comes out here to talk with me the sooner these fans can see the show they came t---
Scott’s words are cut short when the arena’s lights suddenly grow dim.
George Cassidy: Thank God! I thought this guy would never shut up!
Truth Waters: Have you forgotten who Scott Taylor is? He held the OSW World Heavyweight championship just a few years ago!
George Cassidy: Yeah, I remember. He was some big shot in that Overrated Shitty Wrestling.
Truth Waters: I wouldn’t say that, but Taylor does have quite the reputation.
George Cassidy: HAD Truth. He HAD a reputation. No one remembers him anymore.
Truth Waters: That’s not true Cassidy, how else would his name suddenly appear in the Triangles card?
While our informative commentary are arguing, four lights above the screen suddenly switch on, glaring into the audience, as the opening riff to "Seek and Destroy" by Metallica hits the PA system.
Truth Waters: I see you’re not the only Taylor-Hater Cass.
George Cassidy: Oh shut up before I smack you!
The big screen comes to life as the name of Jonny Kae flashes in vacillating red and white text/background schemes. Inside the ring, Scott is leaning his back against the ropes expectantly watching as the fellow new-comer make his own Fresh! debut.
After two lines of the opening riff, the entrance way explodes with pyro, and Jonny Kae appears from backstage. He’s dressed in a crisp grey suit jacket and trousers. He wears a black silk shirt, opened at the collar. Kae’s face is framed by a few strands of his blonde hair, the rest of which is tied in a ponytail down to his upper back. The former HSW man wears a pair of black Oakley sunglasses over his eyes, and holds a mic in his right hand.
Truth Waters: What the hell? I know Jonny Kae’s name was drawn for Triangles too, but this guy is certainly not AWC security.
George Cassidy: Who needs security Truth, when you got The Most Perfectly Attuned body in Professional Wrestling!
Truth Waters: Well, me for one.
Kae steps slowly into full view atop the ramp. Scott Taylor simply watches him coldly from the ring, wondering if his questions are going to be answered by this new superstar… most unlikely.
Jonny finally stops, looking down to the ring through the shades of his glasses, and lifts the mic to his mouth.
Jonny Kae: Woah Woah Woah. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves now, shall we?
The crowd boos momentarily, but quiet once again, as they aren’t sure what to expect from the AWC newcomers.
Jonny Kae: I mean, I’m quite partial to a bit of rebellion at work, someone just needs to head over to that… other… federation to understand that.
The crowd gets the point, and responds with “WHAT?”
Jonny Kae: You know, the other one.
They respond once again with ”WHAT?”
Jonny Kae: Now listen, let’s get something straight here. I’m not Mr. Wade, or even Seymour Almasy, so I’d advise you all to keep your mouths firmly where they belong… 2 feet deep in popcorn and saturated fat.
A few muffled ”WHAT?”s are stifled by the chorus of boos that emanate from the audience.
Jonny Kae: Now, as I was saying, I’m all for a little rebellion at work. I mean, the amount you guys get paid, I’m not surprised every once in a while you need to crack and let it all out of your systems. But there’s only one problem here…
The Crowd can’t resist… you know what’s coming… ”WHAT?”
Kae sighs and shakes his head.
Jonny Kae: This is MY time Scott. This is MY grand debut. But more importantly kid, you’re standing in MY ring.
Truth Waters: Oh, the sheer arrogance of the man! He’s not even had a match in AWC yet, and he can make audacious claims like that? Scott Taylor may not be our favourite person right now, but he’s a wrestling legend.
George Cassidy: Truth, never argue with a man in a suit.
Kae slowly starts to make his way down towards the ring. Taylor looks slightly infuriated in the squared circle, and lifts the mic to his mouth, but Jonny cuts him off.
Jonny Kae: Hold on Scott. We’re both reasonable men. I know we can work things out. I mean, I read about you. I have to say I’m rather impressed. You made it kid, you made it!
The fans muffle a cheer and a boo, not clear whether Kae is being sarcastic or not.
Truth Waters: That’s no kid in that ring! That’s Scott Taylor!
George Cassidy: Man… In… Suit!
Kae slowly walks up the ring steps, and steps into the ring. He looks around the audience, the flashes from the rafters and cameras reflecting off of his sunglasses.
Jonny Kae: Now, as some of you sitting in your uncomfortable chairs, eating your heart attacks-in-a-box, might not know, my name is Jonny Kae.
He stops a moment, waiting to hear the resounding recognition of his great name. However, all Mr. Kae is treated to is… yes… you guessed it… ”WHAT?”
Jonny Kae: I said… oh never mind. The point is, I’m here, on AWC Fresh! The aftermath of Untouchable! Yes! AWC has done it! They managed to splash the cash, and get the single most decorated sports entertainment personality into their federation!
Truth Waters: Damn, this guy is really full of himself Cass.
George Cassidy: He’s got a point! And he’s wearing a…
Truth Waters: Oh, shut up, for the love of God!
Meanwhile, Taylor has folded his arms, mic still in hand under his left arm. He stares a hole through Kae, who seems to completely ignore the former OSW great for the moment.
Jonny Kae: You see, I heard about AWC’s abysmal performances in the ratings. I can’t say I blame them. With such a dire roster, Garbage Bag Johnny, Darcy Crisis, Jack Murphy, to name but a few, what can one expect? It’s not the company’s fault that it’s been whooped week in week out by Global and FUSE.
Truth Waters: Global? I don’t think Global has ever even got near the radar of the ratings-formerly-known-as-the-Snows!
George Cassidy: What’s Global?
Jonny Kae: But, that’s all about to change. You see, when I got the call, or should I say my PR manager got the call…
Truth Waters: I’ve just about heard enough. This guy’s desecrating the foundations of the AWC! Who the hell does he think he is? I mean, he came from HSW right? Who’s he to talk about ratings?!
George Cassidy: But… I see your point.
Jonny Kae: …I thought, ‘heck, I could really save this place, and do some good in this world.’ And so, 2 weeks later, Jonny Kae is appearing on Fresh! However, even though it was a magnificent decision to hire The Most Perfectly Attuned Body in Professional Wrestling, one has to question the sanity of the scouting team here in AWC.
The fans let out a boo, knowing where this is heading. Taylor looks like he’s burning up, ready to explode, but remains still for the moment.
Jonny Kae: Take, for instance, my match later on tonight. I’m teaming with B.O.T, to take on Johnny Lexicon and some fed whore by the name of Seymour Almasy!
The fans let out a huge pop for the Global champion being on Fresh!
Jonny Kae: I question the sanity and foresight of this federation for allowing such a degradation of our great sport to walk through the doors! The guy gets sacked from GCW, carted out of PRIME, and so AWC proudly opens its cheque-book. It makes me a little sick.
Truth Waters: The audacity! What a hypocrite! AWC gave Kae a job when no one else would even sniff at his heels! And you know what I mean!
George Cassidy: But, he’s got a good point again Truth, I mean, Almasy…
The crowd boos at Kae’s arrogance and slandering, of perhaps the biggest name in the industry today.
Jonny Kae: And, if that weren’t enough, AWC goes to open its cheque-book again.
Kae turns to Scott Taylor, and looks over the audience, his left arm pointing at Taylor.
Jonny Kae: They actually splashed the cash to hire the ‘Former’ OSW Heavyweight champion, Scott Taylor! If this were a backyard wrestling organisation, I might understand, but this is AWC!
The crowd starts a ”Kae Sucks” chant, as Jonny works them over, cementing himself in his favourite role as ‘Mr. Totally Evil’.
Jonny Kae: And speaking of OSW, as much as it pains me to say, the Atlantic Wrestling Club is a long way from London.
Truth Waters: What the hell is he talking about? OSW may have visited London, England, once or twice, but…
He’s cut off rudely by Kae once again.
Jonny Kae: And, as much as I love the OSW slogan, ‘from exclusion to inclusion’, do any of you [gesturing to the audience] truly think that ‘Off the Streets and into Work’ is truly the best place to start a wrestling career?
George Cassidy: Ahah! Read up on your facts Truth! The OSW IS London based!
Jonny Kae: I mean, it’s a very noble cause, getting poor, lost individuals like Scott here, employment off the streets, but surely something a little less demanding? Perhaps a paper round to start with kid?
The crowd let out a torrent of boos, as Taylor unfolds his arms. He takes a step back, eyes narrowed, mic falling out of his hand.
Jonny Kae: So, now, if you wouldn’t mind Scotty boy, I think I’ll have my air-time now.
Kae, satisfied that he’s spoken enough on the issue, turns his back to the former OSW Heavyweight champion, and addresses the audience. He takes off his sunglasses, and lets out a huge plastic smile.
Jonny Kae: Now, if we can just get off the subject of fed-whores and REAL whores just for a moment…
Truth Waters: Oh, that was a cheap shot to Teresa Tomas there. His former HSW colleague.
George Cassidy: I’m starting to like this guy Truth.
Truth Waters: You would…
Jonny Kae: I’d just like to say, that I…
Kae doesn’t have a chance to finish his sentence, however, as Scott Taylor charges the bigger man from behind with a vicious forearm to the back of the head.
Truth Waters: Never turn your back on a legend Cassidy!
Jonny staggers back from the cheap shot and Scott jumps on him, swinging a series of stiff right hands, ending with a lifted knee to the stomach which sends the large Englishman back into the ropes. Grabbing his wrist, Scott launches him across the ring towards the ropes.
Truth Waters: Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears we have the planting of a potential feud between one of AWC’s newest stars Jonny Kae and one of the biggest names from the former OSW, Scott Taylor.
On the rebound, Kae swings a clothesline but Taylor uses his smaller size to his advantage by ducking under the large arm. Springing back from the ropes himself, Scott jumps up, nailing the big man with a dropkick which sends him down. Barely phased, Jonny pops back up to his feet only to be met with a Standing Side Kick to the face which knocks him down again.
George Cassidy: That can’t feel good, Truth! Ouch!
Truth Waters: What can be said? Scott Taylor was always known as having some of the meanest kicks in the pro wrestling world.
George Cassidy: I hope Jonny Kae puts the punk in his place. Scott Taylor’s not even on the roster.
Truth Waters: Are you sure about that?
A little stunned from the stiff sidekick, Jonny staggers in his place as Scott launches himself from the ropes again, going for a body block. The 6’7 Kae catches Taylor long ways, spins around, and delivers a powerful slam into the mat which causes the fans in the first two rows to ”Ooooh!” as they hear the impact. With Taylor stunned, Jonny takes a moment to gather himself after the assault from the former OSW Elite.
George Cassidy: YES! I knew that Taylor had lost his touch and that slam by Jonny Kae just put him in his place. Guess what, Taylor! This ain’t OSW! THIS IS AWC!
As Kae pulls Taylor up by his hair the curtains ruffle at the entrance ramp and Teresa Tomas sprints down to the ring, no music, no introduction, nothing. The Redneck Princess sprints down the ramp as Scott delivers a series of weak elbows to Kae’s sternum, trying to break free.
George Cassidy: Oh great! Just when you think things can’t get even worse. This is so predictable. We already have some new guy, some washed up has been and now this trailer trash ho brings her meth head self out here!
Truth Waters: Perhaps Cassidy. Teresa Tomas and Scott Taylor do have a lengthy history. It would be only natural for her to come to the aid of her old friend. Granted, it’s been nearly three years since they last worked together.
George Cassidy: LOOK!
Truth Waters: OH MY GOD!
Jonny lifts Scott up for a strong power bomb, however the smaller Taylor manages to flip himself over Jonny’s shoulders to escape. Kneeling behind Kae, Taylor shoots out a kick to the back of Kae’s knees that sends him to the mat. At ringside, Teresa lifts the ring apron as if looking for something.
George Cassidy: What is that skank doing?
Truth Waters: I don’t know, but I have a feeling it’s not going to be pretty.
From underneath the apron, Teresa pulls out a tire iron. She carefully and quietly steps into the ring sizing up her target. She holds the tire iron as a baseball bat and brings it over her shoulder.
George Cassidy: She’ll miss. Drunks have terrible aim. She’ll miss and knock her own self out. Just you watch.
Truth Waters: She doesn’t look drunk!
George Cassidy: That doesn’t matter! Once a drunk, always a drunk!
Just as Teresa swings the tire iron, Jonny averts his attention from Scott just in time to step out of the way. The iron object is swung inches past Jonny’s shoulder. Scott turns around, catches the wild spark in Teresa’s baby blues, and collapses.
Truth Waters: Teresa may have ended Scott Taylor’s return before he actually returns with that shoulder shot!
George Cassidy: Yes!! That’s the smartest thing that trailer trash tramp has done yet!
Inside the ring, Scott is sitting up. His hand is covering a gash in his shoulder. Crimson is flowing in between his fingers. His face is wincing in pain as he looks up at Teresa. Teresa ignores Scott and steps closer to Jonny. The tire iron still held tight in her hand. Jonny looks to the wounded Scott, then to Teresa unsure on what to expect from this crazy woman he barely knows.
Truth Waters: I don’t think Teresa meant to hit Taylor. She looked pissed.
George Cassidy: Ah hell, I hope she knocks Jonny out too and get this over with. We got a whole show ahead of us.
With Scott’s blood fresh on the tire tool and resting on her shoulder, Teresa casually picks up a fallen mike. She locks eyes with her former HSW co-worker.
Teresa Tomas: This ain’t HSW Kae. You’re battlin’ with the big boys now. Watch your back and who you mess with or you WILL be crippled.
Having said her peace, Teresa shoves the mike into Jonny’s chest and backs out of the ring carefully still leaving Scott in the ring nursing his injured and bleeding shoulder.
Truth Waters: Whether that shot to Taylor was intentional or not, Jeff, Teresa doesn’t seem to care either way if she took him out or not!
As Teresa walks back up the ramp, Kae turns to Taylor, and nudges him with his shoe. Scott looks up to catch Kae mouthing the words ‘you just got knocked out by a woman’. Taylor rolls under the bottom rope out to the floor and heads for the guard rails. Moving past the commentator’s table where Truth and George sit, Scott grips the rail with his good arm and hops over it, entering the crowd.
The fans that remember following OSW and recognize Scott cheer for him and pat him on the back as the moves past them, making his way through the crowd as he nurses his bleeding shoulder.
Truth Waters: Looks like that’s all, but this doesn’t end here!
Darcy Crisis (c) vs AgentDash
STIPULATION: RELENTLESS FRONTIER GAUNTLET
REFEREE: MICHAEL RYAN
AUTHOR: KRIS
The opening drum beat to mewithoutYou's "Tie Me Up! Untie Me!" comes to life over the arena PA as the lights fade slightly. The arena remains silent and as the opening guitar chords jerk into the song AgentDash steps out from behind the curtains and onto the stage.
Truth Waters: Dash is considered by many to be the next big star.
George Cassidy: Dash? What about Gabriel Afeaki? Josh Marquez? 'Livewire' Lexicon? King Prawn?
James Brunt: Making his way to the ring, the challenger from Berkley, California; weighing in at 190 pounds. The Agent. Dash!!
The reaction is undecided, but if one had to choose, the crowd does sound slightly unimpressed with his arrival. Dash strides to the ring smoothly with a slight smirk on his face, ignoring the fans jeers. He arrives at ringside and slides in. He uses the ropes to strech out his arms as he waits for his opponent.
Truth Waters: Maybe you're right, Lexicon could be the next big star.
George Cassidy: No you're right, Dash for the win, forget Lexicon.
Hide your face forever...
Dream and search forever...
A heavy guitar riff hits, marking the opening of "Open Your Eyes" by the Guano Apes.
Truth Waters: I don't think any man in the world has won so much for losing as Crisis.
George Cassidy: Darcy certainly got his ass kicked at Untouchable, and still the lucky devil walked out with the girl.
Darcy bursts through the curtain with his arm raised high and the Frontier Title wrapped loosely around his waist. He points at the fans who give him the biggest reactions, trying to get everybody fired up.
James Brunt: Making his way to the ring, the Frontier Champion from East Bay, California... weighing in at 227 pounds, DARCY CRISIS!
Darcy slides into the ring under the ropes, taking in the fan reaction for a few moments before climbing the turnbuckle, thumping his chest twice and throwing both arms into the air.
Truth Waters: You can't blame a man for playing his cards.
George Cassidy: Can and will. Tonight the house is Darcy's and The Agent is playing the odds.
Truth Waters: Both men are looking focused and rested after the prolonged break from Untouchable.
The bell rings the two circle. Closing in they lock up, Darcy breaks it first with a hip toss. The Agent scrambles for his feet and closes in again but Darcy delivers a second hip toss. Dash isn't about to be fooled a third time and instead circles the Frontier champion.
Truth Waters: Dash is opting on the side of caution.
George Cassidy: Darcy is looking a little too fired up for somebody who suffers from spousal abuse.
Truth Waters: How do you know if Crisis is being abused at home?
George Cassidy: C'mon, you don't think Aimz keeps him in line? Who crawled back to who?
Truth Waters: No see there's a difference. Open palm is abuse, back of the hand is discipline. Oh! Dash with a nasty chop.
George Cassidy: Yeah I picture it something like that, The Agent sends Darcy into the ropes.
But misses the clothesline. Darcy stops on a dime and fires a back elbow that staggers the challenger. He spins with a clothesline to the back of the hea- The Agent ducks and moves to the side, throwing himself into the ropes he comes back with a sharp round house ki- Darcy drops into a leg sweep and Dash goes down surprised!
Truth Waters: Dash almost stealing the momentum early but Crisis' experience shows.
Darcy grapples with The Agent's legs, twisting The Agent's right ankle as he scrambles for the ropes. Michael Ryan is on hand as Dash grabs hold of the bottom rope and is quick to break the hold. Darcy descends on AgentDash with a couple stomps; helping him to his feet he looks surprised by a sudden back elbow to the sternum. Dash leans into the ropes and bounces back hard, Darcy comes off his feet and hits the mat. Dash hops onto the middle rope and vaults off for a body splash.
