Fresh!burst Results19th March 2006
Introduction
FEATURING: TRUTH WATERS, GEORGE CASSIDY
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
The “AWC in 2006” logo fills the screen, and then fades away to show a darkened arena. Abrupt fireworks on the stage, cheers, and then the lights suddenly flash bright with the grungy beginnings of “E-Pro” by Beck. The fans in Alumni Hall go wild, screaming their lungs out as the video screen bursts into action with highlights of 2005. All the big spots are there: Hate tossing Pierce Lavelle off the bus in the Streets Of London match; Jack Murphy’s flying Bull Charge on Tim Shipley in the Triangles structure; Lavelle’s Whiplash to send Alexander Strider into the fire at Solarized; and many more.
See me coming to town with my soul
Straight down out of the world with my fingers
Holding onto the devil I know
All my troubles will hang on your trigger
Take your eyes and your mind from the road
Shoot your mouth off but look where you’re aiming
Don’t forget to pick up what you sow
Talking trash to the garbage around you
The Transatlantic title belt fills the screen, momentarily fading through to a shot of Jack Murphy, proudly holding his belt aloft as he grins widely into the camera. And then it’s white light.
Truth Waters: Alumni Hall! Cassidy, I haven’t been here since Neon Wrestling’s second ever show!
George Cassidy: Truth, I haven’t been here since NOBODY CARES!
Truth Waters: That’s a little---
George Cassidy: In fact, nobody cares about this show at all. It’s Fresh!burst. There are no good matches. All that happens is pay-per-view bookings that got delayed from last week, and for predictable scheduling anyway. I may as well go home now…
Truth Waters: And miss the most combustible match in recent times? Our main event tonight: Darcy Crisis and Ellis Nash against Aimz and Transatlantic champion Jack Murphy! Irresistible.
George Cassidy: See, if Nash and Murphy teamed up it’d be easy, but short of Ellis joining Murphy’s side and beating down those two protracted lovebirds for a “no contest”, I can’t think WHAT’S going to go down there…
Truth Waters: Which is why you STAY in that seat, eat your effin’ popcorn and enjoy the damn show!
Hellfest 9000 Xxtreme Hxc
FEATURING: ADAM DICK, SASHA VOLKYEVA, JESSICA O'GRADY, JACK MURPHY
AUTHORS: JOEY AND THE LOON
Adam Dick: I'm FUCKING what?
Sasha Volkyeva: Wrestling Jack Murphy at the coming pay-per-view. I don't see the problem.
Apparently, Adam's been a victim of the body-snatchers and his place has been traded by a non-greedy pussy who wouldn't bury a pack of kittens up to their head and run them over with a lawnmower if he thought it'd give him a title shot. No, this Adam is what they call 'bitch-made.'
Adam Dick: Don't see the problem?! DON'T SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEM!? I'M A FUCKING JOKE! I'm not ready for this shit.
As Adam turns from Sasha's desk to the couches where Jessica sits, she takes the time to console her latest client.
Jessica O’Grady: Not ready? That's hogwash, Adam, and you know you more than deserve it.
Adam Dick: Oh yeah, why's that? Because I lost us the Alliance titles? Or because all those chicks beat me? Or because I lost us the chance to win back the Alliance titles? Seriously, I'm baffled; how the fuck did this happen?
Jack Murphy: Because I made it so.
Oh yes, Jack is here. Well, he wasn't before. He just doesn't say 'hi' when he barges in offices; he likes to make his impression.
Sasha Volkyeva: I didn't hear a knock, Mr. Murphy.
Jack Murphy: Maybe that's because you're too busy trying to sabotage my title reign. I've been looking everywhere for MY manager (glare to Jessica). I should known that you'd all be plotting together.
Jessica O’Grady: Sorry, Jack, I think you're confused. Conspiracy theorists meet down the hall.
Sasha Volkyeva: Really, Jack. This is starting to get ridiculous---
Adam Dick: DOUBLEYOU-TEE-EFF, YOU MOTHER FUCKER. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?
Jack Murphy: (smirking) That's a good one, I haven't heard that before Adam but really are you surprised at all? And Jessica (turns) now is not the time to play arrogant. How can you even stand here and be that way when the mere fact you're here is because of ME?
Jessica O’Grady: Maybe true but seriously this tired out shenanigans is getting ridiculous. My client...
Jack Murphy: Oh he's your client now is he?
Jessica O’Grady: (continuing) MY client has done nothing wrong to you to explain why you would take this measure. However, he is of course going to take this opportunity, isn't that right?
Adam Dick: Fuck no!
Jack Murphy: But I thought this is what you wanted, Adam? Rematch without Lavelle even in the picture---
Adam Dick: Shut up, Jack! You asked for this because you knew it would be easy pickings!
Adam is visibly upset, and Sasha places a hand on his back to console him. This of course makes Jack visibly upset.
Sasha Volkyeva: Don't say that, Adam, Twilight Of The Gods is less than a week away, we can't have the challenger doubting his abilities befor---
Adam Dick: WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT OF THAT GAY ASS FUCKING NAME?! THAT'S THE STUPIDEST SHIT I'VE EVER FUCKING---
Jessica O’Grady: ADAM!
Adam Dick: Sorry. I just...
Adam plummets on the couch next to Jess.
Adam Dick: I'm not ready for this... not again...
Jessica of course scoots closer to console him, and Sasha approaches, making an Adam-Sandwich of love. Murphy meanwhile looks on and you can visibly see the blood boiling up inside him at the sight.
Jack Murphy: (muttering) Not again... not fucking again...
Sasha Volkyeva: Excuse me Jack?
Jack Murphy: He's doing it again, he's sinking the two of you again into this! You're both being fooled!
Jessica O’Grady: Pull the other one Jack. You're getting what you want, why aren't you happy?
Jack Murphy: Because... because...
Jessica O’Grady: And you can't even give an answer. Nice one.
Adam Dick: I guess I have no choice. I'll have to step up and do this... and face you, Jack.
Jack Murphy: You will... and I'm going to get this whole charade out of you. This isn't you, this isn't the real you.
Sasha Volkyeva: You're right, Jack. YOU did this to him.
Jessica O’Grady: That belt has really changed you, Jack.
Jack Murphy: What?
Jessica O’Grady: You know exactly what I mean. You've become so... assured and arrogant with it round your waist and now you think that this is going to show once and for all your superiority over Adam. I thought you wanted wrestling to be the marquee?
Jack Murphy: I do... and I am!
Sasha Volkyeva: How?
Jack Murphy: I didn't have to defend this title you know? Did anyone else provide a challenger for me? No! So I went with the one person who would give me a run for my money.
Adam Dick: He's talking about me?
Jessica O’Grady: Jack, you did this for your own purposes. Nothing more. I'm disgusted with you.
Sasha Volkyeva: As am I.
Jack Murphy: Fine. Just be ready, because crawling is going to be the least of your worries when this is over.
The Bull abruptly turns and leaves the room.
Adam Dick: Am I the only one that thought it got A HELL of a lot warmer when he left? I think my balls grew a few sizes.
Do We Really Want This Rasclart As Our Relentless Champion?
FEATURING: VINCE JONES (PORTRAYED BY RED ROCK) AND JASMINE (PORTRAYED BY D'AVID BULRAT)
AUTHOR: JOSH YOUNG
The camera fades in and the screen is pitch black. An announcer with a gruff voice begins to speak over the darkness.
Announcer: He is one dumbass son of a bitch...
The camera cuts to “Vince Jones” who is basically Red Rock has his face covered in boot polish and his nose taped down to make him look more black. Next to him is D’avid with his pale ginger body wearing a purple sequin dress and a black wig.
Vince Jones: DAYUMMM! JASMINE! Ah can’ get da hang of this shizzle!
Vince Jones is sat behind a table with a pile of rocks, he pulls one across the table making a ear piercing scraping noise.
Vince Jones: One…One… One… Ah can’t figure it out BITCH what da furck comes after one?
Jasmine: It’s two Vince honey.
Vince Jones jumps up from the chair and gives Jasmine the taste of the back of his hand in a violent unprovoked attack.
Vince Jones: V. Jones knew that BITCH now go get me my cheerios woman!
Jasmine crawls away to get Vince Jones his beloved Cheerios.
Announcer: He is a man that won't hesitate to speak his mind...
The camera cuts to Vince Jones in a cinema with Jasmine just after watching Brokeback Mountain.
Vince Jones: DAAAYYYUM woman ya know dat movieee spoke to me bitch! Dat kinda thing is ma bread n’ butta ma nizzle! Ima gonna get ma “back broke” fo shizzle…and what not.
Random Person: * cough * WANKER * cough *
Clip 2
Vince Jones: People say V Jones is stupid! Well all ah have to say to them is I didn’ even GO to school so how can I be stupid if I don’t know what I’m suppos’ to learn tell me that BITCH.
Jasmine: Vince that didn’t make ANY sense.
Vince Jones: SHUT UP WOMAN!
Vince Jones gives Jasmine another taste of the back of his hand before crawling away out of shot.
Clip 3
Vince Jones: I ain’t ‘fraid to say it I ain’t ‘fraid to speak mah mind I love ma momma I still suckle on her big black ass titties!
…
Vince Jones: Actually it’s probably best we leave that one out…
Clip 4
Vince Jones: There is this crazy rumor that I… ‘scuse me.
Vince Jones wipes away a milk moustache from his upper lip as a large black woman lifts her top down in the background of the shot.
Vince Jones: …am scared to face Red Rock after his AWSOME performance in that match he beat me in. Well tha trooffff is d’is bitch! V. Jones ain’t scared on no one shamone!
Vince Jones’s Mum: VINCENT! Come here NOW!
Vince Jones: MUM I’m filming!
Vince Jones’s Mum: NOW!
Vince Jones mutters and turns the camera off and everything turns to black.
Announcer: Is this the type of man we want representing us in AWC as the Relentless champ?
A montage of Vince Jones picking his nose, struggling to tie his shoe laces and back handing Jasmine plays.
Announcer: Well… not really no…
Vince Jones looks at the camera and points at it.
Vince Jones: Where am I?
Mapleleaf/Neurotic vs Taylor/Wilson
STIPULATION: TANDEM
REFEREE: n/a
SUMMARISER: PIERRE HYDE
George Cassidy: Ladies and gentlemen, this was the point in Fresh!burst where you should have seen a some-way-short-of-awesome Tandem match, but due to an unfortunate incident earlier tonight…
Truth Waters: …involving all four of the match participants, some baby oil and a banana…
George Cassidy: …all have had their contracts terminated with immediate effect for gross misconduct.
Truth Waters: You would’n’t’ve thought it of Sam Taylor, would you? All innocent, Disney-loving…
George Cassidy: Sometimes it’s the quiet ones, Truth…
The pair nod solemnly, before cracking into laughter as we move to the big screen.
Wherein We Have No Title
FEATURING: ELLIS NASH AND ADAM DICK
AUTHORS: JOE SCHMIDT AND LIA
Brooding like the true hXc motherfucker that she is, Ellis Nash stalks around the hallway before her soooo0o0ooo dramatic match with Murphy, Romeo and Juliet, sucking on a cigarette with such ferocity that it would make the totally more-hXc Aimz cringe in her hXc gothic boots. Done with it, she flings the cigarette backwards where it lands in an impromptu trash can which promptly catches onto fire, and dozens of impromptu backstage staff promptly run over to it in order to put it out, wildly spanking the flames with their shirts. Just as she is about to turn a corner, Ellis bumps into something very large, and very hard.
Dick.
Adam Dick, that is.
Ellis Nash: Ow!
Adam Dick: Fuckass?! Oh, it's you.
Ellis Nash: And… you. You smell.
Adam Dick: Like the finest Chronic you've ever come across, maybe. But I don't expect someone as uptight as yourself to know anything about that.
Adam begins to continue down the hall... BUT GUESS WHAT!
Ellis Nash: Please. Marijuana is, like, my middle name. HAHA! I'm funny. Anyway, got any more?
Adam gives her the eye. You know. The EYE.
Adam Dick: …maybe. You blaze?
Ellis Nash: As if. I'm so hardcore I blaze every minute of every day. Except I've been in, like, total pot deprivation ever since I was fired from my job, and that's where I got all of my good shit from.
Nash tilts her head.
Ellis Nash: So? Can I have some?
Adam looks at her for a moment. Like, she really wants to blaze? Or is this some undercover trick? Plus, she's been all weird since he stopped pursuing her after the Chainz incident; maybe she'll chop his head off and steal his sack.