Truth Waters: Great presence of mind by Dash.
George Cassidy: Indeed Dash is getting into the groove.
Darcy powers out of a quick pin attempt and matches Dash to his feet, they lock up but not for long as Darcy pulls to the side and twists Dash' right arm.
Truth Waters: Dash makes an early pin attempt.
George Cassidy: Too early, Darcy hasn't defending his title from curtain jerkers by falling for the early pin.
Darcy gives The Agent some leverage before snapping the arm straight violently. Dash rolls forward, pulls his legs up tight and spring boards for his feet before Darcy can compensate and hammers Crisis with a south paw to the crooked jaw.
George Cassidy: Darcy doing his best to keep the pace of the match his own but Dash is also doing his best to speed it up.
Truth Waters: Do the early pins ever work?
George Cassidy: Never, atmospheric trend setter.
Dash follows it up with a forearm to the chest and Darcy falls into the corner, Dash mounts the turnbuckles and rains down a couple rights before Crisis throws him off furiously and Dash lands on his back. Crisis hits a drop elbow to The Agent's left knee and scrambles for his feet.
Truth Waters: Crisis really targeting that left leg of Dash.
George Cassidy: And he's doing a good job unfortunately.
The Agent is getting to his feet when Darcy kicks the back of his left leg, Dash buckles but holding the ropes he manages to stay standing. Darcy hammers with a fore arm shot, Dash ducks the next and comes away from the ropes.
Truth Waters: Both men taking a chance to possibly re-evaluate their battle strategies.
George Cassidy: All the strategy in the world can't make this match any good.
They lock up quick but Darcy throws Dash into the ropes, he follows in close but eats boot when The Agent gets his foot up. Dash sits on the top turnbuckle as Darcy checks his mouth for blood, looking back he catches the body splash and falls to his back. A quick one count and Darcy throws him off.
Truth Waters: A quick count by Ryan, I was waiting for this to happen.
George Cassidy: I know, isn't it great.
AgentDash helps Darcy to his feet, Crisis pulls him over and wraps him up in a small package for another one count before Dash manages to kick free.
Truth Waters: Crisis answers right back with a pin attempt of his own. I counted two, Ryan says one.
They both get their feet, Darcy smiling as they circle.
George Cassidy: Darcy looks like he's enjoying himself.
AgentDash avoids the lock up and hits a boot to Darcy's gut, standing side headlock he charges for the ropes, stepping on each ropes before spinning and delivering a brutal bull dog. Darcy rolls and Dash helps him to his feet, a kick to the thigh, and then to the mid-section before he jumps and plants a drop kick in Darcy's chest and sends him tumbling for the corner.
Truth Waters: Dash turning the heat up!
George Cassidy: Finally somebody making an honest attempt to ugly up that face.
Dash closes in quick, pulling Darcy out of the corner and throwing him into the next, Darcy hits the turnbuckles chest first. AgentDash charges after him and leaps into the corner.
George Cassidy: Ouch.
Truth Waters: Dash is on the ball and burning hot as he turns the momentum in his favor.
George Cassidy: Notice how Darcy isn't smiling anymore.
Dash drags Darcy out of the corner and after a series of chops to the chest Crisis fires back with a hard right ha- Dash blocks the punch and sends Darcy running for the ropes. He comes back and into a head scissors take down!
Truth Waters: And Dash keeps his pace going!
The Agent goes for a cover but Darcy gets out at the two count.
Truth Waters: That was hardly a one count!
George Cassidy: Don't fight it Truth, just go with it.
Dash hauls Darcy to his feet and sends him into the ropes once again, he pops off a superkick but Darcy isn't there. Holding the ropes to keep himself back Crisis suddenly charges with a forearm to the sternum. Dash backs off but not in time to avoid a heavy clothesline from the Frontier champ.
Truth Waters: Crisis nearly took Dash's head off.
George Cassidy: All that smoke and no fire, Darcy once again gets control of his title defense back.
Darcy stomps away with glee on Dash's back and knees, The Agent rolls for the ropes but Darcy takes grip on his left leg and drags him back center ring before applying a single legged boston crab.
Truth Waters: Crisis continues to pressure that left leg relentlessly.
George Cassidy: Well, a fliers greatest asset is his legs.
Dash reaches for the ropes but their much too far away.
George Cassidy: You want em, you're gonna have to crawl.
Truth Waters: And crawl he will!
George Cassidy: That's awkward, Crisis knows his only hope of a win with this ref is to make Dash tap.
Michael Ryan checks on Dash, determinedly he struggles to get closer to freedom.
Truth Waters: Dash refuses to give in.
George Cassidy: It's a good mentality to have.
The Agent's fingers brush the ropes and Darcy releases instantly, lifting Dash almost clear off the mat and spiking his knee back down agonizingly. He drags The Agent back center ring and reapplies the single legged crab.
Truth Waters: Dash was so close!
George Cassidy: This is wrestling, fool, not horseshoes!
Dash looks hopelessly at the ropes, burying his face into his arms as he screams.
George Cassidy: Buckle up boy, there's a belt to win and the ref is in your favor!
Truth Waters: I fail to see the victory in a tainted win.
George Cassidy: You would, Truth, but you're also the guy who didn't sleep with the drunk chic.
Truth Waters: She was passed out!
George Cassidy: Didn't stop me!
The Agent soldiers up and drags himself on elbows for the ropes, inch by agonizing inch. Darcy fights it, strains against it, the crowd firmly behind him but the little Agent is determined and hell bent.
Truth Waters: Is there any quit in that boy?
George Cassidy: Probably, but it takes more than a pretty boy's pretty little leg lock to find it I'm sure.
To the chagrin of the crowd Dash grabs hold of the bottom rope firmly and forces the break, Michael Ryan is on Darcy but Crisis doesn't argue. He only stomps the target knee once before hauling Dash from his prone position- Dash holds the bottom rope! Darcy drops him and gives him another stomp, and another, before trying again.
The Agent holds the rope again! This time when Darcy lets go AgentDash drags himself quick off the apron to the outside.
Truth Waters: Dash is taking some time to collect his thought and walk off the effects of that leg lock.
George Cassidy: He better do it fast because he's got less than ten seconds to do it!
Darcy paces the ring as Ryan counts next to him. AgentDash passes right by the announce table, leaning into the break the count and jerking back when Crisis thunders on the position. Michael Ryan talks to Darcy, effectively distracting him as AgentDash slips back into the ring and hops to his feet.
Truth Waters: Dash IS quick, I will give him that much at least.
Dash blindsides Darcy with a forearm to the head and follows with a hard right hand that staggers the Frontier champion. Dash drags on Darcy's arm and throws him into the corner. Chasing a clipped limp Dash whales on Crisis' back with a right, and then a left. Wrapping the champion up Dash drops a reverse DDT!
Truth Waters: What a momentum turn!
George Cassidy: Dash is back in control with his cheater ref!
The Agent makes a cover- Darcy kicks out at the two count and both men take a moment to catch their breath.
George Cassidy: Neither man is moving with hast anymore, they have approached this title match with a savage intensity.
Truth Waters: I'm surprised Dash can walk as well he is after the pressure Crisis is putting on keeping him grounded.
George Cassidy: Grounded or not, I don't think Dash is letting Crisis walk out with his belt.
The Agent is the first on his feet, falling back into the ropes he comes off fast and plows into the rising Frontier Champion- Darcy reverses with a belly to belly suplex!
Truth Waters: It looks like their grappling kinda loving.
George Cassidy: Darcinator!
Truth Waters: Crisis locking in the Darcinator, this isn't looking good for Dash's frontier title hopes!
George Cassidy: Indeed it's not, he's got nowhere to go it's only a matter of time.
Dash has no choice. :(
He taps the mat but Michael Ryan is conveniently looking the other way.
Dash taps away desperately now.
Truth Waters: The ref has to end it!
George Cassidy: No, get free Dash! Stop tapping!
Michael Ryan looks shocked as he sees AgentDash tapping out and calls for the bell.
Truth Waters: That is blatant neglect! Dash might have been injured and it's on Ryan's head.
George Cassidy: This match was gay anyway.
James Brunt: The winner, and STILL the AWC Frontier Champion! DARCY. CRISIS!!
Truth Waters: Crisis takes a huge round of applause from this appreciative Toronto crowd.
George Cassidy: Canadians are stupid.
Truth Waters: That may be, but they know a star when they see it.
George Cassidy: Stars are stupid.
Truth Waters: Cass---
George Cassidy: You're stupid.
We Want Murray! I
FEATURING: MADDY ESTELLE, ANDY MURRAY
AUTHOR: ANDY
Back in the arena, we find ourselves situated directly in front of the announce table, where Truth Waters and George Cassidy sit, ready to address the camera.
Truth Waters: Ladies and gentlemen, lets, for a brief moment, talk about a “situation” that has arisen in the Atlantic Wrestling Club recently. On Fresh!burst just a couple of weeks ago, we learned, via a videotape, that one of the most popular figures in AWC’s early history, the self-proclaimed “Scottish King of Cool” Andy Murray, was to make his comeback at Untouchable, after 10 months out of action. While we expected Andy to return at Untouchable, what we didn’t expect was that his “reborn” AWC career would seemingly come to an end before it had even realty re-started-
George interrupts Truth as he speaks.
George Cassidy: That’s right Truth, at Untouchable, the “Washed-up King of Cool” Andy Murray, without an AWC contract, strolled down to the ring, and declared that he was going to be in Triangles. Thankfully, Dr. Kasidy Drake and Drakewerx showed up at just the right time, and threw that Scottish deadbeat right out of the building! Thanks to Drake, the apparent re-emergence of Andy Murray was remorsefully short.
Truth Waters: Actually Cassidy, before you interrupted, I was going to say that Andy Murray’s AWC career might not be over after all!
George Cassidy: What the hell are you talking about? Of course it’s over, Dr. Drake said so himself!
Truth Waters: Well, what ever the case may be, Andy Murray is here tonight in Toronto! Whatever his business may be, we have Maddy Estelle waiting backstage at this very moment, with Murrr…
The feed switches backstage, where a tarted-up Maddy Estelle stands, holding a microphone, next to Andy Murray. Tonight Andy’s jet black hair is combed back with wet-look gel, and despite the fact that the backstage area was quite well lit, he wears a pair of mirrored aviator shades. He also wears a black t-shirt with the phrase “We Want Murray!” printed boldly in sky blue, and clutches his prized Bolivian fire-breathing badger, Snowball, in one arm.
Maddy Estelle: Thanks Truth, I am indeed backstage here with former AWC Frontier champion, Andy Murray, and, err…
Estelle glances down with an awkward facial expression at Snowball.
Maddy Estelle: Candy Puff, his badger…
Andy recoils a little at Estelle’s ignorance towards his badger’s name; even Snowball herself gave out a sly growl at being called “Candy Puff.”
Maddy Estelle: Anyway, Andy, you’re here tonight without an AWC contract and on poor terms with management. What, exactly, are you up to tonight?
Andy Murray: Okay fool, first things first, it’s SNOWBALL, not Candy Puff! What the hell kind of pussy-ass name is THAT?! But anyway, I’m here tonight for one reason, and that reason is to show that plop merchant Dr. Kasidy Drake and his gang of evildoers that the fans want to see Andy Murray, god damnit!
A confused look draws across Estelle’s face; she is clearly not the only person in the arena who doesn’t know what a “plop merchant” is.
Andy Murray: That’s right ladies and gentlemen, the official “We Want Murray!” campaign is in full flow here tonight in Toronto! Just come over here and check out all the cool stuff that we’ve got!
The cameraman and Estelle follow Andy as he turns around and walks towards a stall-area that has been set up in this rather expansive area of the arena. Between the stall and the wall (which is lined with “We Want Murray!” posters), stand two familiar figures to long-time AWC fans – Andy’s younger brother Cayle, who has a red bandana tied around his shoulder-length black hair, and the Original Intergalactic King of Alien Thugonomics, Grobschnit, who looks as horrible and green as ever. Both men are wearing the same “WWM!” t-shirt as Andy, and seem to be handing out flyers to anyone who walks past.
The table itself is covered in clutter; t-shirts, rolled-up posters, flyers, keyrings, stickers, mugs, all adorning the same logo – an image of Andy giving a cheesy thumbs-up, with the words “We Want Murray!” printed underneath. Andy stops just in front of the stall, and picks up a couple of items.
Andy Murray: I mean, check this out Maddy, we’ve got stickers, posters, coffee cups… hell we’ve even got cigarette lighters! When every wrestler and crew member is covering their locker-rooms with these bad boys, Dr. Kasidy Drake will have no choice but to reinstate me! Isn’t that right, Grobby?
Grobschnit: Tru dat
.
Estelle, totally baffled by the whole situation, turns back towards the camera.
Maddy Estelle: Yea, well, err… thanks for that, Andy. So there you have it folks, Andy Murray; battling Dr. Kasidy Drake by producing mugs with his face on the side…
The feed stops.
John Christian Madson vs Blue Ruin
STIPULATION: SINGLES
REFEREE: AARON DAVIES
AUTHOR: MIKE BARCLAY
'Hell's Kitchen' by Dream Theater starts to play throughout the arena. The volume slowly rises until it can get everyone's attention. At the stage, lights are beaming dark blue colors.
Blue Ruin comes out quickly, but doesn't continue walking down the ramp. Instead, he stands at the center of the stage with his down. Eyes closed, he waits for Mike Portnoy, drummer of Dream Theater, to bring us into the adventurous instrumental vortex that is the song.
When he does, the regular colored house lights spark on. He jumps up and down two times, smacks his chest with his fist, and sprints down the ramp without ever acknowledging the crowd around him.
Rolling under the bottom rope, 'Hell's Kitchen' comes to a close and Ruin awaits the bell.
Truth Waters: Ruin on a streak here, let’s see if he can keep it going.
Madson, who’s already in the ring watches his theatrical entrance.
George Cassidy: Eh, he’s a mediocre fighter, I’m not too excited for him.
The bell rings, and Madson circles Ruin, who keeps his hands at his sides, eyeing Madson. JCM makes the first attack trying to lock with Ruin, who counters with a quick kick to the stomach, followed by a devastating DDT.
Truth Waters: Ouch! Madson didn’t look ready for that at all.
George Cassidy: Y’know Truth, you never seem to amaze me with your sense of observation.
Truth Waters: Can it Cassidy.
Ruin lifts Madson back to his feet, and whips him into the ropes, trying for a clothsline off the rebound, but Madson has enough sense to duck, only to be met by a follow up back kick to the face, sending him to the mat again. He walks over casually, and stomps on the back of Madson head, sending his face into the canvas.
Hard.
George Cassidy: The ref isn’t too happy with that, and warns Ruin, who just smirks at him.
Truth Waters: So far Ruin is in full control of this mat…
Before Waters can finish, Madson trips up Ruin, and goes for an ankle lock.
Truth Waters: Look at Madson! He’s got the submission!!
No tap.
No tap.
BLAM!
Ruin twists out of it and delivers a hard shot to the face with his free foot, sending Madson dazedly back towards the ropes again. Madson bounces back throwing his weight into a flying lariat, knocking Ruin to the ground.
George Cassidy: Does anyone have any popcorn?
Truth Waters: You’re joking right?
George Cassidy: I’m hungry?
Ruin is the first back to his feet, and ends up helping Madson to his by the hair, then delivering a sharp throat shot.
George Cassidy: OW!
Truth Waters: That’s going to make for some hard breathing!
Cassidy immediately throws his hand to his throat, and Ruin pushes him into the turnbuckle, and then starts to lift him upwards. Madson fights back a little bit, only to receive a few elbows to the head for his efforts. Ruin wraps up Madson, and throws his weight backwards…
…
_THUD_
…
…into a Gorilla Press off the second rope!!
Truth Waters: Wow! What power from Ruin!
Ruin Covers.
ONE!
TWO!
Madson kicks out at the last second!
George Cassidy: Stupid prick, he should stay down.
Truth Waters: And lose??
George Cassidy: Sure seems like he’s going to anyways.
Almost as if to prove Cassidy wrong, Madson kip-ups to his feet, much to the surprise of Blue Ruin, and starts to pound away with lefts and rights, building a head of steam, before locking Ruin in for a suplex.
Ruin counters.
Into a brainbuster.
Truth Waters: I can’t watch…
George Cassidy: What?! This is getting good! Ruin’s really letting him have it!!
Ruin smiles in the ring, dragging Madson to his feet, again, and then hurling him out of the ring to the floor.
The ref begins the count out.
ONE! TWO!
Ruin follows outside, kicking Madson in the ribs.
THREE! FOUR!
He sets him up near the announce table for a powerbomb…
FIVE! SIX!
George Cassidy: Pick up sticks??
Truth Waters: Shut up Cass.
Ruin goes for it, but it’s countered by Madson! Madson lifts him up and over his back sending him crashing down to the hard floor. Madson quickly follows up with some sharp boots to the face, before lifting him back up and throwing him into the ring.
SEVEN! Madson takes control, hitting a legdrop onto Ruin’s throat, and trying for a pin.
Truth Waters: Finally a pin from JCM!
ONE!
Kickout.
George Cassidy: Heh, or not.
Madson slaps the mat in frustration, and picks up Ruin. He locks in a sleeper hold.
Truth Waters: Another submission from JCM!
No Tap.
No Tap.
No Tap.
George Cassidy: He’s looking a bit tired.
The ref grabs Ruin’s hand and lifts it.
It drops once.
Twice.
Thre…no! He catches it!!
Truth Waters: Whew! That was to close for comfort!
George Cassidy: He gives you wood, doesn’t he?
Truth Waters: What?
Ruin throws a couple elbows into Madson’s ribs, loosening him, and then follows with a low blow. Madson staggers forwards, and Ruin catches him with a double armed DDT.