Either way, he takes a chance.
Adam Dick: Yeah, let's go out to my car.
Ellis is so giddy that she almost jumps and claps her hands in glee. But she doesn't, because that wouldn't be cool and indifferent, like Ellis is. So she nods, all cool and indifferent-like.
Ellis Nash: Alright. Let's go.
So they go. THE END, bitch!
Trivial Pursuit
FEATURING: GENERAL RAHMAN, CAPTAIN SULEIMON, DARCY CRISIS
AUTHORS: TOM HOLZERMAN AND NATHAN
Truth Waters: What the hell?
Captain Suleimon: The rules of such a match are simple. It is like an "I Quit" match in that you can only win via submission holds. However, there is a twist. Every time you are locked in a submission hold, you must answer a historical question in order to be able to escape. If you answer the question right, you shall earn your escape. But if you don't... you lose the match!
The crowd gasps then starts to buzz again.
Captain Suleimon: There is no possible way that Darcy Crisis will survive, not when he cannot cheat the way he could outside a match setting. I would understand if he did not accept my challenge, but if he were a true man...
Cue up "Open Your Eyes" by the Guano Apes. The crowd provides a NUCLEAR pop, expecting Darcy to come out and give Suleimon a brutal beating… but he is nowhere to be seen. The crowd is slightly hushed for a moment as Suleimon grins.
Captain Suleimon: You see? Not a true man at---
Suddenly, Darcy Crisis appears on the big screen.
Darcy Crisis: SURPRISE!
The crowd seems shocked at first at Darcy’s interjection, but soon pops for him yet again. Suleimon himself jumps as if a gun went off.
Darcy Crisis: Sorry I couldn’t make it out there to talk to you in person Sully, but SOME of us have bigger and better things to do tonight. But I’m sitting back here getting ready for my match tonight, I’ve got the monitor on… and I hear you challenge me to some kind of Trivial Punishment match?!
George Cassidy: Sounds to me like ol’ Darcy has a few reservations about standing up to Captain Suleimon…
Truth Waters: Shh! Let the man talk.
Darcy Crisis: I don’t know what the hell your problem is, Sully… but I will say this: The only thing that would be more fun than beating your ASS at Twilight Of The Gods… would be beating your ass AND besting you in the world of useless history trivia. You better study your ass off, Mr. Suleimon, because there’s something you overlooked… I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it... I’m going to beat your ass on pay-per-view! See you there…
“Open Your Eyes” hits again as the crowd once more pops for the blockbuster match that will ensue at Twilight Of The Gods. Suleimon remains in the ring, repeatedly shouting “Prepare to be humiliated!” although it’s almost completely drowned out by the stylings of the Guano Apes as well as the raucous crowd.
Truth Waters: Well it looks like we’re going to see these two clash in just a few short days, live on pay-per-view!
George Cassidy: Yeah, and don’t be surprised if you see Crisis show up with a cheat sheet tattooed all over his body. It’s the only way he has a chance.
Truth Waters: Well lest you forget Cassidy, not only did Darcy essentially win Suleimon’s Knowledge Challenge, he’s quite the accomplished submission wrestler. Don’t be surprised if Darcy Crisis is the one who stays on the offensive, forcing “Sully” to answer most of the questions.
George Cassidy: Dear God, I can’t believe we’re even reduced to watching these two trade pointless trivia. Lou Thesz must be rolling over in his grave…
Truth Waters: Who knows? It could be a wrestling classic, and we might even learn something! I myself can’t wait. Stay tuned, folks!
Pleasure And Pain vs Collision Course
STIPULATION: DUO TAG
REFEREE: SELENA SUMNER
SUMMARISER: THE COLBY
Things get started with Jiro Sennosuke facing off against Tiara Belle Russell as their partners, Joey Six and Wayne Russell, take their respective places in opposite corners as referee Selena Summer signals for the opening bell. Sennosuke blasts Russell with a series of knife-edge chops before Russell halts his momentum with a quick thumb to the eyes. She falls Sennosuke with a leg sweep and then follows up with a running leg drop off the ropes. Russell hustles over and climbs the nearest turnbuckle, hoping to take complete control with a top rope flying body press, but her efforts are in vain as Jiro knocks her out of the air with an impressive dropkick counter. Picking Russell up off the ground, Sennosuke tags in Joey Six and Irish whips Russell into the ropes. Coming back across the ring, Russell leaps over Joey Six only to be caught with a leaping leg lariat from Sennosuke. Joey Six sizes up Russell as she slowly picks herself up off the canvas, setting her up for a big superkick, but he’s too slow as Russell somersaults under his superkick attempt and tags in her partner, and husband, Wayne Russell. The massive Russell runs right through Joey Six with a charging shoulderblock and continues right across the ring to land another shoulderblock on Sennosuke, knocking him from the ring apron straight into the metal guardrail that lines the front row seats. Sennosuke’s head bounces painfully off the railing as he crumples to the ground outside the ring.
Inside the ring, Wayne Russell turns to face Joey Six, who is just picking himself off the mat. Hearing the big man coming, Joey ducks Russell’s clothesline attempt and shoots himself off the opposite ropes. Coming back, J-6 goes for a spinning headscissors on Russell, which he then turns into a devastating Tornado DDT. Sensing the chance to score an upset victory, Six throws himself on Russell.
ONE!
TWO!
But the count is stopped short by Tiara Belle, who lands a vicious kick to the back of Joey Six’s head. Both members of Pleasure and Pain now take turns stomping down Joey Six, who is helpless to defend himself.
Suddenly, however, a loud commotion resounds forth from the entryway and as the sound of a chair shot is heard, Trent Marshall falls through the curtain to the entrance ramp. Now rolling down the ramp, Mr. Marshall is followed by a furious AgentDash, who emerges from the curtain holding a newly dented folding chair.
In the ring, the Russells now turn back to Joey Six and land tandem kicks to his midsection. Tiara Belle jumps up on the nearest turnbuckle and prepares to land her half of Pleasure and Pain’s finisher In Denial as Wayne Russell Irish whips J-6 into the ropes.
Slamming the chair down, AgentDash sprints down the ramp and nails the now standing Marshall with an impact knee to the face. The momentum of the collision knocks Marshall into the ring apron and ropes, throwing Tiara Belle from her perch into the same guard railing that earlier claimed her opponent Jiro Sennosuke.
As Russell launches J-6 into the air with a back body drop, he hears Tiara Belle’s scream cut short as she crashes into the metal security barrier. Turning to his now unconscious partner, Wayne ignores J-6 and slides out of the ring to tend to his beloved wife. Inside the ring, Joey Six gingerly rises to his feet, but is suddenly blindsided by Dash’s Agent Kick — a jumping thrust kick to the shoulder — which sends him stumbling into the rope as Selena Summer signals for a no-contest as a result of the damage to both teams by the interference. AgentDash now runs and leapfrogs over J-6’s shoulders, but as his feet land on the top rope in an effort to land his springboard finisher Star Struck, Dash is blasted by a chairshot to the face. As Dash falls back limply to the canvas, a bloodied Mr. Marshall slides into the ring and defiantly rises to his feet, holding a now doubly-dented steel chair. Throwing the chair down, Marshall picks up AgentDash and lifts him up, looking to land his signature Hawkeye Driver on the steel chair. As Marshall takes a few steps back from the chair, however, a swarm of AWC security finally hit the ring and snatch AgentDash down from Marshall’s shoulders, having determined this brawl was about to go too far. That, or they weren’t paying attention for the first few minutes. As security forces both Mr. Marshall and AgentDash to the back, the medical staff hustles out to tend to the still lifeless Jiro Sennosuke and Tiara Belle Russell as their partners Joey Six and Wayne Russell look on helplessly.
Back To School?
FEATURING: RED ROCK, D'AVID, STAFF MEMBERS, VINCE JONES
AUTHORS: JAY AND JOSH YOUNG
The camera slowly fades into the hallway where Red Rock can be seen marching along giggling like a naughty school boy after insulting Vince Jones and beating him in his own game of mocking others and to his left if D’avid Bulrat his manager, still dressed as Jasmine.
Red Rock: You know D’avid, you don’t have to be dressed up like that anymore.
D’avid: Heh, I know! OoooOOoh!
All of a sudden an AWC staff member spots Red Rock and rushes towards him.
Staff Member: Red Rock!
Red Rock stops in his tracks and looks over at at the staff member.
Red Rock: Yes?
Staff Member: Ummm... it turns out that Vince Jones has a message for you.
Red Rock: (in confusion) A message?
Staff Member: Yes. He's currently taken over the big screen ranting and raving about how he wants to talk to you and talk to you right now.
Red Rock: What?
Staff Member: (shrugs) I'm as confused as you are. I have no clue what he wants with you.
Red Rock shakes his head in disappointment.
Red Rock: What does that ‘clart have to say to me now?
Red Rock quickly makes his way down the hallway and towards the entrance curtains where he is greeted by another staff member. In the arena a loud chorus of boos can be heard as Vince's fury-filled voice can be heard blaring through the arena.
Staff Member #2: Vince Jones has been looking for you, Red Rock.
Red Rock: Yeah, alright love I know that.
Red Rock is handed a mic by the staff member. Red Rock pushes past the staff member and through the curtains. As he enters the arena the crowd begins to cheer wildly for the Anti Hero.
Vince Jones: Where the hell that bitch made at, huh? Where his punk ass at? You people out there oughta feel real stupid right now. Your lil "hardcore" hero nowhere to be found. V. Jones requests for his punk ass to show to talk a lil business and shit and the punk gonna punk out!
Red Rock begins walking down the aisle way, turns around, and looks up at the screen where we see Vince Jones glaring back in frustration and rage. Red Rock continues backtracking towards the ring.
Truth Waters: Finally! Red Rock is here to set that Vince Jones straight.
George Cassidy: We'll see about that.
Red Rock: Well I never, if it isn't Vince Jones. What? Are you angry about my little ad from earlier?
Vince Jones is seen on the screen shaking his head.
Vince Jones: Yeah. That shit was real cute, real cute, bitch!
Red Rock: Thought you'd enjoy it. So, what is it? Why are you calling me out? And why can't you be a man about this whole thing and confront me like one? Why hide on that big screen?
Vince Jones: Son, you don't wanna see V. Jones down there right now. There ain't no tellin' what he'd do to you tonight; but, that's beside the point...
Red Rock reaches the ring and slides inside. He stands to his feet and looks up at Vince.
Vince Jones: ...No matta how much you run yo mouth you, V. Jones, and all those damn people out there know you got gold that don't belong to you.
Red Rock: (laughing) What do you mean I have gold that doesn't belong to me? You talking about the Relentless title belt? Pffft! What makes you think you're so qualified to wear my belt? Just because you're this uber "violent guy"? The only thing that's violent about you is the stench that comes out of your mouth along with that hot air whenever you open your mouth. Oh, wait. That's not violent, that's foul.
Vince Jones: See, there you go with the jokes and shit! And no, you ain't got the credentials to fill out that belt, son!
Red Rock looks around at the crowd with a rather smug expression on his face.
Red Rock: You hear that people? He said credentials. Is it just me or does it surprise that he even has such a word in his vocabulary?
The crowd begins chanting Red Rock's name and Vince becomes furious by the reaction as well as Red Rock's snide remark.
Vince Jones: Fuck you, mah fucka! V picked up a book here and there when he was locked upstate back in the day! Now V been hearin' all yo shit about V. Jones bein' an idiot and shit! What? You think you smarty art or somethin', huh? Well, if you so smart V gotta question for ya. Can you whup V's ass?
Red Rock: What? You challenging me to a match?
Vince Jones: (nodding) Yeah! V challengin' yo ass to a match at Twilight Of The Gods. Oh, and don't forget to bring along that lil Relentless title strap of yours too. Have that damn thing shined up real nice cuz The Violence wanna be able to see his reflection on that bitch when he kissin' while standin' ova yo busted up body, ya heard!?
The crowd begins booing.
Red Rock: Oh, is that so? You want me to shine up my Relentless title? Well, I'll do that just for you, Vince; but, keep this in mind. I'm going to be the only staring back at a reflection while kissing it. Just wanted to clear that up for you. And I suppose you've got a special hardcore match in mind. Well, seeing how you're this big time thug and all I guess you'll be challenging me to a Street Fight. I mean that's how predictable you are to me, a simple match for a simple mind. Not that it’ll make a difference you can throw any gay stipulation you have I’ll still win!
A smug expression crosses Vince Jones face and he begins laughing to himself.