Truth Waters: Ruin, back firmly in control now.
Ruin gets back to his feet and kicks Madson in the ribs, again, and again, and again. He’s blatantly trying to injure JCM. The ref gets in the way, only to be shoved out of the way by Ruin.
George Cassidy: Jesus, he’s laying into the guy.
Truth Waters: Ruin’s out for blood. He just wants to prove he’s able to hang with whoever.
George Cassidy: You know, I’d love to see Ruin take on Afeaki, and pull that stunt. I don’t think Gabriel would be so forgiving.
Truth Waters: I’d have to agree with you.
Ruin, who hears nothing of the banter on the sidelines, continues his assault on Madson, hitting a solid jawbreaker, making him stagger back into the turnbuckle. Ruin sprints towards him, and goes for a body block, but Madson is able to duck out of the way at the last second, sending Ruin shoulder first into the turnbuckle.
Truth Waters: He missed!!
Ruin bounces off the ropes, and into Madson’s waiting arms, and JCM plants him with a full nelson slam.
Truth Waters: Good power move by Madson.
George Cassidy: Eh, bad form.
Madson lifts up Ruin, and taunts at him, before trying for a neckbreaker, which Ruin reverses.
WHAM!
Into a ¾ neckbreaker.
Ruin signals he’s had enough.
Truth Waters: This couldn’t be good for Madson.
George Cassidy: Nope. Surely not.
Madson gets back to his feet, and staggers around…
…into a boot from Ruin…
…who lifts him up…
CRACK!
SHOCK.TREND.KILL!
Truth Waters: It’s gotta be over!
He covers.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell rings.
James Brunt: Your winner…BLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEE RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIN!!
Ruin gets to his feet, raising his arms in victory.
Truth Waters: Who the fuck’s that??
George Cassidy: Um…I dunno?
Tyson DeBough, newcomer to AWC, rolls into the ring behind Ruin…stalking him.
Truth Waters: Isn’t that DeBough? The kid who lost to Ruin last week after taunting him??
Ruin turns towards DeBough.
BLIZAM!
SUPERKICK!!!
Truth Waters: SNAKE EYES! SNAKE EYES!
Ruin hits the mat hard, and DeBough pounces, delivering lefts and rights and lefts and rights until security pulls him off.
Truth Waters: I don’t think Tyson DeBough realizes what he’s getting himself into.
George Cassidy: Hell, if it leads to that little pipsqueak getting his ass whipped by Ruin, I’m all for it.
Ain't No Bettin' Man
FEATURING: GARBAGE BAG JOHNNY, PIERCE LAVELLE, OVERSIZED SCISSORS
AUTHORS: JOSH K. AND LARA C.
He strolled with a slight limp to his usually strong demeanour. His arm draped into a sling, hidden by the expensive black Armani suit. A pair of shades, masking the public to his battered and venerable appearance.
Lavelle was silent as he moved through the corridor. Glances of caution and wonder gazed upon him as he limped with a slow and determined strut. Every so often glancing toward the odd onlooker and casting back a scowling grin.
A noise emerged from in front of him; the grey painted mdf door blocking him from his task as his hand gripped the door knob.
Behind the door, Garbage Bag Johnny sits on a steel folding chair with a pair of drumsticks as he’s high off his balls trying to play the drum part to Pink Floyd’s “Great Gig in the Sky” which is blasting from a stereo in the corner of his room. He’s using the 30 pound AWC championship as a snare drum. Entranced in his drug addled drumming, he doesn’t notice the door opening as the dastardly Pierce Lavelle perches himself like a raven in the frame.
Pierce Lavelle: You are killing a classic!
The words of Lavelle murmur against the hard bass in the background, barely audible to GBJ who looks up in a sedated state; his pupils the size of a needle head.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Are you kidding me, man? Do you even know who this is, MAN? This isn’t that corporate rock bullshit Boston that all you disco fags think is the next big thing in rock, man. This is Pink Fucking Floyd, MAN! Steve Pink and Lars Floyd. They were geniuses, man. Like the Wright Brothers, MAN! And you don’t even know the half of it!
Garbage Bag Johnny feigns a coma, part of him is really that messed up, but the other part sees a twenty four foot tall Pierce Lavelle standing in his doorway, and when you owe a twenty four foot tall Pierce Lavelle money that you don’t have, you’ve got to have a plan.
Lavelle smirks, a silent grin lined across his face.
Pierce Lavelle: I know all about Pink Floyd, Black Sabbath, AC/DC, The Who and Led Zeppelin. I learnt everything I know today from them and you just plain sucked!
Lavelle spits with a calm tone as he watches GBJ reel backward in a nauseous and intoxicated state, his eyes fluttering.
After Garbage Bag Johnny finishes foaming at the mouth, he realizes that his attempts to scare away the fresher, newer, meaner Lavelle are in vain. Lavelle’s got GA and Kintu and all sorts of other imposing men behind him at the snap of a finger- each one more imposing than the last!
Garbage Bag Johnny: Alright. What is it that you want, Fierce Pierce? You just come over here to knock over my sandcastle?
Lavelle removes his glasses as he approaches GBJ. His eyes glazed in a crimson watery shade. Menacing in appearance as he leans down toward GBJ.
Pierce Lavelle: Have I upset you? I was only offering some constructive criticism. Besides, you're out of tune.
Lavelle says, smugly.
Pierce Lavelle: You're right. I didn't come here to chat shit with you. There's a green object that you owe me lots of... and I'm talking the cash kind.
Lavelle instinctively rubs his fingers together in a gesture that awakens the inoculated, Garbage Bag Johnny.
Pierce Lavelle: You not hearing me? Maybe I'll make it simple. It's also a Pink Floyd song. Where's my goddamn "money" Garbage?
Garbage Bag winces as he had hoped Pierce had forgotten about the bet due to some form of amnesia caused by perhaps Garbage Bag Johnny kicking his ass at Coast To Coast. Unfortunately, Lavelle has the memory of an elephant, and it looks like our old pal Garbage Bag is in quite the pickle.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Look, man. You’re friends with Brutus “The Harber” Beefcake, right? So you should know that even though I’m the Transmomatic Champion, I get paid less than Mikey O’Reilly did… MIKEY FUCKING O’REILLY for crying out loud. Now I don’t care how heartless the Empire is. Even Juggernaut Kintu would tell you that’s some bullshit, right? In short, I don’t have your money right now, but I’m working on it!
Garbage Bag Johnny pleads to Lavelle. His words fall on deaf ears, as though he were having a concentration with a brick wall as Lavelle is engrossed in the large stack of CD's balanced precariously on the small shelf that holds a small player now stuck on replay. With the click of a simple button, Lavelle plunges the room into an eerie silence as GBJ is left beating his own drum.
Pierce Lavelle: Brutus, eh. You been reading your Roman history, Garbage?
His eyes are focused on a Led Zeppelin album as he opens the small plastic casing.
Pierce Lavelle: You don't seem the stupid type, Garbage. So afford me the same courtesy when you address me because you are lying through your teeth and I don't have time to play fucking games, Garbage.
The sound of Dazed and Confused by Led Zeppelin ripples through the speakers as Lavelle turns to GBJ.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Roman history? What are you talking about? I was making some sort of wrestling allusion, but I forgot what it was. On another completely different note, I really don’t have the money, and as hard as it is to believe, I really do make less than Mikey O’Reilly used to. Now you can either talk Harber into giving me a raise or you can take it out of my meager paychecks for the next nine thousand three hundred years until we’re even. If that’s still not good enough, I’m going to have to chase you out of my locker room with this pair of comically oversized scissors!
Garbage Bag pulls out a pair of super sized scissors and he starts struttin’ and cuttin’ towards Pierce Lavelle. Garbage Bag goes crazy eyed as he slowly cuts the air in front of him with the scary shears.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Your move, Pierce!
Lavelle laughs towards the stoned Garbage Bag Johnny as he approaches with a wobble in his step snipping with a pair of scissors.
Pierce Lavelle: You do know they're blunt...
Garbage Bag Johnny: Yeah, I know. But it’d still hurt like mad if I hit you over the head with them.
Lavelle inches forward, the scissors pinched against his gut. A sick grin lining along his face.
Pierce Lavelle: Go on then, Garbage, because you'll be on the floor before you can raise that quivering hand of yours.
Garbage Bag Johnny remembers his possible saving grace, a deal he made with David Harber a few weeks ago.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Will I? Because I seem to remember an agreement I made with David Harber about how if he was going to leave my title alone as long as I agreed to defend it at Triangles. If you were to attack me here, it would seriously jeopardize my ability to defend the title, and I might have to call off my side of the bargain. So what do you say, Pierce? I think it would be in both of our best interests if you came back some other time. I don’t have the money now, and I really am looking forward to competing in the Triangles main event against you.
Lavelle steps forward, inching the scissors tighter into his abdomen.
Pierce Lavelle: Enough of these games, Garbage. I don't see Ellis Nash here, so where's my money. You made your bed, now sleep in it.
Garbage Bag Johnny goes in a blinding rage at Pierce’s persistence. With a swift move floor-ward, GBJ tilts the oversized scissors towards Pierce’s jewels. With the blunt “blades” about to pinch Lavelle’s regions, GBJ makes one final plea.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Look, man! I don’t want either of us to do something we’ll regret. I’ll get you the money, but I can’t get it to you today. If I don’t get it to you by Triangles, you’re free to do whatever you want to me, and you’ll still get your shot at the AWC title, but if you lay a hand on me before then, I’m taking the title off the line, and I can do that, because I’m Garbage Bag Johnny, I’m an American, and I own everything! So do we have a deal? You leave now, and I guarantee the money by Triangles or you can beat me until I cough out a million dollars worth of organs?
Lavelle inches backward, removing the pressure on his groin.
Pierce Lavelle: And if the money’s not there by Triangles, why don’t we make the match more interesting. Double or nothing on the outcome, Garbage.
Garbage Bag Johnny closes the scissors and puts them back into a scissor sheath on his belt that had not been previously mentioned until now.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Make it triple or nothing!
A sly grin rolls along Lavelle's chapped lips as he inches closer toward GBJ, feeling a little more comfortable knowing he won't circumcised any time soon.
Pierce Lavelle: You do realize you are going to owe me three million dollars, right?
The Led Zeppelin song ends in the background with a silent guitar solo to finish up as once more the two accolades’ of AWC are plunged into silence.
Pierce Lavelle: You'd want to watch who you threaten Garbage, my temper's not so calm these days...
Pierce Lavelle smirks again at GBJ who is doing mental math on his fingers, having trouble calculating the triple or nothing bet and even more trouble wondering what the triple or nothing bet was for. He’d get the money by Triangles, alright, and it’d all be settled. Finally, GBJ is done with his unsettling math, but Pierce has already left.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Oh yeah? Well… shit. Where’d he go?
GBJ mumbles to himself as he moves to change the CD back. Floyd was ten times better than Zeppelin. Anyone high on anything knows that.
Garbage Bag Johnny: I’ll put that cocky son of a bitch through another truck. I swear to God.
And in goes Animals.
We Want Murray! II
FEATURING: ANDY MURRAY, KEVIN
AUTHOR: ANDY
We turn for the second time to Andy Murray, Cayle Murray, Grobschnit and the “We Want Murray!” campaign stall. This time there is no Maddy Estelle, but instead we find Andy standing on top of the stall’s table, a megaphone in hand, ready to preach to the small group of backstage workers that have gathered around Murray’s peculiar collection of “WWM!” items.
Andy Murray: Fine people of Toronto! AWC employees! Everyone else in between! It is time to rise up, brothers and sisters, and let the powers that be know that the AWC don’t want horrible runts like Pierce Lavelle and Chainz running around! What they want is Murrr, god damnit! Show your support to the “We Want Murray!” campaign today! Pick up some of our wonderful merchandise!
On queue, Grobschnit steps out from behind the stall and begins handing out t-shirts to the few gathered employees.
Andy Murray: For too long Dr. Kasidy Drake and the Empire have ran the show around here! They lie, cheat and steal like they own this bloody place! Well, errr, they kind of DO own this place I suppose, but you catch my drift…
The group stare back at Murray, confused. Andy takes a quick glanced around the group from on top of the table; a skinny, scruffy looking worker, aged no more than 20, catches his eye.
Andy Murray: You there boy, what’s your name?!
Worker: Uhh, Kevin…
Andy Murray: Alright Kevin, let me ask you, are you sick and tired of Dr. Kasidy Drake and the way he runs this company?! Are you intimated by the way he pushes you around like his little bitch, hmmm? Does he force you to polish his shoes, Kevin? Does he!?! Does that horrible man treat you like dirt under his shoe?
Kevin shrugs his shoulders, not really surely what exactly the Scottish King of Cool was talking about, but deciding it was probably best to agree with him.
Kevin: Yea, I guess…
Andy Murray: Exactly! And this is exactly why the AWC needs me, the Scottish King of Cool, Andy Murray! We shall battle this menace head on and WIN, my brothers! Fight the power, c’mon!
A couple of people in the group applaud Andy, as we leave the campaign site again.
Josh Marquez vs Tyson DeBough vs Colby Korver
STIPULATION: THREE WAY FURY
REFEREE: SELENA SUMNER
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
George Cassidy: What’s up next? More filler?
Truth Waters: Right you a--- I mean, no! A highly interesting three way between---
George Cassidy: *yawn*
James Brunt: The following is a Three Way Fury match! Introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in at 212 pounds... JOSH MARQUEZ!
“Ace Of Spades” plays and Marquez comes out to a negative reaction from the Canadian fans. He just sneers in response, not taking any serious notice of the heckling.
Truth Waters: This is the man whose antics seem to have been what forced Paddy O’Shea out of AWC. Basically, he made Paddy his bitch.
George Cassidy: Truth!
Truth Waters: I know Cassidy, I know: I’m telling it like it is.
George Cassidy: Really though, Paddy was… distracted the last couple of months.
Truth Waters: You can say that again. Rumour has it he turned down an induction to the Roll of Legends tonight!
George Cassidy: Why? Too scared to show his ugly face?
Truth Waters: Who knows?
Papa Roach blasts into life.
George Cassidy: Oh here’s the man who lost his debut to Blue Ruin, of all people…
Truth Waters: Don’t underestimate Blue Ruin – he won the prawn!
George Cassidy: KING prawn!
Truth Waters: Damn it!
Tyson DeBough emerges with a wide grin on his face, garnering a quiet reaction, if anything at all.
James Brunt: And his opponent, also from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in at 235 pounds… TYSON “DICE” DEBOUGH!
George Cassidy: So what do we know about this DeBough?
Truth Waters: He’s the epitome of the Vegas lifestyle, so I hear.
George Cassidy: But…? Isn’t that Marquez’s gimmick?
And now we pan across to a horror-struck Josh Marquez, who stares, eyes wide open, at the man rapidly eating up the space between them.
Truth Waters: I smell a tag team.
George Cassidy: I smell gimmick infringement!
Truth Waters: Whichever it is, I smell a hell of a lot of tension between these two!
DeBough breaks into a run, catching Marquez’s ugly glare, and slides into the ring, bursting to his feet and coming at the original Vegasian with a leaping clothesline. Marquez is unprepared and goes down, but spins on impact, grabbing DeBough around the collarbone and forcing his face into the mat.
Truth Waters: It’s all kicking off in the ring already!
The house lights come up. Selena Sumner clearly isn’t going to get between the two adrenaline-filled Nevada natives, and Colby Korver is left to make an unimpressive entrance to Metallica’s under-par “Master Of Puppets”.
James Brunt: And finally, from Orlando, Florida, weighing in at 232 pounds… COLBY KORVER!
Marquez mounts DeBough from behind and attempts to apply a full nelson, but the newest wrestler in the match turns him over and slings an elbow back into the sternum of Josh Marquez. Tyson scrambles free and gets to his feet ready to meet Korver who comes at him with fists. DeBough blocks the first blow, but has underanticipated the amount of power in the strikes of a man lighter than him and the second punch rocks his head backwards. Tyson DeBough is open for a third, but before Korver can take the opportunity Marquez tackles his Las Vegas rival to the canvas.
George Cassidy: I don’t even get why David Harber would hire someone with essentially the same gimmick as Josh Marquez!
Truth Waters: Maybe he wanted to spur Marquez into some life. He hasn’t been that productive lately.
George Cassidy: A feud, just based off of having the same gimmick?
Truth Waters: Hey, at least they’re not competing to be “King of the Midcard”.
As Marquez lays into DeBough with harsh kicks, Colby Korver turns and claps with the crowd, trying to get a chant going. ”D-U-I! D-U-I!” isn’t really catching on all that well, though, and in his frustration Korver turns and swings a leg, catching Marquez in his ribs. Josh goes to his knees and Korver slams a kick into the side of his head.
Crowd: OOOOHHHH!
Truth Waters: Vicious shot!
George Cassidy: Colby Korver trying to show he means business.
Truth Waters: He could’ve knocked Marquez out, that ain’t cool.
Marquez lies flat out beneath the bottom rope, and Korver descends upon DeBough. He isn’t, however, anticipating the flick of a leg up into his face from Dice.
Truth Waters: “Dice” DeBough not letting Korver dominate. So Cassidy, how much are you looking forward to seeing Seymour Almasy in action in an AWC ring?
George Cassidy: Gee, I’m so excited that I don’t think I can wait – I might have to go and fire up Final Fantasy VII right now.
Truth Waters: Say what you want; the man’s a PTC legend.
George Cassidy: And really Truth, is PTC even worth a damn? They can three-point-four us each week until the end of time but it’s never gonna mean anything.
Truth Waters: Well Cass, those aren’t PTC ratings. They’re unofficial.
George Cassidy: The Snows, then, whatever!
Truth Waters: Actually, you can’t call them that anymore. You have to call them the ratings-formerly-known-as-the-Snows.
George Cassidy: Can I call them Ã?