Vince Jones: Ya know The Violence way too well, lil Red. That's the first idea that came to V. Jones' mind and all... but it ain't happenin'. (shakes his head) Nah. V took to heart all that shit about how much of an idiot you think he is and V decided to shake things up a bit. V been in first blood matches, cage matches, boiler room brawls, warehouse matches, barbed wire bat matches and shit throughout his whole career. So, fuck all that shit! At Twilight Of The Gods V taken yo punk ass to school! 'Nuff said!
Red Rock hears this and throws his head back and roars with laughter to the point of nearly falling down on the mat.
Red Rock: That is so cliché. Vince you really need to be a little more creative. I mean, how many people out here saw that little quip coming? “oooh I’m going to take you to school”… Sure Vince, whatever.
Vince Jones: (laughs and shakes his head) You just ain't gettin' it, Red. And V thought you were supposed to be smart one here. Well, how 'bout The Violence paint this picture a lil clearer so yo bitch ass and can understand.
All of a sudden the screen goes black and Red Rock and the rest of the audience in the arena are a bit confused.
Truth Waters: What's going on? Where'd he go?
George Cassidy: I have no clue.
Red Rock looks all about the scene preparing for the worst.
Red Rock: Alright. Where'd you go you, pussy cat? Where are you hiding now?
Vince Jones: Right here, bitch!
Red Rock turns and his jaw drops in disbelief.
Truth Waters: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Is that what I think it is?
George Cassidy: Yes! I believe so!
The camera turns towards the entranceway where a large yellow school bus can be seen slowly rolling in from the side entrance. Standing on top of the hood of the school bus is 'The Violence' Vince Jones who has his arms raised in the air flashing the hand sign of his old New York City gang. In his left hand he is wielding his trusty Louisville slugger baseball bat.
Vince Jones: You thought V was kiddin' around here? Hell no! When V says he gonna take yo ass to school he means that shit! V literally gonna take yo bitch ass to school. The location is East Hartford High School, in a Schoolhouse Brawl! Guess we could call this lil match a "Back To School" match or somethin'. Got a nice ring to it and shit. First one to get the three count wins! Easy as that. V. Jones may not be the most book smart cat in the game but this bully 'bout ready to punk yo ass from corner to corner to the schoolyard of that damn school! Get it? Got it?! Good!
Red Rock: A Schoolhouse Brawl? Well, that's a first. And I’m not talking about you setting foot in a school. Well, if that's what you want then so be it.
Vince Jones nods as the crowd goes wild for Red Rock.
Vince Jones: Good! That's what V wanted to hear. Well, V'll be seein' yo punk ass in about a week. Oh, and don't forget to bring yo apple, son. The teacher 'bout to educate yo ass in Hardcore 101, bitch! At Twilight of the Gods you lookin' to get you punk ass... silenced!
The school bus slowly pulls off and exits the arena and a chorus of boos begins to ring out through the arena as Vince Jones mocks the crowd. Red Rock can still be seen in the ring literally still confused over the challenge he just received.
Truth Waters: A Schoolhouse Brawl? In all my years commentating in this business I've never heard of a Schoolhouse Brawl. And to see the man who issued the challenges makes it even more odd. Who would ever think that a man like Vince Jones would ever be caught dead in a schoolhouse? What has to be going through the mind of Red Rock after receiving such an unorthodox challenge?
George Cassidy: I don't know. Either the man has totally lost his mind, is totally stupid, or he is truly a genius and we're all the idiots. This has to be totally up Red Rock's alley. Vince Jones doesn't know his way around a school.
Truth Waters: I'd like to go with option A there, Cassidy. And yes, you bring up a good point there. Vince Jones was probably always skipping school as a kid in New York. I don't know. I think Vince may have made a mistake here. Red Rock could very well be leaving with the belt around his waist at Twilight Of The Gods. We'll see.
George Cassidy: Yes. We'll see.
A Hero By Any Of His Names Would Smell Defeat
FEATURING: AGENTDASH, MADDY ESTELLE, MR. MARSHALL
AUTHOR: TRENT
Backstage, AgentDash storms through the halls, looking to be found, and hoping to run into an AWC interviewer. Like a man with a grudge he spotted Maddy Estelle down the hallway, and dashed – no pun intended – in her direction.
Dash: Excuse me, Maddy?
Maddy Estelle: Yes...
Cedric Riley read the blank expression on Maddy’s face to be that she had no idea who he was. It didn’t come as a surprise to Dash, he seems to have flown under everybody’s radar.
Dash: I was wondering… could I do an interview?
Maddy Estelle: Um… okay?
Dash: Great. Let’s get this camera rolling; I’ve been waiting a long time to say this…
Maddy gets the thumbs up from the cameraman that is with her, and commences the interview.
Maddy Estelle: Okay. I’m here with… sorry, I seem to have drawn a blank on your name.
Dash: That’s real cute, Ms. Estelle, and actually one of the subjects I wanted to touch on in front of a live audience. I’ve heard all the gags about “Charles Kensrue” or “AgentDash” or “Cedric Riley”, and some of them are quite original, honestly, but the novelty has worn itself out. My background seems to get lost in the middle of all the humor and insults, but that fails to worry me compared to my current situation in the Atlantic Wrestling Club…
Maddy Estelle: And what current situation would this be, Mr. Kensrue?
Dash: Aha… again, I am a victim of “witty” one-liners. But I remain unfazed. I am more concerned about how my wrestling presence in this club seems to have gone unnoticed. I have found myself wrestling in the first match of most events, and losing! That’s quite pathetic, and very dissatisfying to a spirited competitor like myself. Take note, however, that that’s all about to change, Maddy.
Maddy Estelle: Sorry, what’s all about to change?
Dash: Never mind, Maddy, I never did think you were the sharpest tool in the shed---
Maddy Estelle: Excuse me!?
Dash: Like I was saying, the whole aspect of “losing” has also worn out its welcome in my life, and the turnaround begins now. I intend to slowly crawl up the ranks in preparation for the Zero 2 Hero. All the remarks from wrestlers alike myself inducing that they are the next Zero 2 Hero is touching, really, but add my name to the list of hopefuls for the tournament.
Maddy Estelle: And that’s all you wanted to say?
Dash: Actually, yes. But now that you mention it, I have something to get off my chest about one of AWC’s newest roster additions. Call it a “beef” if you will, but my partner from last week’s Fresh!, “Mr.” Trent Marshall, was truly unimpressive. Everybody saw what happened. It was on live television, for Christ sakes, where I was embarrassed by this Marshall character in the first match of the night, by two rookies! I’m trying to build a reputation here, and I lose a match due to a miscue by Marshall? From here on out, I refuse any tag match with a partner that does not have approval by me!
Maddy Estelle: I don’t know if that’s allowed, Dash…
Dash: Well it should be! Excuse me if I seem a little eccentric today. Too much caffeine. But it matters little. Trent Marshall, consider this a warning that if you ever cross paths with me again, I have a score to settle!
Instantaneously, Trent Marshall enters the scene with a shove to his last-week-partner. I’m convinced; the timing in the AWC is brilliant.
Mr. Marshall: Funny, Kensrue, or whatever your name is these days, I was just thinking the same thing!
Dash: I don’t have time for this, I have go see Pearl. I have a score to settle with him as well… booking me with this jackass.
And Dash is gone, leaving Mr. Marshall in a state of fury.
Garbage Bag Johnny vs Sgt. Jacobs
STIPULATION: SINGLES
REFEREE: JOSEPH REID
AUTHOR: ZACH BOLDEN
“My Name is Mud” comes over the loudspeakers and the AWC newcomer Garbage Bag Johnny comes from behind the curtains. Brown strobe lights blanket the entire arena as this six foot one inch frame walks down the ramp to the arena. The fans give a mixed reaction for the ‘Dirtiest Dude in the AWC’. GBJ takes a running head start and does a front hand spring flip onto the ring apron demonstrating his agility. GBJ sits on the top turnbuckle of his corner waiting as his opponent makes his way to the ring.
‘Sweet Child o’ Mine’ begins playing and Sgt. Jacobs makes the usual entrance with his hands raised high showing off his muscular physique. He hops onto the ring apron and instantly meets GBJ’s eyes with an intense focus. He ducks through the middle ropes and referee Joseph Reid calls for the bell.
GBJ still perched on the top of the turnbuckle simply sits and waits. Jacobs begins taunting his tag partner from a week prior and GBJ’s response to the Sergeant’s mocking was simple…a swift missile drop kick to the chest. Jacobs didn’t see it coming and slams hard into the mat. GBJ goes to assist Jacobs up and the Sgt. responds with a strong uppercut to GBJ’s chin. GBJ falls back into the ropes and on his return Jacobs rocks GBJ’s head back with a clothesline. Jacobs arrogantly grabs GBJ’s long ebony hair and stands him to his feet. GBJ hits Jacobs with a quick jab and a spinning elbow to Jacob’s head. Jacobs falls back and GBJ springs off the middle rope and lands a hard flying knee to Jacob’s chest. GBJ quickly stands Jacobs up and quickly does a snap dragon suplex. Jacobs back lands hard on the mat. GBJ capitalizes on the opportunity and locks in a D.C. Crab. Jacobs yelps out in pain but luckily he quickly grabs the ropes. Reid breaks up the hold and GBJ gets Jacobs to his feet. Jacobs quickly knees GBJ in the ribs and rakes GBJ’s head down hard with a snap DDT. Jacobs picks GBJ up and whips him into the ropes and hoists GBJ high in the air and slams him down hard with a spine buster. Jacobs picks GBJ up and tosses him into the turnbuckle. Jacobs takes a running head start and goes leaps through the air… GBJ grabs Reid and pulls him over as a shield. Jacobs lands his spear on the referee! Jacobs stands up and is kicked in the midsection by GBJ. Johnny tries the Garbage Disposal but Jacobs easily over powers him and lifts his foot and smashes GBJ’s testicles with his boot. GBJ absorbs the shock and hits the mat hard. Jacobs starts rallying the crowd… he picks GBJ up and locks him in position for the M203! Jacobs looks at the crowd as all their attention turns to the ramp. Victor Cage comes hauling ass from behind the curtain carrying a lead pipe. Jacobs lifts GBJ in the air and lands him hard with the first German suplex. He stands him up for the second, hoists him in the air and Cage annihilates Jacobs over the head with the lead pipe. Cage smashes him in the knee caps two times and rolls out of the ring, and slowly begins walking up the ramp. GBJ wakes the referee, picks the unconscious Jacobs up onto his shoulders and smashes him hard with the Tragically Hip-buster. Johnny stands over the lifeless body and arrogantly puts his boot on Jacobs chest. Reid counts… ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Reid holds GBJ’s hand in the air for the victory. GBJ looks down at Cage as he slowly walks through the curtains. “My Name is Mud” starts playing, GBJ flips over the top rope and walks backstage.
h4wt wr3stL1ng 3r0tiCa
FEATURING: ADAM DICK, ELLIS NASH
AUTHORS: JOE SCHMIDT AND LIA
Adam Dick: This is called Kawasaki Green. See how it doesn't even have red hairs or dark spots?
Ellis Nash: It looks like cat piss.
Adam Dick: No, that's this.
Adam holds up a different bag of weed than the one he is showing to Ellis, allowing her eyes to compare the different brands of pot.
Adam Dick: Shit'll have your eyes lookin' Chinese.
Ellis Nash: Uh huh.
Adam Dick: And I have this third strain...
Adam leans over to reach in the back, shuffling through a mountain of dirty and old clothes to find his hidden bag.
Adam Dick: This is Pineapple Punch. It's a sativa plant; that means it makes you a bit groggy and tired. There are also plants called Indica's, those give you a good body high and are great for your stomach.
Nash shifts in the passenger's seat, observing with mild interest.
Ellis Nash: What about Durban? Do you have any?
Adam gets a bit excited at the prospect.
Adam Dick: No! Fuck! My dealer said he had that but I wanted to get this instead and well I didn't want to blow all of my money on pot since I've already spent about eight thousand dollars what were we talking about again?
Ellis tilts her head, thinking.
Ellis Nash: Um...
She wrinkles her nose.
Ellis Nash: Uh...
She rubs the back of her neck.
Ellis Nash: Oh yeah! You were talking about pot…
She giggles, cheerleader fashion.
Ellis Nash: Now that I think about it… you know so much about the science of marijuana. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were a botanist!
Adam Dick: Stop patronizing me, woman! This is my way of life.
She rolls her eyes, but can't help but grin as he looks through his clothes again. Ellis wants him.