Truth Waters: Works for me.
DeBough has in the meantime attempted to Irish-whip Korver, but the DUI member reversed the move. Coming off the ropes, Tyson “Dice” DeBough saw Korver bent for a back body drop and instead now leaps into a swinging hurricanrana, his momentum carrying him right round before the fact.
Truth Waters: Awesome hurricanrana by Tyson DeBough!
George Cassidy: It’s hardly a Full House off the top of a freakin’ boat, now, though, is it?
Truth Waters: You’re cynical tonight…
George Cassidy: Don’t you know me?!
Marquez is now struggling to his feet as DeBough pins Korver…
ONE!
…but the frat boy’s boot is on the bottom rope.
George Cassidy: Selena Sumner at last spotting the infringement…
Truth Waters: So I guess you’re not that excited about Jonny Kae’s debut in that same match either?
George Cassidy: Jonny who?
Truth Waters: (exasperated) Kae! He ran through the whole HSW roster without pausing for br---
George Cassidy: I know I know, I’m just kidding. Kae’s solid. It’ll be a good match.
Truth Waters: Probably a good deal less predictable than the main event, too: Gabriel Afeaki is unstoppable.
George Cassidy: Hey hey, it’s Jack freaking Murphy he’s up against! It’s no bread-and-butter defence!
Marquez hurls DeBough hard into the turnbuckle. The slam of Tyson’s spine into the ringpost causes a few crowd members to wince; DeBough does the same and stumbles forward out of the corner. Marquez wraps him up in a small package:
Truth Waters: Marquez!…
ONE!
TWO!
DeBough kicks out.
George Cassidy: Early. So. No bread-and-butter def…
Truth Waters: No, but look at Afeaki’s career record.
George Cassidy: I don’t give two shits about his career record. He couldn’t even beat Teresa Tomas…
Truth Waters: Sasha Volkyeva fell onto the stage nearly dead, for God’s sake!
Marquez gets to his feet, brushing his hair from his forehead. Suddenly his head whips round; having heard a piece of abuse from a fan he snaps something angrily back at him.
George Cassidy: And how is she doing?
Truth Waters: Still in the hospital, as far as we know… Improving. I haven’t been given an update tonight.
Colby Korver takes advantage of Marquez’s being distracted by rolling him up from behind; Marquez kicks his legs urgently…
ONE!
TW---
Marquez kicks out, but DeBough swoops in and hooks the leg!
ONE!
TWO!
Kickout.
George Cassidy: It’s failed-pinfall central here!
All three men sit up, and Selena Sumner steps away, allowing space. DeBough is the first to make his intentions clear, rolling into a fighting stance and not letting his attention waver. Josh Marquez looks for a double leg takedown from the deck but Tyson fends him off using his arms; this does, however, compromise his defence and Colby Korver swings an arm gleefully!
Truth Waters: CLOTHESLINE!
George Cassidy: Korver powers it home!
DeBough falls heavily, stunned, and Korver steps forward… but Marquez rises from the mat with a knee into the abdomen! The risk-taker follows into a swinging neckbreaker; Korver rolls out to the apron and curls around the ringpost at the top of the steps as a result of the impact.
George Cassidy: He’s clutching his neck on the apron. Looks like that neckbreaker had quite some effect.
Now Marquez can turn to DeBough; he does, and pins the fallen newbie…
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
Truth Waters: ROPES!
George Cassidy: Wha…
Truth Waters: He got his foot on the ropes! Selena Sumner stops counting!
Josh Marquez throws his arms up in anger and drags Tyson DeBough back to his feet, beating him into the turnbuckle. DeBough, still a little woozy from the hard Korver clothesline, cannot retaliate and only weakly blocks occasional shots.
Truth Waters: Home straight now for Marquez. He can wrap this up.
George Cassidy: Colby Korver’s just crawling to his feet but that neckbreaker still seems to be bothering him…
Marquez drags DeBough out of the turnbuckle… but Tyson reverses the momentum and slings Josh towards the opposite corner. DeBough now runs in and scores a leaping splash!
Truth Waters: Marquez sandwiched against the turnbuckle!
Marquez slumps to a seated position and Tyson DeBough gets back to his feet to see Colby Korver right in front of him. Korver swings an arm from the apron, but DeBough deftly blocks and reaches over the ropes to grapple with DUI-over-2. A moment later Korver is high in the air…
George Cassidy: Suplex over the ropes! DeBough has something here!
Marquez is still recovering in the turnbuckle as DeBough turns over to hook the leg high.
Truth Waters: Marquez just needs to throw himself forwards to break the fall…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Truth Waters: He couldn’t! DeBough takes the win!
George Cassidy: Unbelievable.
James Brunt: The winner… TYSON “DICE” DEBOUGH!
Truth Waters: A creditable victory for the 23-year-old in the battle of Vegas… plus Orlando. This guy is gonna go far.
George Cassidy: Not if Josh Marquez has anything to say about it…
As Tyson DeBough has his arm raised by Selena Sumner and the bell rings, Josh Marquez struggles to his feet. He totally ignores the fallen body of Colby Korver, but stares across the ring, eyes focused solely on those of Tyson DeBough.
This doesn’t end here.
We Want Murray! III
FEATURING: ANDY MURRAY, MIKE WADE, DR. KASIDY DRAKE, DRAKEWERX GUARDS
AUTHOR: ANDY
Once again we head backstage, where the “We Want Murray!” campaign is seemingly gathering steam. The group gathered around the stall seems to have grown, and the crew are almost out of “WWM!” t-shirts and other assorted pap. Cayle and Grobschnit are busy wandering through the crowd, handing flyers out to anyone who doesn’t already have one. Andy, meanwhile, stands behind the stall engaged in conversation with a member of the backstage crew, who also happens to be female, blonde, and rather buxom.
Andy Murray: … and you know what I especially hate? Sexism! That shit is wrong! I hear Dr. Drake is planning on HALVING the salaries of AWC’s female employees… he says they probably wont notice though, because apparently “woman have smaller brains!” What the hell is that all about!?! Damned cretin!
However, Andy’s attempts to impress this impressionable young lady soon come to an end, as through the crowds he spots a familiar face walking by.
Andy Murray: Sweet Moses! Is that who I think it is!?!
Andy quickly pulls his attention away from the girl and leaps out from behind the stall. He quickly darts around the crowd towards the approaching figure, who only just seems to have noticed the commotion.
Andy Murray: Mike Wade, my Celtic homeboy! How the hell are you my good man!
The AWC commissioner, looking as sharp as ever, cracks as smile at the sight of the enthusiastic Murray. He extends a hand, which Andy shakes firmly.
Mike Wade: Not bad, not bad at all Andy! What the feck are you doing here tonight though? When Drake finds out he’s gonna flip…
Andy grins.
Andy Murray: Mikey boy, welcome to the site of the OFFICIAL “We Want Murray!” campaign! We’re going to sit here all night and hopefully FORCE that douche Drake to give me my contract back!
Mike Wade: Sounds awesome, but don’t know think he’ll be just a little bit pissed off after your badger damn near burned his face off at Untouchable?
Andy pauses for a moment; this wasn’t something he’d taken into account.
Andy Murray: A fair point, my brethren, but who cares about that, eh? You want to join the campaign then, Mr. almighty Commissioner? You get a free t-shirt and everything!
Mike Wade: Sure, let’s do it! I can’t stand those tools either! What sizes have you got the t-shirts in?!
Andy Murray: Two sizes – Dude and Dudette… I think we’re running a little low on Dudette though! Come on over here and let me see what we’ve got!
Andy turns back and heads towards the stall, Wade in tow. However, as Andy reaches the stall and begins rummaging through the seriously depleted pile of t-shirts, a horrible familiar voice sounds out above the humdrum of the group.
Dr. Kasidy Drake: Okay Murray, show’s over… get the hell out of here, and take this farce of a campaign with you!
Dr. Kasidy Drake and the entire group of Drakewerx security guards now stand right in front of the stall, not looking best pleased. Andy ceases his search for a t-shirt and the look across his face sours at the sight of his newfound foe and his crew of guards. The group of backstage workers disperses a little, taken aback by the intimidating presence of the Drakewerx guards.
Andy Murray: Not until you give me a contract, bitch!
Dr. Drake chuckles.
Dr. Kasidy Drake: Mr. Murray, do you honestly expect that resorting to slander is going to change anything?
Andy Murray: Pffft, you tell me…
Dr. Kasidy Drake: That was rhetorical, you idiot. Just do me a favour; pack up this fanfare and leave, before things get nasty.
Andy Murray: Leave? We’re going nowhere! The AWC NEEDS Murrr, can’t you see that, fool?
Again Drake chuckles at Murray, almost patronisingly.
Dr. Kasidy Drake: Your will is admirable, Andy. You really want an AWC contract pretty bad, don’t you?
Andy nods, as Wade, Cayle and Grobschnit stand beside him, casting a watchful eye over Drake and his guards.
Dr. Kasidy Drake: Well, I tell you what… I’ll give you one… if, and only if, you can take on LeVar Kintu in one on one competition. You win, you get your precious AWC contract and I’ll never bother you again… you lose, however, and you’re GONE from AWC for good!
A cautious look grows across Andy’s face – he is really unsure what to think. The one thing he wants at the moment more than anything else is dangling in front of him, but he knows that Kintu – plus the almighty Prometheus – is a damn near unstoppable force. Surely taking on such a powerful opponent in your first match in almost a year is suicide? But maybe with adequate preparation Andy could pull it off… just maybe…
Dr. Kasidy Drake: So what do you say, Murray? Do you accept my little challenge…
Andy Murray: Let’s do it…
Dr. Kasidy Drake smile, he knew exactly what he was doing…
Dr. Kasidy Drake: Good! Better lace up those boots though, you’re on in 30 minutes! Have fun…
Andy’s heart almost stops – he had to face Juggernaut Kintu in half an hour!?! With ZERO preparation he would have to face the serum-enhanced titan in his first match in almost a year. Andy watched almost in disbelief as Drake and his guards turned their back and walked away…
Andy Murray: 30 fucking minutes!?! How the hell do I prepare for a match against that FREAK in 30 minutes!?!
Mike Wade, however, had quickly thought of something.
Mike Wade: That’s pretty rough, man, but listen up… you don’t have a contract at the moment, right? And plus, Kintu contravenes AWC regulations… That means that this CAN’T be an officially sanctioned AWC match, if you know what I mean…
Catching on to what Wade was saying, the deeply aggrieved look on Murray’s face began to fade away.
Andy Murray: … no rules…
Mike Wade: I’ve got a plan…
With that, the scene fades out as Wade whispers something into Andy’s ear.
Dark
FEATURING: GABRIEL AFEAKI
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
Dark.
The Fijian Animal thrives on it.
His face, close, war-torn, beaten yet triumphant.
Close.
“Sasha…”
His whispers echo and repeat.
Smile. Wider.
“Sasha…”
Captain Suleimon vs Teresa Tomas
STIPULATION: SINGLES
REFEREE: JOSEPH REID
AUTHOR: JOSH K.
Truth Waters: I don’t know what that was all about! But it’s not looking like we’re getting any answers tonight regarding what really happened to Sasha Volkyeva last week!
George Cassidy: Afeaki’s got the answers, I know it. But Gabs ain’t telling.
Truth Waters: Up next, we’ve got Captain Suleimon against Teresa Tomas, two of AWC’s most solid superstars.
George Cassidy: Ah, stop trying to puff things up. This is a filler match.
Truth Waters: I disagree. Whatever happened to a wrestling match for the sake of good wrestling?
Suddenly, Truth and George’s preliminary banter is interrupted by some Middle Eastern music playing over the PA.
George Cassidy: Did Suleimon get new entrance music?
Truth Waters: I don’t know, Cassidy. Could be.
James Brunt: Introducing first; the guest commentator in promotion with his upcoming movie, out November 3rd, Borat Sagdiyev!
Borat makes his way down the entrance, wearing his drab suit and his impressive mustache- comparable to Lara’s dad’s mustache, giving hokey thumbs up and uncoordinated high fives to fans the whole way down the ramp before sitting down at the announce table.
Borat: Jak sie masz! In Kazakhstan, big hobby include wrestle!
Truth Waters: Welcome, uh, Borat? I’m sorry this was all unexpected.
James Brunt: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Istanbul, Turkey- the Sultan of Smackdown, Captain Suleimon!
As the “Turkish March” begins to play, Captain Suleimon militantly appears on the ramp. He walks down to the ring without much tolerance towards the fans. Borat, meanwhile, is standing up, clapping for the Turkish captain.
Truth Waters: I see that Borat here is a Suleimon fan.
George Cassidy: Maybe he’s not as dumb as he looks.
Borat sits back down and begins to comment.
Borat: In Kazakhstan, we very much like the Ottoman Empire. Many Jews crushed!
Truth Waters: Well, that’s your opinion, we certainly don’t support it here.
George Cassidy: You convert or something, Truth?
James Brunt: And his opponent, from Nashville, Tennessee with her entrance shamelessly copy pasted from the AWC forums: Teresa Tomas!
Lights grow dim. A red glow emits from the entrance. Within the glow is a silhouette of a long-haired female. Without warning a cannon is heard blasting through the speakers. White pyros explode from either side of the entrance ramp creating a thick blanket of white smoke. “Big Guns” by AC/DC floods the building. Teresa Tomas steps through the smoke. A cigarette hangs from the corner of her mouth. She is decked out in faded Levi’s and a black ¼-sleeve t-shirt with the words written in metallic chrome “What’s YOUR Excuse?” Teresa stops midway down the ramp to release a final puff of cigarette smoke before removing the cancer stick from her lips. She glances to her right, then to her left giving the fans an empty stare before dropping the burning butt to at her feet, then stomps it with her boot before making her journey to the ring. Borat stands up again, this time in disbelief.
Borat: WHAT?
Truth Waters: What’s wrong?
Borat: She is a woman! She cannot wrestle man.
Truth Waters: Maybe not in Kazakhstan, but in AWC we have several talented female wrestlers on our roster.
George Cassidy: Yeah… talented. Here, Borat… take this.
George Cassidy hands Borat a copy of the latest issue of AWC Magazine- the one with Teresa naked on the cover. Borat holds the magazine in both hands, his eyes growing wide.
Borat: nnnnnnnNICE!
The bell rings to start the match, and the good Captain lifts his hand, egging Teresa on for a test of strength. Teresa kind of laughs it off, knowing that her strength isn’t strength at all. Using her redneck brawling skills, she instead plants a foot right into Suleimon’s gut. Suleimon doubles over, and Teresa puts Sully in a front face lock, preparing for the DDT. Sully resists, however, and uses his strength to push Teresa back off of the ropes and whip her across the opposite side. Tomas comes back with a flying wheel kick, but Suleimon ducks, and Teresa tumbles over his back landing on her feet. The two turn to face each other, Teresa ducking under an ambitious clothesline from Captain Suleimon, slides around into a waist lock. Suleimon tries to counter by throwing an elbow back, but Teresa ducks it and uses Suleimon’s momentum to rise back up and catch him in position for a back suplex. Unfortunately, Suleimon back flips out of it, landing behind Tomas. Tomas turns around out of urgency, and finds herself caught in a quick belly to belly suplex that sends her over the top rope and to the outside.
Truth Waters: The fans are on their feet after that impressively acrobatic display to start the match. That belly to belly over the top took a lot out of Teresa, but Suleimon is giving her precious time to recover by taunting her in the ring.
Meanwhile, Borat is still looking at the magazine spread.
Borat: Wah-wah-wee-wah! How many goats must I pay to make a romance inside of her?
Truth Waters: Teresa Tomas is not a prostitute, Borat.
George Cassidy: I bet she’d give you a hummer for ten bucks.
Teresa gets to her feet and rolls into the ring where Captain Suleimon meets her with a couple of stomps before setting her up for an Irish whip. Suleimon tries to meet her with a front dropkick, but Teresa Tomas holds onto the ropes, and the Pride of the Ottoman Empire lands on his back, squarely in the center of the ring. Teresa capitalizes by dropping a quick elbow on Suleimon’s chest before getting back up, grabbing him by the legs and catapulting him into the turnbuckle. Suleimon stands with his chest against the turnbuckle while Teresa Tomas sets back up and hits him with a running dropkick. Captain Suleimon bounces back, and Teresa gets quickly to her feet and downs him with a running inverted neck drop. Teresa flips for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
Truth Waters: Suleimon kicks out right after two.
Borat: In my country, they say Suleimon is a man with very big khram!
Teresa Tomas pulls Suleimon up and tries a knife edged chop that sends Suleimon stepping back. Suleimon tries to return with a punch, but Teresa ducks under it and kicks Sully in the stomach. Suleimon hunches over, and Teresa takes him down with a standing tornado DDT. Teresa then points to the top rope and climbs up, she leaps off with a moonsault, but readjusts when Suleimon rolls underneath it. She lands on her feet just as Suleimon gets up, but she’s not able to avoid a flying cross chop on Suleimon’s behalf.
Truth Waters: Both competitors seem to have a lot of fight in them still.
Jeff Marx: Oh goody.
Captain Suleimon is quick behind Teresa. He grabs her arms from behind and locks in the Turkish Tiger Tamer! Teresa appears to be in pain as Suleimon digs the move in deeper in the middle of the ring. The crowd tries to support Tomas with a “U.S.A” chant!
Borat: I love U, S, and A!
As the chant dies down, Suleimon releases the hold, the position he takes in the submission maneuver being almost equally taxing, and begins taunting the crowd. Teresa gets up, a bit worse for the wear. She tries to sneak behind Suleimon with a school girl roll up pin, but Suleimon somersaults out of it. He gets to his feet before Teresa Tomas and is prepared for her oncoming charge with a reverse tiger suplex. Captain Suleimon covers Teresa quickly.
ONE!
TWO!
THR- Teresa kicks out!