She want. it. so. bad.
She want it so bad that when Dick's leaning over into his backseat again, she can barely contain herself when his shirt rides up his back, revealing a heavenly canvas of lavish flesh. Oh gosh, her nips are getting so hard guys......
Adam doesn't know what to think.
Adam Dick: Jesus Christ I think your boobs are growing. I mean, this pot looks really good.
He reaches into the back again, a bit nervous but careful not to lean too closely to Ellis who is making more than an effort to be noticed.
By the way, mission accomplished.
Adam Dick: Th-this is my Buh-buh-boo-BLUEBERRY shit. Ahem, tit-has about tuh-twenty percent T-T-TH-sa-C levels where most chronic's aaaah-have ten or titwelve.
He tries to keep his hands on his pot, but looks up at Ellis' face because his curiosity had gotten the better of his nerves.
Where Ellis is sucking on her fingertip oh-so-seductively, tongue lapping at the pad, left eye folded in a sexy lil' wink.
Adam Dick: HolyshitcanImakeoutwithyou? I mean... Holy shit, may I make out with you?
In response, Ellis cutely bites her bottom lip before growling and launching herself at the former TA champ (pause in obligatory memorable silence, shed a tear perhaps) and proceeds to make the fuck out with him.
And boy do they ever make out. Their tongues are like galactic warriors arranged in fisticuffs while bathing in saliva of love as they suck each other's faces. There's even some fondlage going on. Oh yeah, baby, grab that crotch.
Adam Dick: Stop, that tickles.
Ellis extracts her foot from Adam's crotch, giggling against his lips, before totally mashing her mouth into his again. Their limbs are tangled like the webs that their lives weave. At some point, Ellis manuevers herself into Dicky's lap.
Adam Dick: I've wanted you for so long. This is, like, one of my shower fantasies come true!
And then he digs his face in her boobs. Passionately, of course, because a man has to keep the lady in the mood if he's going to act a bit selfish. It's ettiquite or something.
To see Ellis moan/groan/ughhyeah in pleasure, press F6.
To see the bare chests of Ellis and Adam pressed together like the most finest of paintings, press F11.
To see Adam whip out his monstrous love stick, press F2.
Fast forward a steamy love session later where Adam and Ellis, both tussled and out of breath, sit in their respective seats, smoking dat Kawasaki shit.
Ellis Nash: What kind of pot is this again?
Adam Dick: I fucking forgot. All I can think about is how making out with you is, like... what did King Tut say? Oh yeah, "That shit was ill." Second thought, that might have been the D.O.C.
Ellis stares at him.
Ellis Nash: You're weird. I like it. Let's have sex again.
She's about to throw herself at Adam before he stops her.
Adam Dick: I think you have a match to go to.
How's that for being the responsible one for a first?
Adam Dick: You've got to shove Aimz' head in a blender for me, and then kick Jack Murphy's tongue through both of his eyeballs. That's for me too.
Ellis Nash: My pleasure. I'll blend Murphy's eyeballs with Aimz's hideous Canadian face and serve it to Darcy Crisis as a protein shake. Faggot.
Ellis checks her lipstick in the rearview and smooths her palms over her hair.
Ellis Nash: You've got your rematch against Jack Murphy, I hear. You should be happy.
Adam Dick: I just fucked the girl who's mental-picture I've been masturbating to for the last three months – it don't get much happier than that.
Done with her make-up check, Ellis leans back into her seat. She smiles at Adam, a twinkle in her eye.
Ellis Nash: I could get used to it. You know, FYI.
Adam Dick: Like, for real and shit? You want to, like, uh... go steady and shit?
Ellis giggles again, shrugging innocently.
Ellis Nash: Okay.
Adam Dick: UBERSWEET! Maybe now I'll have the confidence to beat Jack Murphy. HAH.
Ellis Nash: Yeah, right. HOKAI.
Adam Dick: Pfffft. I'll fucking beat his bitch ass. You don't think I've been working on this since day one?
Ellis Nash: Hmmmmwhat do you mean?
Adam Dick: What if I told you, that all along, I've been meaning to lose?
The Bloody Long Summary,or Murphy/Aimz vs Crisis/Nash
STIPULATION: DUO TAG
REFEREE: RICHIE TRAVIS
AUTHOR: JEREMY J.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally made it to the main event in Fresh!burst. How this match came about was the mind manipulation of Darcy Crisis, signing his supposed girlfriend, Aimz, teaming her up with the Transatlantic champion, “The Bull” Jack Murphy. With that set, Darcy is left to pick a duo partner, turning to Ellis Nash, knowing the history between Nash and Aimz and Nash and the Transatlantic champion. Since these four superstars are involved in this week’s burst. what will it mean in the future? Will these four combatants have some sort of involvement in the up and coming March pay-per-view, Twilight of the Gods? AWC fans won’t find out until the March the 24th.
Now with that introduction out of the way, let’s witness some wrestling action, shall we?
The lights dim somewhat. Short strums of the guitar vibrate through the speakers and the audience, recognizing the familiar tune almost immediately, begin to boo their asses off. By this time, “Club Slut” by Hot Action Cop has already kicked into its simple drum and guitar beat.
You say you want you a club slut who got the big fat ass,
The kind that got them DSL’s and shake her booty fast.
Pushing the curtains aside in an almost irritated manner, Ellis Nash stalks onto the stage, looking at the disparaging audience with a disgusted frown. Looking at her nails, Ellis inspects them tenderly before flashing her middle finger high to the now chafed crowd of cows. As the song’s chorus drowns out their disapproving chants, two pyros from either side of the stage shoot off towards the ceiling, white in color.
“From Cortland, New York, weighing 117 pounds... ELLIS NASH” announced by James Brunt.
Get up on the dance floor and now shake your butt,
Cause you know you’re getting in on with the club slut,
You know you like it fast,
She left you on your ass.
Pompously swaggering down the ramp way, Ellis ignores the women hurling various obscenities at her (by hurling them right back) and the numerous, sweaty hands of teenage boys itching for a touch of heavenly Nash. Stopping at the bottom, Ellis looks to both of her sides, narrowing her eyes with a shit-eating grin before rolling into the ring. Ellis, once inside the ring, uses only her upper arms to propel herself to her feet. With a broad smile, Ellis slaps James Brunt’s shoulder mockingly before heading off to her corner of the ring.