Borat: He is performing a rape? Nice!
Truth Waters: No, that’s just a pin attempt.
Captain Suleimon picks Teresa up and forces her into the corner with some quick chops of his own. Once he has Tomas cornered, he whips her to the opposite turnbuckle. Suleimon charges after her, but Teresa Tomas grabs onto the ropes and lifts herself up, catching Suleimon’s head in between her legs and sending him over the top rope with a flying head scissors variation.
Truth Waters: Nice maneuver by Teresa Tomas to take Captain Suleimon to the outside.
George Cassidy: Whatever. I’m still hoping someone else gets thrown through the big screen to make up for me having to sit through another Teresa Tomas match.
Borat: In Kazakhstan, it is a cheat to toss opponent out of ring. Also, men, no clothes, only wrestle other men, no clothes.
George Cassidy: I guess that’s why Kazakhstan’s wrestling federations never show up on the Snows.
Teresa Tomas climbs up to the top rope, perched and waiting for Suleimon to get up on the outside. When he does, she leaps off and floors him again with a top rope spinning wheel kick!
Truth Waters: What a maneuver by Teresa Tomas, and both competitors appear to be down.
Borat: Borat will try to make a romance with American woman.
Truth Waters: Wait! Borat! Somebody stop him.
George Cassidy: I don’t get paid to stop people.
Borat is indeed up, and he is menacingly inching his way over to Teresa Tomas. He rubs his hands in anticipation before trying to touch Teresa’s left breast, but as soon as he makes contact, Teresa grabs his arm and twists it as she starts to stand. Borat drops to his knees cringing in pain, and Teresa locks Borat in the Southern Comfort!
Truth Waters: Teresa has the Southern Comfort on Borat!
George Cassidy: That’s no way to treat a special guest!
The crowd goes wild over the lock on Borat, but Teresa realizes she has let her eyes off of Captain Suleimon. She releases the hold and slides back into the ring as Joseph Reid checks on Borat, calling for the EMTs as Borat over exaggerates his condition.
Truth Waters: I can’t believe that guy.
George Cassidy: Have you no cultural sensitivity? The man is obviously hurt. Teresa might lose her job over this!
Inside the ring, Teresa turns around just in time to see that Captain Suleimon has recovered, and he is now wielding a chair. It’s a bit too late as the Turkish Captain nearly beheads her with it while referee Joseph Reid is preoccupied with Borat.
Truth Waters: This is an outrage! Suleimon’s going to steal this one!
George Cassidy: I wouldn’t call it stealing. I’d call it outwitting.
Suleimon looks to put the icing on the cake as he climbs to the top rope, chair in hand, and leaps off. Sully nails the Arabian Facebuster on Teresa Tomas! BUT TOMAS IS UP! SHE NO SELLS THE MOVE!
Truth Waters: What the hell?
George Cassidy: I think Suleimon might have broken his leg while attempting that maneuver! There’s blood everywhere and bone fractures! He might need an amputation!
Just kidding, Tom. Instead, Suleimon nails the Arabian Facebuster and slides the chair out of the ring just as the EMTs carry Borat off on a stretcher. Reid returns his attention to the match where he slides in to count the pinfall attempt by Suleimon.
ONE!
Truth Waters: What a heathen!
TWO!
George Cassidy: Suleimon will do whatever it takes. That’s called drive, Truth!
THREE!
And Borat has two thumbs up as he’s being carried away.
James Brunt: And the winner of this contest, Captain Suleimon!
Editor’s note: Pierre Hyde is currently attending the college at which Sacha Baron-Cohen studied History. Lucky him.
One GIL-lion Dollars!
FEATURING: GARBAGE BAG JOHNNY, SEYMOUR ALMASY, THOUGHTS ON KING PRAWN
AUTHORS: JOSH K. AND SEAN W.
Without a match on Fresh, AWC Transatlantic champion Garbage Bag Johnny has no real reason to be hanging around the arena. Nonetheless, with one of the lowest salaries on the roster and a raise that’s been pending ever since Coast To Coast (despite big match PPV bonuses), Garbage Bag Johnny is around to take advantage of the free food at the catering table. While smoking a funny smelling cigarette, GBJ looks over the options on the table.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Hmm… I wonder where the King Prawn’s locker room is. I’ve got this hankering for some prawn.
Also backstage at the arena was PTC’s most prominent Global champion, Seymour Almasy. Almasy did have a match, but for now, he was content to go to the catering table to nosh. Oh, and further his Quest.
His silly, ridiculous quest that would probably get him labeled a hair fetishist.
Seymour Almasy: If only there was a poor, rather hairy man who knew Ellis Nash that could help me on my quest, I would gladly reward him handsomely with lots of money… alas, there does not seem to be any such man nearby…
Garbage Bag Johnny’s ears perk up, his mouth opens in surprise, and the roach of the joi… funny smelling cigarette drops from his mouth. GBJ turns around and finds himself face to face with a champion of even greater magnitude than himself. Staring into the eyes of Seymour Almasy, GBJ makes a statement.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Those eyes! He’s been exposed to Mako!
No wait! That’s not it!
Garbage Bag Johnny: I couldn’t help but overhear your predicament. It just so happens, I may be able to help you. You see, I have a predicament of my own, and it sounds like we could stand to mutually benefit from some sort of verbally contractual agreement.
The Final Fantasy looked back at the man. Were he to meet a similar man on the street, Seymour would believe he was in the presence of a denizen of the Sector 5 Slums. But here in AWC, oh no. It meant he was in the presence of the Transatlantic champion, Garbage Bag Johnny.
Seymour Almasy: Perhaps so, good sir. You see, I need a lock of Ellis Nash’s hair. How this lock is obtained is not of consequence to me, but it is imperative that I obtain it so that I may get back to a man in the land of Massachusetts who will help me continue my quest. Therefore, Mr. Garbage Bag, I make you an offer. Join my party. If you can obtain the lock, I will reward you with many gold coins… and even if you fail, I’ll take you out to TGI Fridays tonight. You look rather hungry.
GBJ begins salivating at the prospect of T.G.I. Fridays. They just came out with a bunch of crazy new appetizers, too. However, Bag knows that obtaining a lock of Miss Nash’s hair is no easy task. She’s a wan and fickle mistress… like the sea, but that’s another story for another time… a grizzled story… for a more grizzled… time.
Garbage Bag Johnny: T.G.I. Fridays? I’d give a kidney for T.G.I. Fridays! You have yourself a deal, Mr. Almasy, but I have to warn you. Getting a clip of Ellis’ hair isn’t going to be easy. It’s a dangerous task; one that could cost me my life. As such, I’ll have to be compensated accordingly.
Almasy nods. What he has heard of Ellis would suggest that the task is a grave one indeed... and he's really rather glad that someone else is willing to do it for him.
Seymour Almasy: Compensation should not be a problem, Transatlantic Champion. Tell me, what are you paid by the Kingdom of AWC?
Garbage Bag Johnny: Not enough, my friend- especially with Pierce Lavelle trying to collect on a small sum I lost to him on a bet involving Ellis Nash and her sweet, sweet locks of hair, streaked with my Honey Dijon ejaculate.
Lavelle... Lavelle... after a bit, the name strikes a bell. And that rhymed, too.
Seymour Almasy: Mr. Lavelle? Of the Empire? The Empire is after you, good Mr. Garbage Bag? Alas, our situations seem equally grave... but fear not! I have a plan! I will reward you handsomely for a successful quest for Miss Nash's hair. And in return, I shall raise my sword against the Empire. I shall stand side by side against you, so that the next time this Lavelle attempts to collect his roguish tax, I SHALL SMITE HIM WITH MY SWORD! Or, since AWC seems to frown upon smitings, I shall simply render him incapable of collecting his fee.
Garbage Bag Johnny rubs his hands together at the prospect of escaping his million dollar debt to the Empire’s golden boy.
Garbage Bag Johnny: You talk kind of funny, but I like what you say. You’ve got yourself a deal.
Garbage Bag Johnny spits in his hand and extends it towards Seymour Almasy for a handshake. Seymour glances at the lubricated hand for a few moments. The prospect of shaking it is unpleasant, and so, Seymour comes up with a solution on the spot, executing a rather elaborate bow lifted from Final Fantasy X.
Seymour Almasy: Farewell, good Garbage Bag. And remember. Fridays tonight. I'm in the mood for some chocobo wings.
With that, he is gone, turned down another of the numerous backstage corridors, leaving the AWC Transatlantic champion alone at the catering table.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Man, I gotta lay off of that peyote.
Garbage Bag Johnny has joined Seymour’s party.
Andy Murray vs Juggernaut Kintu
STIPULATION: UNSANCTIONED
REFEREE:
AUTHOR: ANDY
We come back to the arena to find the serum-enhanced Juggernaut Kintu already in the ring, “Bullets” by Creed ringing out. He paces around the ring, an emotionless look across his face, awaiting the arrival of Andy Murray.
Truth Waters: Ladies and Gentlemen, what a shocking turn of events here tonight! Andy Murray shows up tonight looking for a contract and ends up in in-ring competition with this serum-enhanced monstrosity, LeVar Kintu!
George Cassidy: Tonight, Truth, baaaad things are going to happen to Andy Murray. The man hasn’t competed in almost a year, how the hell is he going to put up a fight against Kintu tonight? I hope somebody’s called an ambulance already…
James Brunt: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is an unofficial match, with Andy Murray’s AWC contract in the balance! Introducing first, in the ring, he is a member of the Empire… JUGGERNAUT KINTU!
The crowd jeer at the mere mention of Kintu’s name, but their reaction changes soon enough as “Shout at the Devil ‘97” by Motley Crue begins to play. Andy Murray immediately steps out from the backstage area without any fancy entrance, his eyes fixed firmly on Kintu.
Truth Waters: This could very well be the last time we EVER see the Scottish King of Cool on an AWC broadcast! Given Murray’s injury history, the chances of him walking out of here tonight on his own accord seem very slim indeed. But one thing you’ve got to remember… despite the fact that these wrestlers are competing in an AWC ring with an AWC referee, this CANNOT be an officially sanctioned match, as Andy Murray is officially a free agent!
George Cassidy: …And as Kintu is doped up to his ears…
Truth Waters: Will Murrr be able to use this situation to his own advantage?
George Cassidy: There is no chance in hell that Murray is going to defeat Kintu here, Truth! That’s ridiculous! In fact, I doubt very, very highly that the SKC will even be able to knock Kintu to the floor for a split second, let alone for a three count. Unfortunately for our former Frontier champion, it ends here tonight.
Andy cautiously strolls down to the ring, he knows very well the risks he is about to take. He has changed into some crude wrestling attire; a plain black t-shirt with some black sweatpants, and some white tape around his hands. How he had used the 30 minutes preparation “granted” to him by Dr. Kasidy Drake only he himself knew, but one thing was for sure, the odds were stacked against him tonight.
James Brunt: Aaaaaand his opponent, from Aberdeen, Scotland, a former AWC Frontier champion, weighing in at 270lbs… he is the Scottish King of Cool… ANDY MURRAY!
As his name is announced, Andy stops at the foot of the ramp and stares his mammoth opponent dead in the eye. Suddenly, he charges into the eye of the storm, slipping under the bottom rope, and diving shoulder-first into the gut of Kintu, taking the serum-enhanced beast down with a heavy tackle. The crowd explodes into life as a driven Andy Murray throws punch after punch against Kintu’s skull.
Truth Waters: And here we go! Andy Murray is wasting little time! He’s gonna go all guns blazing here against Juggernaut Kintu!
George Cassidy: He’s going to have to if he wants to survive tonight!
Andy continues to throw his fists into Kintu’s face, but unfortunately for Andy, if there was one thing this monster could do it was absorb pain. Between blows Kintu finds the strength to grab Murrr by the collar and throw him halfway across the ring. A little dazed, Andy lands on his backside, and watches on in surprise as Kintu rises to his feet, hardly shaken at all by Andy’s assault.
George Cassidy: Just take a look at LeVar Kintu! He was hardly fazed AT ALL by those shots to the skull there!
As Murrr gets to his feet, Kintu charges towards him, looking for a clothesline. Fortunately, Murray manages to duck just in time, narrowly avoiding certain decapitation. Using his slight speed advantage, Andy manages to land a low dropkick to the back of Kintu’s knees before the giant has time to turn around. As a natural reaction, Kintu falls to one knee, before Andy seizes his neck, locking in a tight sleeper hold on the giant.
George Cassidy: Uh-uh! That ain’t gonna work! How the hell does Andy expect he’s going to choke Kintu out!?!
Sure enough, Kintu soon gets back up on both feet, Andy Murray clinging onto him for dear life. Kintu struggles to dislodge Murray, tossing and turning his body in effort to release Andy’s grip.
Truth Waters: It seems to be working George, look! Kintu can’t get him off!
Jinx. As the words leave Truth’s mouth, Kintu manages to grab the back of Andy’s head, and toss him over the top of his own head. By complete fluke, Andy manages to land on his feet, and after steadying his balance he turns to face his gargantuan opponent with wide eyes. An “S-K-C!” chant begins to break out in the arena, the crowd attempting to spur on Andy’s thankless task.
Truth Waters: Oh God… this is where Murray does NOT want to meet Kintu; head on!
Channelling the crowd’s energy, Andy throws a punch at Kintu’s jaw. Given by the fact that this doesn’t even cause LeVar to shift his gaze, this felt like a fly on a windshield to him. Andy launches forward with another punch, AGAIN Kintu seemingly doesn’t feel it. Murray steps back in disbelief; he knew that Kintu had been severely doped up on serum, but he didn’t think the effects would have been quite so drastic. Swallowing hard, Andy charged forward, aiming to clothesline – instead, he was met with a big boot; Kintu’s foot connecting with Andy’s jaw with a sickening thud.
Truth Waters: Jesus H.! Did you hear that connection!?! I think Murray may have just lost a couple of teeth!
George Cassidy: That’s it! That’s the beginning of the end! Juggernaut Kintu just DESTROYED Andy Murray’s jaw!
Grabbing his jaw in pain, Andy sits up, but before he can get to his feet he is hauled up by Kintu, who shows terrifying strength to lift the Scottish King of Cool a couple of feet off the ground, before throwing him full-force into the turnbuckles!
Truth Waters: OH MY GOD! Did you see that!?! I think the whole ring just shuddered!
Andy manages a groggy step forward, holding his back in sheer agony, before the pain gets the better of him and he falls back into the turnbuckles.
Truth Waters: This is bad, bad news for Murray! He is at Kintu’s mercy now… and with that SICKENING blow, could Murray have picked up an injury? We all know, of course, that for YEARS Andy has been plagued with back problems…
George Cassidy: Andy Murray should have listened to Dr. Kasidy Drake when he told him to GET OUT! Tonight, he’s leaving here in a wheelchair, the fool…
Truth Waters: George, as much as I would like to disagree with you… I just can’t… for all Murray’s past conquests, for all his athleticism, Juggernaut Kintu is just going to be one step too far…
The fans jeering intensely, Kintu begins to throw his giant fists against Murray’s broken torso, each blow hitting Andy as if it were sledgehammer shot. Murrr slumps down to the bottom turnbuckle as Kintu continues his onslaught by stomping away at the Scotsman.
George Cassidy: After a bright enough start Murray has began to fade away, the referee might as well just call the bell right now! This thing is OVER!
Truth Waters: We all know that the Scottish King of Cool had a few tricks up his sleeve back in the day, but that was 10 months ago! This man hasn’t competed in almost a year and this kind of inhuman brutality is the last thing he should have to endure!
George Cassidy: He knew what he was getting into, Truth! Make no mistake, Murray is going to pay for sticking his nose where it isn’t wanted…
Kintu turns his back on Andy; even serum-enhanced super beasts need to catch their breath once in a while. However, when he turns around he is taken aback by a swift superkick to the chest, the crowd explodes!
Truth Waters: My god! Where the hell did that come from!?!
Unfortunately, while the kick causes Kintu to stagger backwards somewhat, it saps much of Andy’s energy from his body.
George Cassidy: But that kick has taken a LOT of out Murray! Look at him, he can barely stand…
Truth Waters: The man hasn’t gone anywhere near a wrestling ring in a long, long time! What do you expect!?!
It takes a slip second for Kintu to recover, and grabs Andy’s neck with an iron grip. Everyone in the arena knows what’s coming, as Kintu effortlessly lifts Andy off of the ground and SLAMS him down with a massive chokeslam. Jeers rain down on the serum-enhanced beast, who lets out a victorious roar.
Truth Waters: You could feel the impact of that chokeslam from where we sit, folks! Murray’s out cold, Kintu’s got this one won!
George Cassidy: I don’t think LeVar’s done yet, Truth! I don’t think Dr. Kasidy Drake will be satisfied if Kintu merely pins Andy Murray tonight… I think Drake wants to see Andy Murray CRIPPLED!
Indeed, the beast isn’t finished just yet. Again he hauls the Scottish King of Cool up.
Truth Waters: For Pete’s sake, just END this already! Andy Murray is DONE! This is disgusting…
LeVar leans down, before throwing Andy across his shoulders, ready to finish the former Frontier champion once and for all. He lets another deafening roar, the crowd incensed.
Truth Waters: DON’T DO IT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
George Cassidy: Goodnight Andy, it’s been nice knowing you…
Suddenly, there is a dramatic shift in the crowds reaction, as a familiar figure clutching a steel chair charges down the ramp.
Truth Waters: WAIT A MINUTE! THAT’S MIKE WADE! THE COMMISH HAS SEEN ENOUGH!
Wasting little time Wade charges into the ring, and rams the side of the steel cheer into the back of Kintu’s knee. Again, Kintu falls to one knee, but manages to keep hold of Andy. Wade soon darts art, planting a stiff chair shot right across Kintu’s face! Even serum can’t protect a man from such a blow, and LeVar is forced to drop Murray harmlessly to the ground.
Truth Waters: MIKE WADE JUST CLEANED JUGGERNAUT KINTU’S CLOCK!
George Cassidy: What the hell!?! WADE! He’s the commissioner! He can’t interfere in matches!
Truth Waters: But this isn’t an officially sanctioned AWC match, remember!?! This is perfectly legal!
Knowing time is of the essence; Wade quickly knees Kintu in the gut, before nailing a remarkable Tiger Driver 91 on the beast, landing Kintu’s head straight on the steel chair! The mob goes wild!
Truth Waters: TFW! Juggernaut Kintu’s head just got DRIVEN into the steel chair by Mike Wade… what a turnaround!
George Cassidy: This isn’t fair! GET DRAKEWERX DOWN HERE!
Truth Waters: No Cassidy, what isn’t fair is throwing a ring-rusty Andy Murray into a contest against this… FREAK! Especially given Murray’s injury record.
After saluting the crowd, Mike sets about helping the stirring Andy Murray to his feet, Juggernaut Kintu already beginning to recover from a blow that would knock a normal individual out cold.
Truth Waters: Murray’s up!
Wade helps Murray, his unlikely ally for the evening, across towards Kintu, before planting his boot in the back of Juggernaut’s skull to keep him from recovering. The Celts together pull up Kintu, before hanging him in a vertical suplex position, the dented steel chair sitting on the mat below. A split second later, and Murray and Wade drop Kintu head-first onto the chair, almost knocking the beast’s lights out!
Truth Waters: DOUBLE HIGHLAND HANGOVER ON KINTU!
The referee, almost as shocked as the crowd at what was going down, dropped to the mat and began the count…
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!!
George Cassidy: WHAT!?!
Truth Waters: My god… Murray’s done it! With the assist of Mike Wade, Andy Murray has taken on the giant, and WON!
George Cassidy: How the HELL did that happen!?! BAH!
On his knees, the look on Andy’s face tells a story; he simply cannot believe it. Elated, he almost throws himself into Wade’s arms, embracing the AWC commissioner as “Shout at the Devil” begins to pump out. Murray’s joy does not last long, however, as soon enough the music is cut off by a familiar, booming voice.
Dr. Kasidy Drake: Wade, what the hell!?!
Dr. Kasidy Drake appears at the top of the ramp, irate, Drakewerx in tow.
Dr. Kasidy Drake: You’re supposed to be our commissioner! You can’t just interfere in matches like that! Referee, ring the bell… re-start this thing!
Just as the referee attempts to signal for the timekeeper to re-start the match, Wade gets in his way. Murray calls for a mic, which is soon accurately thrown in his direction from the technical area.
Andy Murray: Actually, motherfucker, I think you better get your facts straight first! Sure, Mike Wade isn’t permitted to interfere in AWC matches… but you’re missing a key element, you goofball… I was competing without an AWC contract, and against this serumed-up bastard, so how can this be classed as an official AWC match, hmmmm?
Truth Waters: He’s right, Cassidy!
George Cassidy: I know! As much as I hate to admit it!
Andy Murray: Yeah, didn’t think of that one, did you fucker!?! You know what this means? Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, the Scottish King of Cool is officially BACK IN BUSINESS!
In jubilance, Andy throws a fist in the air, as Dr. Kasidy Drake storms off, he knows he’s been defied once again by Murrr. “Shout at the Devil ‘97” hits again, as Wade hoists Murray’s arm in the air in victory.
Truth Waters: Incredibly scenes! Mike Wade and Andy Murray have combined to stick one right to the Empire! And the former Frontier champ is officially back in action!
George Cassidy: This is wrong! This shouldn’t be happening, Kintu should have crushed Andy Murray like a bug! Curse you Mike Wade!
Let the fun begin.
There's Something About You...
FEATURING: PIERCE LAVELLE, TRACY STANTON
AUTHORS: LARA C. AND MIKE S.
He stood wearily in front of the mirror, his body staring back in a bruised, swollen and battered state, reflected in the mirrors harsh silvery gaze. The mirror almost cringed at the sight before it, the all seeing eye casting a watchful and decrying look.
His eyes lingered on his ribs as he took a small tape of gauze and began the sore, tedious task of bandaging himself up. His appearance belittled the truth of his true pain. Sloan had managed to beat him to a bloody pulp (no pun intended) but it didn’t matter, the pain inside was worse… Cringing at the pain as he struggled to the wrap the bandage, he felt weak. He took a couple of breaths but stopped.
His shirt lay on his back unbuttoned and hanging loose, his arms wreathing in pain, unable to bandage or fasten it up. Behind him, a figure moved, their shadow caught in a blurred reflection. He twisted his body carefully as he squinted with his swollen black eye toward the figure stood behind him.
Pierce Lavelle: I already made it clear… no goddamn news conference.
Lavelle coughed vehemently toward the shadow as he walked with a limp toward the darkened room. The figure that stood before him wasn’t a worker, but a familiar face. Her eyes lingered on his beaten figure, the gauze and stitches. She stepped back a couple of inches, his voice quiet and calm.
Pierce Lavelle: Tracy? That you?
Lavelle saw Tracy Stanton stood in front of him dressed in baggy sweat pants and a t-shirt, her head taped up and a small gash on her lip. Instantly he moved forward, feeling immense shame at having being the reason for her pain.
Pierce Lavelle: You’re hurt… I’m so sorry.
His hand lingered a moment beside her face before falling back along his side. Her eyes stared at him a moment, her hand reaching out and in a split second it ripped across his cheek, the dried cut now opening as his face slung sideways with the stinging clout.
Tracy Stanton: You should be sorry.
Lavelle’s head remained to the side, blood dripping down his cheek onto his chest as he hung his head in shame. A clot rising in his throat with a tense stinging pain where Tracy had hit him, but his expression changed, his eyes cold.
Pierce Lavelle: I’m sorry for hurting you, but Sloan got what he had coming.
Lavelle said stepping backward.
Tracy Stanton: He deserved that beating, did he?
Pierce Lavelle: He ruined everything…
Lavelle’s words of pain rose within the room, Tracy’s eyes lingering in shock.
Tracy Stanton: How dare you blame Michael for your actions…
Pierce Lavelle: You don’t know what you’re talking about, Tracy. Michael knows the real truth and yet he chooses to play sick and twisted mind games.
Tracy Stanton: He might suffer from brain damage!
Pierce Lavelle: His brain was already damaged…
Lavelle spat but soon turned around and walked back to the small sink, picking up the gauze tape as he shook his shoulders and felt the shirt roll off and onto the floor. Tracy looked toward him, his words still dancing around the air. I knew there was more to this, Tracy thought.
Tracy Stanton: I hope you’re happy now, but when Michael comes back, he’ll go insane.
Lavelle turned around, chucking the gauze roll at the wall as he held his broken ribs in a fit of pain.
Pierce Lavelle: I’m not fucking happy, Tracy. Do I look delirious with hysteria? DO I?
Tracy ducked the gauze roll and saw the pain in his eyes, her feelings for Michael and Sarah all conflicted against the feelings she felt for Pierce. His breathing was queasy and heavy as he struggled to open the small Tylenol bottle, his hands fumbling with the child-proof cap.
Tracy Stanton: Why are you doing this? You don’t have to be with the Empire… it’s not you.
The bottle still wouldn’t open, his patience wearing thin, the pain overwhelming as he gripped the bottle and smashed the lid against the counter-top, the bottle cap popping off, pills rolling onto the floor.
Pierce Lavelle: Damn it!!!
She moved closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, the gentle touch of her soft skin against his. Their eyes met for a long lingering silence as she took two pills out for him with a cheerful smile, comforting, a feint smile rose along his lips.
Pierce Lavelle: I’m sorry Tracy… for everything.
His pained look and sorrow gazed along her cut lip and bruised forehead as his hand lingered a moment on her cheek, his touch warm. He stopped and his hand dropped immediately.
Tracy Stanton: Just tell me what’s going on, Pierce.
Lavelle hesitated a moment. Tracy bent over and retrieved the white gauze taped, her hands pushing his arms up as she gently finished taping his ribs.
Pierce Lavelle: It’s complicated, Tracy.
Her hands grazed along his chest as she taped up the bandage, a cheeky smile lingering along her lips.
Tracy Stanton: You can trust me, Pierce.
Lexicon / Almasy vs B.O.T. / Kae
STIPULATION: LETHAL LOTTERY DUO TAG
REFEREE: RICHIE TRAVIS
AUTHORS: TRENT AND LIA
Truth Waters: Ladies and gentlemen, SEYMOUR ALMASY debuts next!
George Cassidy: Can we really call it a debut? Technically? I mean, it's not like his promiscuous ass is fully AWC.
Truth Waters: Well, technically, the definition of debut is---
George Cassidy: Yeah, Truth? If I wanted the definition, I'd pull a Websters out of my ass. Along with a SHUT UP.
The kickoff of Portishead's "Cowboys" drowns Truth's petulant sigh. The crowd reacts adversely to the seemingly offensive song; the jeers merely accumulate as B.O.T. struts onto the stage.
George Cassidy: Who does this fag thing he is? Has he done anything of substance?
Truth Waters: Well, he did have a chance to snag that king prawn he and Blue Ruin were both too entirely obsessed with..
George Cassidy: But he couldn't even do that? Fag.
No matter George's hefty assumption, B.O.T. proceeds to pivot, boasting his rather large figure. AWC's faithful erupts into another chorus of scoffs and taunts.
James Brunt: The next match is a Lethal Lottery Duo Tag Match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first... from Moorestown, New Jersey, weighing in at 296 pounds... B.O.T.!
With Brunt's announcement, B.O.T. rolls into the ring, plants a foot against the mat, and heaves himself up. He arrogantly spins in a circle, soaking in the blatant distaste, before disrobing and heading towards the corner. "Cowboys" neatly fades; Metallica's "Seek and Destroy" takes its place. The lights dim slowly, eliciting a change of mood in the audience. Four lights above the titantron suddenly switch on; on it, 'Jonny Kae' flashes in vacillating red and white text/background schemes.
George Cassidy: Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. YOU'RE NOBODY. YOU DON'T GET AN ENTRANCE.
Oh yeah, George? Well, guess what? After the two lines of Seek and Destory's opening riff, the entrance way explodes with pyro.
George Cassidy: WTF?
That's right, George. And guess what? Jonny Kae appears from backstage! JONNY KAE! Guess what he's wearing, George! I'll tell you what he's wearing! He's wearing his trademark red trunks! With white elbow pads! And white knee pads! And black boots!
George Cassidy: Oh, spectacular. Another LXG.
Truth Waters: You know what they say about long entrances...
James Brunt doesn’t. He happily proceeds with his job, happily clearing his throat and happily tipping his top hat before announcing:
James Brunt: Introducing his partner... from London, England... weighing in at 268 pounds... ladies and gentlemen, JONNY KAE!
Kae slowly wafts down the ramp way, arms raised in the air like a conquering emperor in Roman times. The crowd boos incessantly. Clearly, they can tell this guy is up to no good from the start.
Truth Waters: Something about this man is rather unnerving...
George Cassidy: I think it’s the fact that he’s 268 pounds and is wearing tights.
God spits George; Kae turns a full three hundred and sixty degrees, allowing the already unadoring AWC audience and George Cassidy the chance to appreciate his fine physique while a plastic smile emanates from his arrogant appearance.
George Cassidy: Thousands of noses could be reconstructed if only Jonny Kae was nice enough to lend his ass fat.
Kae finally turns and continues down the rampway, red and white pyro exploding, flanking him upon his decent to the floor. Kae makes his way towards the ring, paying little attention to the fans, instead focusing on the ring. He climbs the steps to the ring, and over the ropes in a smooth side-step fashion. B.O.T. greets him with an extended hand; Kae raises an eyebrow and rebuffs the attempt, instead turning from his partner to size up the stage.
George Cassidy: Well, he’s an asshole. Maybe I can try to like him.
“Seek and Destroy” fades; it’s Marilyn Manson’s time to shine. The titantron flickers and fades into static.
Robotic voice.
“Patient zero has become infected.”
“Self destruct sequence has been initiated.”
Johnny Lexicon’s baritone rolls, “Oh that human element.”
George Cassidy: God. At least Kae’s entrance was NORMAL.
There's a flash, a crash, the music picks up and Lexicon walks from the back in a pair of Trooper Shades framed by his shoulder length blond hair, the Livewire belt slung over his shoulder. Lexicon raises a rock on and points to his Pierce Lavelle t-shirt, like it’s cool to wear a Pierce Lavelle shirt. Yeah, bucko. Go ahead and join that group of fanatical twelve-year old girls just towards your left.
James Brunt: And introducing their opponents... first, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada... weighing in at 267 pounds... he is the LIVEWIRE CHAMPION... JOHNNY LEXICON!
George Cassidy: Pierce Lavelle is a fag. Go get a Jeremy J. shirt and you’ll be the badass you want to be.
Lexicon’s shades and shirt come off; after, he rolls into the ring, jumps up to his feet, ties his pesky bangs away from his face, and heads towards the opposite corner.
“Otherworld” by Nobuo Uematsu hits the PA. The crowd knows... cheers overwhelm the boos, but the reaction is fairly equal.
Truth Waters: And here he is! The highly-touted Seymour Almasy everyone, wrestling in AWC for the first of hopefully many times.
George Cassidy: I'm not even gonna say it ...
“Final Fantasy” Seymour Almasy strolls to the ring as lights flash around the dimmed arena. Almasy looks focused as he comes to the ring.
James Brunt: And Lexicon's partner, weighing in at 186 pounds, from the Sector 5 Slums of Midgar, SEYMOUR ALMASY!
George Cassidy: The Sector 5 Slums of Midgar? Where the fuck is that?
Truth Waters: It says in my notes it's a quick apparition from the Shire.
Jonny Kae decides for their team that he should be the one starting the match, so BOT grimly accepts and goes to the outside of the ring. Almasy circles the ring, keeping his eyes focused on Kae, who is confidently circling his arms and making his self-nickname clear - “The Most Perfectly Attuned Body in Professional Wrestling”. Whether or not Almasy, or for that matter, anyone else knows or cares is beyond the point.
Truth Waters: Alright, everybody... Seymour Almasy is about to get his hands on an AWC superstar for the first time. This could be good – there's no point in dulling down the hype around the 3-time Global Champion, and it should be interesting what he has to offer.
George Cassidy: Who cares about the credentials! He's an elf! Look at his hair... it look like he stole it right from a Final Fantasy 5.
Truth Waters: I think there is over ten of them now.
George Cassidy: Well, he would know that.
Truth Waters: Anyway, Almasy and Kae starting this match, and it should be known that Kae is almost a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier than the Final Fantasy.
Kae surprisingly catches Almasy off-guard and forces him into a tie up. Kae uses his raw power to out-muscle the much, much smaller man, and pushes him forcefully, causing him to stumble towards the ropes. Kae charges after him immediately as Almasy grasps the top rope. Kae, looking to take his target's head off with a clothesline receives a momentous elbow to his mid-section from Almasy, who used the flexibility of the ring cable to hold him upright.
Truth Waters: Nice reversal there! Almasy is clearly the most experienced in this match, and it could be an important factor as he tries to move on to Triangles.
George Cassidy: We already have enough baby-faces in that damn match... why add this pretty boy when you can have Jonny Kae? Or BOT?
Truth Waters: I don't know, Cassidy... why? Weren't you ragging on them earlier?
George Cassidy: Because it just makes sense!
Truth Waters: I think you're using that word a little too loosely ...
Back in the ring, Almasy is in a vantage point against his British opponent, who stumbled into the middle of the ring as a result of the elbow. Almasy takes two long strides towards him and rises high into the air, wrapping his arm around Kae's neck and slamming his face to the ground with a Bulldog. The crowd pops to the nicely executed maneuver.
George Cassidy: OH – MY – GAWD. DID YOU SEE THAT SHEER FANTASMICA TRUTH?!
Truth Waters: Okay, Cassidy, I get the point. It was a nice move, though... for those watching, forgive my partner – he's a 15 year old trapped in a grown man's body.
George Cassidy: What were you saying, Truth?... I was busy watching that hottie in the front row... look at her!... I'm gonna go find out her name.
Following the bulldog, Almasy is right back to his feet. He drags Kae to his feet and softens him up with a stiff kick to the mid-section. He pushes him in the direction of his partner, Lexicon, and throws a couple knife-edge chops across Kae's chest until Kae is only a meter away from Almasy's corner. The Final Fantasy leaps into the air and connects a drop kick in Kae's face, a rather high reach, sending him crashing backwards into the corner. Almasy tags Lexicon, who enters the ring.
Truth Waters: A quick exchange there in the Almasy/Lexicon tag team... experience is showing already.
Lexicon throws a few punches in Kae's direction, connecting with the side of his head, then grabs a hold of his wrist. Lexicon leans back and powerfully whips Kae into the opposite corner. The receiver hits the buckles hard and the change in momentum results in him doing a face-plant on the canvas, but not before a blind tag from BOT. BOT enters the ring as Kae comes charging back and readies himself.
Truth Waters: A blind tag from BOT there, and a damn smart move if you ask me.
Lexicon comes to a halt as Richie Travis steps in front of BOT, telling him to leave the ring. BOT argues immediately, pointing to the corner of the ring and slapping his hand on his arm to indicate that he did indeed tag him. Travis will have none of it, though, and directs BOT back to the apron. Before BOT leaves the ring, however, he turns quickly around in an unexpected move and lays a hard right hand into Lexicon, sending him reeling towards the middle of the ring. BOT retreats to the apron as Richie Travis pursues him, berating him for his illegal actions. With the official's back turn, Kae has now recovered. He stays on all fours and crawls towards Lexicon, who has is back turned as a result of the punch. Kae measures him up and hits him with a low blow. The crowd boos as Lexicon drops to his knees, clutching his balls.
Truth Waters: Oooooh! Illegal move from Kae there, but it came at a good time as Richie Travis was preoccupied with BOT, who played the major role in that rather unorthodox teamwork. Nonetheless, it was effective as Lexicon is in a bit of a bind now.
The argument between Travis and BOT ends as the man in the stripes returns to his duty. Travis sees Lexicon caressing his jewels and hypothesizes as to what transpired, but can do nothing about it. Jonny Kae grabs Lexicon by his underarms and lifts him on all fours, then follows with a set of knee-strikes into the top of his head. Lexicon holds his skull in pain, face-down on the canvas, as Kae taunts Almasy. The Final Fantasy looks just about ready to come into the ring and get down to business, but holds back and Kae returns to Lexicon.
Truth Waters: That Jonny Kae is bad news in this match... you should be praising him, Cassidy!
...
Truth Waters: Cassidy?
Kern realizes that Marx hasn't returned yet, and is indeed at ringside, talking over the barrier to the girl in the front row he spotted before. The flirting appears rather one-sided. In the ring, however, Kae has Lexicon back on his feet and in a front face-lock. Kae aggressively lifts Lexicon into the air and stalls, letting him hang upside down for a good five seconds. Whether purposely or not, Kae is slowly moving towards the ring cables. Kae notices this and impressively drops Lexicon forwards onto the ropes, sending him crashing and landing awkwardly on the outside, right near where Marx is talking to the girl. He watches the two men anxiously.
Truth Waters: Impressively powerful move from the London native there, and my partner looks almost frightened given the circumstances.
Jonny Kae taunts Almasy again with a smug expression, then slowly moves onto the apron and drops to the outside, where Lexicon is waiting for him. Lexicon has crawled slowly somewhat in the direction of Marx. Kae confronts Marx, and an altercation results. The commentator cowers under the giant Kae, who stands at a mighty 6'7”.
Truth Waters: Holy shit!... look at the Final Fantasy!
Seymour Almasy is now in the ring, and sure enough is making a move, as he rebounds from the opposite side of the ring and heads toward the other side at full-speed. Richie Travis notices, but is in the middle of the count-out and can't stop him now. Almasy launches onto the top rope and bounces off in the direction of Kae/Marx, and lands a cross body on Kae, taking both men out! Strong positive reaction from the crowd.
Truth Waters: OH MY GOD!, ALMASY!
Both Kae and Marx got the worst of it, but Lexicon remains on the ground also after being underneath the targeted man. Richie Travis looks irked in the ring, as he got distracted from his count, and starts again.
Truth Waters: Ladies and gentleman, my partner has finally got what was coming to him! I can say that this is a great day in AWC.
Indeed, Marx is struggling to crawl back to the commentator's table as a result of being plastered into the barrier. Kae is in the same shape, but Almasy is recovering from his big spot. BOT, however, takes action and is coming around the corner to join the party. A couple of strong right hands catch Almasy off guard. BOT grabs him by the wrist and throws him strongly into the barrier, moving the illegal men's battle away from the two legal men – Lexicon and Kae – who are both recovering.
Truth Waters: Ouch! BOT is the freshest man in this match, and it showed there.
BOT doesn't pursue Almasy like expected, but instead turns to Jonny Lexicon. He picks him up and throws him back into the ring to break the ten-count, and does the same to his own partner. BOT then retreats to his own corner, hoping for a tag. Jonny Kae slowly crawls towards his corner as Lexicon gets to his feet. Kae uses his long arms to reach and tag the outstretched hand of BOT, who enters the ring as Lexicon gets to his feet. BOT charges down his victim, creaming him with a clothesline that sends Lexicon head over heels.
Truth Waters: BOT taking control!... almost taking Lexicon's head off with that clothesline.... And my partner is finally back. How's your head, Cassidy?
George Cassidy: That damn Almasy!
Truth Waters: Don't blame him! You were in the way, and not doing your job!
George Cassidy: I was just having a nice conversation with that lady...
Truth Waters: It looked a little one sided to me ...
Almasy is back up from the outside and on the apron in his alloted corner as BOT goes to work on Lexicon, wearing him down considerably. BOT has him in the corner, pummeling him with right hands. He follows with a couple of knife edge chops across Lexicon's chest. BOT backs off, then drives his knee into Lexicon's mid-section, causing him to double over and set himself up for a headlock from BOT. The attacker muscles his prey to the middle of the ring, wrenching away at his neck. On the outside, Almasy is trying to rally his partner, putting his hands together and getting the crowd to join along. A chant and clap ensues, and Lexicon throws and elbow into BOT's gut. BOT keeps the hold on strong, but Lexicon is showing signs of life. Lexicon wraps a free arm around BOT's hip, and tries to lift him up in a Back-Body-Drop. BOT counters the momentum in mid-move and comes back down to the canvas in a sit-down Bulldog.
Truth Waters: Close one there for the Notorious BOT, that could've drastically changed the momentum of this match.
George Cassidy: Look at that Almasy trying to rally everyone, as if he's been in AWC for more than a match! Ungrateful prick ...
Truth Waters: He's a little charismatic. And as far as I'm concerned, he's allowed to be.
George Cassidy: You would say that, AAK.
Truth Waters: What?
George Cassidy: ALMASY ASS KISSER! HAH!... I'm so witty.
BOT gets to his feet and straddles Lexicons legs. He flips him over and hooks each arm under a leg, leans backwards, drops to the canvas and slingshots the Calgary native into the corner. Lexicon collides hard with the turnbuckle and stumbles away, turning around right into a front face-lock from BOT. Tenacious B keeps him held and reaches over towards Jonny Kae for the tag. Kae comes in and joins Bottitude in the front-face-lock. In sync, they lift Kae in the air for a Vertical Suplex. They stall for the effect, then fall backwards as Lexicon crashes hard into the canvas.
George Cassidy: Beautiful teamwork from these two impressive men! Bravo!
Truth Waters: Richie Travis doesn't look happy.
BOT leaves the ring as Kae resumes the position of legal man. Kae immediately pounces on Lexicon for the first pin of the match.
Truth Waters: And our first pin could be the final! Wouldn't that be something ..
ONE!
TWO!
Almasy interrupts the count! Richie Travis's irritated words follow Almasy out of the ring as Kae the crowd cheers in response to the Final Fantasy potentially saving his spot at Triangles. Kae resumes his team's domination, and brings the weary Lexicon to his feet. Kae wraps his arms around his waist and throws over Lexicon in a capture Belly-to-Belly Suplex.
Truth Waters: Look at that monster throw Lexicon around, who is rather huge himself standing at 6'5”. The latter has the weight advantage, but looks like he's almost run out of gas in this one.
George Cassidy: And Kae's gonna win it right here!
Truth Waters: He goes for another pin!
ONE!
TWO!
Truth Waters: Kickout! Looks like he maybe has a little bit left in him ...
George Cassidy: I wouldn't put your money on it, Truth. Not against this giant.
Kae tosses Lexicon into a partner-free corner. Beginning to get angry at his failed pins, Jonny charges towards Lexicon. He sloppily lifts his huge foot into the air, aiming for Lexicon's face with his Big Boot. Lexicon catches on at the last second and ducks out. Kae ends up straddling the ropes as a result, leaving him vulnerable for a behind attack. Lexicon takes advantage quickly with a Back Body Drop!
Truth Waters: Nice sequence there from Johnny Lexicon! And his home crowd is getting behind him!
George Cassidy: We're in Toronto, Truth, not Calgary.
Truth Waters: Well... Canada as a whole ..
George Cassidy: Are you judging Canada by America's standards, Truth? Hmm? Are you an ethnocentric person?
Truth Waters: Do you even know what that word means?
George Cassidy: Yes. I took Introduction to Sociology 90:154.
Truth Waters: Rrrright.
Johnny Lexicon is clearly out of gas as he struggles to get over to his corner. It's a slow process, and the typical bullshit ensues – Almasy clapping his hands together, getting the crowd to rally behind their team. The crowd goes nuts with chants and claps, and the Final Fantasy desperately reaches for the tag. As Kae gets to his feet, Lexicon leaps for the tag and slaps Almasy's hand. The crowd goes ape-shit as the man from the Sector 5 Slums of Midgar (a ten hour quest from Gondor) enters the ring with enthusiasm, immediately heading for Kae.
Truth Waters: And the Final Fantasy is in the ring! Holy shit, this crowd is mental!
George Cassidy: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU BLITHERING IDIOTS!
Almasy charges down Kae. At almost a foot disadvantage in height to the monster, one of Almasy's only options is a Spinning Heel Kick which requires a 30-inch vertical to reach the giant's head. But he does it, somehow, and Kae gets his head seriously knocked. Almasy is up immediately, in part as a response to the crowd's cheers. BOT taunts Almasy from the apron. And get ready for the longest run-on sentence of all time: inn an unexpected, surprising, and somewhat stupid move, Almasy runs towards the ropes, jumps up onto the top, springs off towards Bot, wraps his legs around his neck and Hurracaranas him to the outside!
Truth Waters: OH MY GOD!!
George Cassidy: The was a smart move... not.
Almasy, running on adrenaline, is back up in very little time as the crowd is going insane. The spot monkey looks to his legal opponent, who is inside the ring.
George Cassidy: Okay, maybe I was wrong.
Truth Waters: Admit defeat, Marx. Just do it.
Almasy slides quickly into the ring and spots Kae, who is beginning to recover from the Spinning Heel Kick. Kae sits up, and lifts his head in time to see Almasy on a bee-line for him. You can hear the Final Fantasy scream “Die, Scumbag!” before he figuratively beheads Kae with a running layout boot to the face!
Truth Waters: Die, Scumbag!
George Cassidy: Excuse me?!
Truth Waters: It's his finishing move ...
George Cassidy: Yeah right!
The crowd is in a frenzy as Almasy hooks the long legs of Jonny Kae as Richie Travis drops for the count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Truth Waters: And that's that! Despite the team of BOT and Jonny Kae arguably controlling the majority of this match, Almasy comes through in the clutch to clinch a spot for himself and Lexicon at Triangles.
George Cassidy: And Trent would like to apologize for not writing this match in reflection of the roleplays.
Truth Waters: What?
George Cassidy: ALMASY SUCKS!
James Brunt: And the winner of this match, Seymour Almasy and Johnny Lexicon!!
Richie Travis lifts Almasy and Lexicon's hands into the air as “Otherworld” by Nobuo Uematsu (I had to alt-tab three times to spell that, Sean).
Truth Waters: There you have it, folks... we'll certainly be seeing Almasy at least once more in AWC action come Triangles time... and who knows, maybe more after that. With his display tonight I would label him a considerable competitor, even with the likes of our Transatlantic Champion Garbage Bag Johnny, Pierce Lavelle, and Ellis Nash already in the match.
George Cassidy: Phhh.. Adam Dick is gonna win it anyway.
Truth Waters: Adam Dick retired, idiot.
George Cassidy: Fine... Jack Murphy is going to win it!
Truth Waters: Also, the Livewire Champion, Johnny Lexicon, now has a spot in the Triangles contest, and certainly don't doubt him. He's been on fire as of late.
George Cassidy: He won a couple of matches... so what?
Truth Waters: And finally, up next we have the Main Event... Gabriel Afeaki defends his Relentless title against Jack Murphy, which is sure to be a tremendous match! Stick around!
The Cliche "He's Coming" Promo
FEATURING: ???
AUTHOR: ???
The lights in the arena go dark as a hype video begins to play on the tron.
George Cassidy: Now what the hell is this?
Images of two former PCW superstars begin to flash across the screen. The images show shots of Jon Kano and “Controversial” Corey Williams followed by a question mark.
Mysterious Voice: What do all these people have in common? The mystery will soon be answered.
The lights in the arena turn back on as the video ends.
Truth Waters: I’ll admit that was weird… but it did bring back some old PCW memories.
George Cassidy: Blah! Memories, I’m just glad we don’t have Duke Williams taking up roster space anymore. Who the hell do you think that’s supposed to hype anyways?
Truth Waters: Who knows, but that mysterious voice said we’d find out soon. I guess we can just wait.
George Cassidy: Waiting is for porn stars who want to get that money shot to the face over with. Speaking of PCW, that type of video wouldn’t have aired if this were PCW.
Truth Waters: No… we’d just have silly commercials about how Tampax is the official sanitary napkin of someone.
George Cassidy: I’m sure Dave and Jeff would love to tell us all about it. Now conveniently, our main event competitors came to the ring during the video, so now we can jump right in…
Gabriel Afeaki (c) vs Jack Murphy
STIPULATION: RELENTLESS FRONTIER GAUNTLET
REFEREE: LARS LARSSON
AUTHOR: JAMIE FLETCHER
Truth Waters: The Mixed Martial Arts master from Fiji, the man who destroyed 22 men in his cage fighting career and has taken AWC by storm with his agility, power and dominance stands opposite a man who has done it all. Jack Murphy, former Transatlantic champion knows exactly what it takes to be a champion and win matches of the highest caliber and tonight is no doubt one of those matches.
George Cassidy: It’s ring veteranship against raw ability.
The bell rings.
GA and Jack Murphy collide. The crowd divided go insane as GA automatically imposes his will on Jack Murphy propelling him across the ring.
Truth Waters: I have never seen anybody handle Jack Murphy like that. With all this talk of I-PPV how about... GA Vs Boda Vs… the fat dude from GCW.
Counting to exerting himself over Murphy, GA reinforces his early intentions dropping his boot into the back of Jack Murphy before the Irish superstar can stand back up. He knows how this match is, it is driving GA almost to the brink. The pressure does Afeaki great, it brings out the animal in the Fijian monster. Every time Murphy makes an attempt to stand GA hammers his clubbing foot into his back.
George Cassidy: Couldn't that be anyone from the GCW roster?
Truth Waters: No, that's FUSE.
Snapping back Murphy snatches GA's foot but Gabriel swings his foot loose and like a pendulum it rocks back in the air... but as wit every pendulum his leg drops but swiveling on the spot GA kicks through Jack Murphy's stomach like a football knocking the wind out of him.
George Cassidy: An electric company?
The damage of the kick gets Afeaki excited in a way normally only regarded normal if it was sexual but there is something about the Fijian and the pleasure of the science of pain infliction that seems so perfectly natural. GA scores a second; equally successful football kick to the stomach of Jack Murphy who from the momentum of the attack shoots up onto his feet. However Murphy isn't in control of himself, nursing his stomach is oblivious to GA. Moreover GA is pacing up and down debating his method to forward his strategy. Taking a handful of Murphy's hair, a liberty not normally taken in MMA but in the squared circle you can get away with a lot more shit. He snaps Murphy into a straight standing position... leaving “The Bull” Murphy's wounded abdomen open for an onslaught.
George Cassidy: GA... the man Samoa Joe is based on.
Truth Waters: I was talking to some of the guys backstage. Everyone expected this match to be even, no one thought Murphy would get an easy win but never did anyone imagine GA would assert himself this much.
Measuring his hand up, GA's hand fluctuates between the reddened spot on Jack Murphy's chest and the optimum distance for the faultless chop. Having scientifically analysed the blow, GA executes his chop rushing his fingers across the reddened spot while the palm of his hand slams into the spot just below the huge rash.
Truth Waters: Did you see that Cass? GA's hands are lethal weapons.
George Cassidy: There’s nothing as lethal as the Bull Charge. Period.
Truth Waters: Yeah, those are pretty lethal too.
Possessing the prosperities on a hinge and the robotic nature of a computer GA's arm launches a rapid assault on Jack Murphy, every chop laying into the spot on optimum pain and suffering... a very special talent. Many Relentless champions in the past have relied on the traditional array of weaponry (taking nothing away from them) but one must question Afeaki's need for it. Almost everything GA needs he has already. Wrapping both hands around the neck of Jack Murphy, GA drop down onto his knee and flips Jack over onto his bum... so that he is sitting down.
George Cassidy: I would not want to be Jack Murphy's back... right about now.
Truth Waters: Next week Jack Murphy has to take on Facey in GTT6 but the real question is will Jack Murphy get past GA tonight? Will Jack Murphy even make it to the PTC event?
Standing a stride away from Jack Murphy, GA cracks his right foot like a whip cracking at Jack Murphy's back, first he connects with the inner portion of his foot, he switches his next to the outer, following this his third kick is an explosive short distance jab using the whole length of his boot laced portion of his foot. One... two... three.... four short distance kicks each connect with Jack Murphy's back with no breathing space, however the fifth kick is paused for extra purpose but while the intentions are sound the judgment is wrong... The Bull purposely falls to one side, GA's foot rushing past Murphy. Showing excellent control GA stops his foot in midair and reassess his mode of attack, dropping his boot he aims to drill the sole of his boot into the knee cap of Murphy. Plan B doesn't work, Murphy spreads his legs and The Fijian Animal's right foot lands in between Murphy. Turning himself over Murphy tries to run away but GA reaches down grabbing Jack Murphy's leg leg... Inzuiguira... Gabriel spots it a mile off dropping his upper body down low enough to avoid Jack Murphy's comeback. The failed Inzuiguira leaves Murphy wide open, GA exploits his position applying a stern ankle lock.
Truth Waters: Jack Murphy has finally woken up.
George Cassidy: It’s astounding how Murphy, at his age and weight, can even attempt such an athletic kick!
Truth Waters: Testament to the ability of the whole AWC roster. We really train them up.
Murphy flips back over but GA manages to make Murphy roll more then he intended so that he does a complete flip, so he is right back in the position he had wanted to escape. The camera man on the outside does a little close up on Jack Murphy's face, red, surprised and perplexed bets describe Jack Murphy who seems very uncertain as to where his comeback is going appear from but the camera pans out and shows Murphy exactly where it is coming... the ropes are now like two inches in front of him.
George Cassidy: Come on Murphy, get over it and GRAB THE ROPE!!!
Murphy springs to life latching onto the rope.
The referee instantly makes Afeaki drop Jack Murphy's leg.
Pissed off at the nature of the AWC official Gabriel Afeaki takes it out on Jack Murphy. Stomping the shit out of Murphy but GA doesn't think and his temper gets the better of him, he stomps Jack Murphy out of the ring. Rolling out of the ring The Bull can recover but GA goes after him... NO! The referee gets in GA's face, stopping him from leaving the squared circle.
Truth Waters: This is really starting to annoy me.
George Cassidy: You and me alike Truth.
Leaping onto the ring apron Jack Murphy is armed with... a can of insect repellent he sprays it over the head of the referee into the general direction of GA. Gabriel can't do anything, Murphy has GA blinded in the middle of the ring. Smirking the former Transatlantic champion dives into the ring and covers GA hoping a complete lack of senses will get the better of GA.
ONE!
No GA kicks out.
Picking GA up off the mat Jack Murphy understands his window of opportunity is very small and that he must capitalize. Holding GA's head close to his stomach Jack Murphy pushes he knee's up into GA's head bombarding it with heavy duty punishment. After the fifth knee to the face Jack releases GA... GA is in the middle of the ring and... GA drops his head down avoiding Jack Murphy's arm colliding with his neck. The Champion has Murphy cornered, throwing his body weight backwards GA leads with his elbow but Murphy spins out of the way. GA bounces out of the corner but Jack Murphy can't build on his advantage as Afeaki escapes his attempted bulldog and out of nowhere GA's boot swings off of the mat high enough to smash Jack Murphy's face in but Murphy tilts his head back. Moving down towards Afeaki, Murphy tries to strike GA using his arm like a club but GA shimmies across the mat avoiding contact with The Bull who has enough control to pause just before making contact with the mat.
Truth Waters: These two men are engaged in an extreme version of chess.
George Cassidy: Look at Murphy, this reminds me of Tom and Jerry.
Following GA around the ring Murphy continually attempts to nail GA to the canvas with his robotic rights but GA avoids them like the plague. Getting pissed off Murphy is forced to make a mistake, he drops his knee *Destination Gabriel's yed* but GA again just a little flick of the upper body allows him to get away damage free. Nursing his knee Jack Murphy can't help himself and is subjected to Gabriel's smothering submission. The Fijian monster's arm resembles a snake crawling it's way around Jack Murphy's neck and tightening it's grip. Murphy's face begins to bear striking resemblance to that piece of woodwork you squished in the vice. Admit it, we've all done it. The submission doesn't last as Murphy finds the top rope. Displaying immense strength Jack Murphy pulls himself towards the ropes, duck and back body drops GA over the top rope and out of the ring but GA lands on the ring apron showing superb agility and flexibility for a man of his size... and he still has the submission in lock.
Truth Waters: GA is going to...
GA steps down off the apron... the back of Jack Murphy's neck cracks into the ring cable which sends the crowd into hysteria.
“GA! GA! GA!” is the chant of the AWC massive as Jack Murphy is completely taken apart by the hard hitting, strong style, mixed martial artist.
Sliding back into the ring GA smoothers Jack Murphy once again showing the stubbornness that often defines such great warriors. Never diverting from the original plan. However yet again Jack Murphy is able to counter by getting both of his legs around the bottom ring cable. The referee forces GA off but GA doesn't move far enough. In fact Afeaki budges only far enough so that his assault is effective and unrepealable.
Truth Waters: GA is a fighter’s fighter.
Shifting Jack Murphy into the corner the ring GA positions him in a seated position against the bottom turnbuckle pad. Like many classic, bona fide strong style wrestlers Afeaki places his boot on the right side of Jack Murphy's face and pushes it almost through him so that it turns his head slightly... a second, a third, forth... they keep coming, each fucking Jack Murphy up good and proper.
George Cassidy: GA is making ground.
Moving further and further away from Jack Murphy, GA hits stiffer, harder, more intense kicks each one wowing the AWC faithful witnessing this classic unfold. Bending down GA unleashes a series of slaps intended to be belittling: they do the job. After he had finished his little charade GA sprints off of to the ropes to which he explodes back with exceptional pace for such a large man tucking himself up in a ball the Fijian Animal just launches his whole body mass forward hurtling into Jack Murphy like a bowling ball.
Truth Waters: Holy... pepperoni...
George Cassidy: Bring back Jeff Marx.
Truth Waters: Hey!
The crowd is popping like tarts for GA and not so much for Jamie Fletcher's humour. Now where are we??? shinning wizard??? oops no... PIN!
GA uses his own body with a brush pushing Jack Murphy into the middle of the ring giving the Fijian no problems when making a pin.
One!
Two!
Jack Murphy kicks out.
The Fijian is flustered but equally excited by the kick out because it gives him another opportunity to show off to the crowd and AWC. He even tips himself up in the fashion of a welterweight obviously a trick he had been teaching himself all week. Pulling Jack “The Bull” Murphy up off of the canvas he purposefully lobs Murphy's body into the corner of the ring this time so he is standing up and not sitting down. Sniggering GA steam trains towards Murphy head first, gore!!!
Truth Waters: Who needs the Bull Charge?!
Moving out of the corner GA spins on the spot and follows his gore up with a special Lariat that sends Jack Murphy head over heals. Falling to his knees GA covers Jack Murphy for a second time in quick succession.
One!
Two!
Once again Jack Murphy escapes the pin. This is beginning to annoy GA, not many people have gotten up from a GA beating before and GA knows himself. GA knows that if he allows Jack Murphy to hang in, there will become a point where he will lose energy and lose energy at a fast rate.
Afeaki uses his right hand demonstrating why they are lethal weapons he begins to choke the life out of Jack Murphy.
Truth Waters: Referee break it up. Mike Wade won't be happy. What happens if GA gets chucked out in the context of the match and the gauntlet?
George Cassidy: I didn't think that as possible.
Lifting his hands into the air Murphy goes in search of a way out but GA gives it Murphy when he least expects it. Dropping the submission hold, GA stands... pele kick to the back sends Jack Murphy off across the ring but Murphy can't avoid a mindblowing knee shot from GA which leaves Jack Murphy lying on his back. Plucking Jack Murphy's head up off the mat via a big grip on Jack Murphy's hair, GA thrusts his knee into Jack Murphy's skull, drawing his knee back he gives himself a little more room allowing him to toe punt Jack Murphy's head. Again GA gets down on his knees and covers Jack Murphy.
One!
Two!
JACK MURPHY CONTINUES TO CAUSE GA PROBLEMS.
Afeaki refusing to accept the referee's count begins to wage a verbal war with the referee after which he asserts himself on Jack Murphy again.
One!
Tw...
Kick out.
GA screams, half standing he tries to punch down at Jack Murphy as if his hand was a drill but Murphy's head manages to slide along the mat. GA's fist and the mat have a date, his rage getting in the way of his normal control.
Truth Waters: Is this a cunning plan from Jack Murphy or can Gabriel really not put away the monster.
George Cassidy: Who knows.
Holding his hand Afeaki hops across the ring expressing significant visible pain for the first time tonight. Tip up, Murphy is on his feet. Turning around he spots Gabriel and legs it towards him but Gabriel side steps and sends Jack Murphy into the corner. Nursing his hand still GA has his right hand out ready for the follow up but Murphy is willing to display how the Fijian isn't the only big man with agility in this match. As he approaches the turnbuckle he throws his hands out which allows him to push against the corner post giving him the ability to launch himself back over GA's head and lands safely behind GA.
DROP KICK! To Jack Murphy's back.
George Cassidy: Tactics like this made Jack Murphy champion. He didn't wait for GA to turn. No! He launched him into the turnbuckle pads forcing pressure onto the already injured hand of GA upon impact.
Jack Murphy and Gabriel tie up.
Truth Waters: Here we go wrestling.
Jack Murphy scoots around Gabriel's body. The waist lock isn't strong enough to contain Gabriel who leans forward trying to wrestle Jack Murphy off but Murphy athletically drops his body to the side of Gabriel. Sliding his arms up GA's body Murphy has GA kippered with a headlock but GA lets out a scream before moving on the offensive moving Jack Murphy as if he was nothing but a chess piece. Flinging off of the ropes Jack Murphy uncontrollably comes back off of the opposite cables at top speed. GA applies his own version of the headlock but “Bull” Murphy is the better “wrestler” and is sharper, he instantly clutches onto GA's wrist giving his submission no real authority or consolidation.
George Cassidy: This is quick chain wrestling unlike anything you will see in the rest of the PTC.
Truth Waters: Murphy is out of the headlock already.
Twisting GA's arm Jack applies a considerable amount of pressure which doesn't faze Afeaki who makes escape look easy. Rolling forward, turning, rising and applying looks all so easy for the champion who reverses the wrist lock into a submission on Jack Murphy's palm. The submission combined with Gabriel's height forces Jack Murphy down onto one knee but this is not a bad thing. It opens up the opportunity for Murphy to sweep GA's feet out from underneath. GA loses control of the submission is his fall.
Truth Waters: Timber!!!
Moreover Jack Murphy doesn't let GA's hand fall out of his grasp instead he holds Gabriel's hand for his dear life. JACK MURPHY wraps his legs around the neck of GA while pulling on his arm stretching GA almost attempting to yank his shoulder out of place.
George Cassidy: Jack Murphy has GA stranded in the middle of the ring, he's going to tap!!!. This is always GA's problem.
Afeaki can't move, the camera does a close up on his face exposing the myth as the truth. The eyes of GA tell the whole story... a man on the decline, a man who is walking into Jack Murphy's hand with every second he continues fighting. One must ask if GA can make it past the submission.
Who knows maybe his eyes rolled over to his belt. Possible GA watched last year’s Triangles or he may have even found god. His motives are questionable but the end result was phenomenal.
Truth Waters: What is Gabriel doing?
Lifting his right shoulder Gabriel does his best to lift Jack Murphy up. At first it looks like GA is an insane man on the edge of defeat but with every moment that passes GA gets closer to achieving his goal. For a brief second Jack Murphy reasserts complete authority but a mistake in the realignment of the submission gives GA his opportunity, the window was there. GA turns onto his left shoulder and begins to stand hoicking Jack's body up with his whole right hand.
George Cassidy: I have never seen strength like that in a ring.
GA flips Jack Murphy over for a Boston... No Murphy's left leg smashes into Gabriel's face as he turns him... ENZERGURI KICK. GA is down on the mat but so is Murphy, neither man able to act on the others detriment.
The referee counts both of them down.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!! FOUR!!!
Jack Murphy slides out of the ring and lifts up the ring apron. Is it a plane? Is it a bird? No.... It's a.... CHEESE WHEEL??? Haha Johnny.
Truth Waters: Who put a cheese wheel under the ring?
George Cassidy: Who knows.
Leaning over the apron and into the ring GA smashes the cheese wheel into the skull of the Champion GA. The crowd pops like the smarks the little bitches are. Throwing the Cheese wheel into the ring Murphy searches under the ring again, long and hard. Jack Murphy pulls out a shield????
Truth Waters: LOL Final Fantasy that.
George Cassidy: World of Warcraft?
Truth Waters: Who cares it only happens when Seymour Almasy is in the building.
Like a hammer thrower Jack Murphy launches the shield into the ring. It rains down on GA, blunting any signs of the comeback. For a third time Jack Murphy goes searching under the ring for a weapon and what does he find...??? it's a dildo uniquely resembling Vampir Nosferatu... but Jack Murphy is having none of it as he rips the face off of the Vampir Nosferatu dildo to reveal...
”HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” is the cry of the AWC crowd as the camera shoes a close up of the unmasked dildo... only the unmasked dildo is in fact very much masked... THE DILDO OF FACE-EATER!!!
George Cassidy: What the fuck? The dildo of Face-Eater?
THE DILDO OF FACE-EATER!
Dropping the obviously possed Dildo Jack Murphy is in shock. There is no time for worrying, GA is bolting it towards Murphy with the shield in one hand, baseball slide. Using the shield but Murphy side steps.
Truth Waters: Jack Murphy just avoided that.
GA collides with the ring barrier. Jack Murphy hits the floor as well???
George Cassidy: What just happened?
A camera close up reply shows how Jack Murphy had tripped on the DILDO OF FACE-EATER!!!
Truth Waters: Dick has cost Jack Murphy the flow of the match.
“FUCK HIM UP DILDO, FUCK HIM UP!”
George Cassidy: Did a Dildo just play a major role in this match?
Truth Waters: Is Jamie Fletcher really writing a match with a dildo? What happened to the shinning wizard... bring it back!
Both men ascend to their feet in tandem giving neither a clear advantage over the other resulting in a good old fashioned punch start brawl on the outside. Again it is evident that GA is losing control of the match. He can't hit a punch, it looked very sloppy giving Jack Murphy a bread and butter block he could flow into a kick to the stomach which allows Jack Murphy to capitalize.
George Cassidy: Back to wrestling, eh?
Irish whip sends Gabriel packing. Gabriel is handled with by Murphy at great ease as he propels him into the ring steps. The crowd love it as Murphy swings his knee into the side of GA's head doing his best to implant a permanent copy of his skull in the ring steps. Not satisfied that the steps reflected GA well enough Jack Murphy decides to repeat the job again and does so to great effect. Finally after noticing just how peeved the referee was Jack Murphy puts GA back into the ring. However before Jack Murphy can get back into the ring he looks down at the Dildo and frowns. Moreover the staredown with the Dildo could have been the explination to why the pin count that followed just feel short.
One!
Two!
GA shakes his body which throws Jack Murphy off of him. GA using the momentum from the pin escape, stands but Jack Murphy is waiting for him and ties him up with a waist lock. At first it is a strain for him but after a while he breaks GA... Belly to back suplex by Jack Murphy on the champion.
Sprawling over GA, Jack Murphy makes a cover in a period of wrestling that is reflecting GA's dominant start leading the watcher on to assume it was Jack Murphy's plan to consolidate energy and then when Afeaki had worn himself out put his foot on the pedal and get things going.
One!
Two!
The same result a regulation kick out. Jack Murphy goes across the ring fetching the shield in light of a cunning plan to win the contest. Bringing the shield over he drops it on the face of Gabriel.
Truth Waters: Jack Murphy is about to get ghetto wrestling on us.
The Jack Murphy 474 is in motion as he gets up onto the top rope. Jumping off? Dropping off??? who knows how to describe it??? Jack Murphy just gets the right line and length to double stomp the section of the shield that covers GA's face. The disturbing bit about the whole move is the face Jack Murphy pulls after for the close up. It kinda bared gross resemblance to the grin a child pulls after he had just jumped into the fattest puddle against his mothers wishes. Jack Murphy covers GA with his feet on the ropes.
Truth Waters: CHRIST!
ONE!
Truth Waters: Hey – check the feet!
TWO!
Truth Waters: FEET!
George Cassidy: Hehe.
THREE!!!
DING DING DING
George Cassidy: The ghetto stomp with the shield has won Jack Murphy the match and more important the championship.
Lars Larsson hands Jack Murphy the championship.
James Brunt: The winner… and new RELENTLESS CHAMPION... JACK MURPHY!!!
Truth Waters: He cheated! He had his feet on the ropes!
George Cassidy: Relentless, Truth, Relentless!
Truth Waters: That’s not how it works!
George Cassidy: Isn’t it? He used the environment to his advantage!
Truth Waters: Lars Larsson’s playing a screwy game… But we have a new Relentless champion ladies and gentlemen! The Gauntlet’s kicked off with a bang, Darcy Crisis defending his title but Gabriel Afeaki succumbing to the second ever loss of his career, with Jack Murphy racking up his third AWC championship!
George Cassidy: And there’ll be more to come, he’s still got half his Grand Slam Package left!
Truth Waters: Seymour Almasy and Johnny Lexicon are confirmed for Triangles, and next week we’ll get another two confirmed competitors! Right now, though, it looks like we’re heading off air…
Revelling In Rebellion
FEATURING: DAVID HARBER, JACK MURPHY
AUTHOR: FERGUS
You know one of these days David 'Don’t Call Me Pearl' Harber would get the respect that he rightfully felt he deserves. What with the Empire and finally getting back in charge, things were starting to look up again. He could walk down the corridors of the RICOH Coliseum and feel... liberated almost. It was good, really good. Of course knowing the run of luck David has had in the past year or so with AWC, whenever anything could be going right for him, something has to go wrong immediately after.
Harber walks right round the corner and bumps right into somebody. The clink of metal against his belt makes him look up... and sigh sadly. Standing in front of him is the new Relentless champion, Jack Murphy. Fresh from his victory, he's looking pretty happy about himself, and now with Harber in his sights, things just couldn't have gotten any better.
Jack Murphy: (grinning) Ah Pearl, exactly the man I was looking for.
Harber gulps a little, feeling unsafe around the Bull. The last time he was this close to him in a closed setting... well let's just say he's looking around for any wood right now.
David Harber: (through gritted teeth) Congratulations Jack.
Jack Murphy: Aww you're trying to be nice! Nice doesn't work so well with you Pearl you know that. Just like it hasn't worked well with me either.
Murphy grabs the shirt of Harber and lifts him up, planting him against the wall. David Harber is breathing heavily now, looking pretty precariously around for someone, anyone to help. It doesn't look like anyone's coming though.
Jack Murphy: Don't worry Pearl, you're not going to get hurt... this time anyway. Nah I want you to be around for all the fun I have in store.
Murphy takes a look at the belt.
Jack Murphy: This is only the beginning Pearl... only the beginning.
He lets Harber down who immediately goes to brush down his body and then leave. Murphy stops him.
Jack Murphy: Oh and Pearl? You've got something on your shirt.
David Harber: No I don...
Before Pearl can respond Murphy spits right in his face, getting him square in the eye. Satisfied, Jack laughs it off and pats Harber on the shoulder, wandering off to enjoy the night. Behind him, a seething Harber wipes his face as veins bulge out from his throat. And that... is that.