Next, Ellis Nash’s partner, Darcy Crisis, is the next to come out...
Hide your face forever...
Dream and search forever...
A heavy guitar riff hits, marking the opening of “Open Your Eyes” by the Guano Apes. Darcy bursts through the curtain with his arm raised high. He points at the fans who give him the biggest reactions, trying to get everybody fired up.
“Her partner, from East Bay, California, weighing 227 pounds... DARCY CRISIS!” announced by James Brunt.
Darcy slides into the ring under the ropes, taking in the fan reaction for a few moments before climbing the turnbuckle, thumping his chest twice and throwing both arms into the air.
Now with the tandem team of Darcy Crisis and Ellis Nash now in the ring, they wait for their opponents.
“24” by Jem plays as Amy Campbell, better known as Aimz, walks down to the ring as the fans give out a mixed reaction.
“From Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, weighting 147 pounds... she is ‘The Red Raver...’ AIMZ!” announced by James Brunt.
She slides into the ring, looks over at Darcy Crisis coldly as she goes to her corner, climbs it, strikes a pose and jumps off, waiting for her partner. Heel commentator, George Cassidy, complains about how Aimz victory over Mikey O’Reilly was a fluke, but Truth Waters shuts him up with a vexed look.
The clinical riff of “Burn” by Throwdown fills the arena and begins an extended loop as the house lights dim to a dull, crimson red. As the flick of the lighter is heard around the arena and the riff explodes, so too does the entrance into a burning inferno. Through the flames emerges “The Bull” Jack Murphy. Wearing the coveted Transatlantic title around his waist, he walks down to the ring, hearing a lively buzz from the fans.
“Her Tag Team partner, from Kildare, Ireland, weighing 278 pounds... he is the AWC Transatlantic champion... ‘THE BULL’ JACK MURPHY!” announced by James Brunt.
Okay... all four combatants in the ring, all trying to discuss strategy amongst one another, but it proves to be difficult. The men decide to step outside, letting the women start off the match. Both Aimz and Ellis Nash circle around the ring, sizing each other up. “The Red Raver” goes for a collar and elbow tie-up, but Nash puts a stop to that with a knee right in the gut, followed by a hair toss, sending Aimz to the mat front first.
Aimz is slow to get up, gut Ellis Nash grabs a handful of hair, lifts her to her feet and then tosses her again by her hair with a hair toss! Ellis is feeling good about herself, dominating that whore and pulling hair out of her scalp. She notices that Darcy Crisis wants a tag in. She shrugs her shoulders, tags in “D to the C” and Crisis is in the ring, going for the first pin fall, but Aimz won’t be besmirched that easily, kicking out before the count was administered.
Darcy Crisis, “The Darcinator” himself, picks up his “girlfriend,” whipping her into the ropes. He goes for a Clothesline, but Aimz is smarter than that, flying at him with a Flying Forearm, then kips up afterward. Saving her energy later on in the match (doesn’t want to blow this, no matter how much she wants to tear Crisis a new asshole), she tags in her undesirable partner for the evening, the current Transatlantic champion, Jack “The Bull” Murphy.
Jack Murphy is raring to go, charging at Darcy Crisis like a big, Irish bull, but Crisis evades the 280-pound TA champion, taking him down with a Drop Toehold, then executes an STF. I mean, hey, if this move worked to retain the TA title from Mike Wade, then perhaps this specific hold can beat “The Bull,” maybe giving himself a shot at the Transatlantic title down the line. Using his experience - okay, his brute strength, fuck all y’all - he powers out of the STF and gets to his feet. “D Masta C” nods at the Transatlantic champion and continues the match.
Jack Murphy walks over to the smaller opponent, about to grab him, but Darcy is quicker than the 280-pound champion, going low with a Dropkick into Murphy’s right kneecap. He is about to lock in a Sharpshooter, maybe a Figure-four Leg-lock, but Murphy overpowers the smaller Matt Hardy wannabe and slowly gets to his feet. He maybe in good shape, but Murphy’s pushing 40, and getting up to your feet sometimes can be an issue. The commentators make some comments, Truth Waters tells it like it is, facing it up in the commentary, while George Cassidy makes some heel remarks and rebukes.
Shaking his right knee, Jack Murphy, the current AWC Transatlantic champion, keeps his focus on Darcy Crisis, who can’t seem to bring the 6’5” 280-pound champion. “The Darcinator” goes for another low Dropkick, but “The Bull” is ready for him this time. He sidesteps the Dropkick, grabs Crisis when he hits the ground, picks him up and throws him over his head with an innovative suplex. Murphy lands on his back hard, clutching at it, as pain registers on his face. Murphy stalks his opponent, picks him up, and whips him into the ropes. Afterwards, Murphy drills his shoulder into Crisis’ solar plexus, taking him down with a massive Spear. He goes for a cover, but only gets a two-count as stated by referee Richie Travis.
Jack Murphy picks up Darcy Crisis by his waist, squeezing hard with a Bear Hug. Crisis screams in pain. Without thinking, he does a bell clap, clapping Murphy’s head. Much to his surprise, the Transatlantic champion lets go of “D to the C.” He goes into his corner and tags in Ellis Nash. She is severely pissed off that she has to go toe-to-toe against the hulking Murphy, and reluctantly goes into the after maliciously chews her partner out.
Ellis Nash demands to face Aimz in the ring. Jack Murphy’s rebuttal... a stiff Lariat, flipping Nash for a loop. The crowd responds with cheers. Heel commentator George Cassidy complains about Jack Murphy’s Lariat, that it could’ve broken Ellis’ poor neck, but Truth Waters, being himself, marks out to Murphy’s powerful Lariat. “The Bull” picks up Nash, presses her over her head and slams her down with a Gorilla Press Slam, and the fans are on their feet, enjoying the pain Nash is going through. Of course, George Cassidy complains about it. Truth Waters simply ignores the old man and continues to do his job.
Amy Campbell, otherwise known as Aimz, “The Red Raver,” “Slut,” “Whore,” what have you, wants in on the action. The Transatlantic champion, Jack Murphy, tags in his partner. Aimz enters the ring, about to throw down with Ellis Nash. Nash is about to get to get to her feet - well, sitting up constitutes to “almost getting to your feet” - but Aimz puts a stop to that, and both of her feet in Nash’s face with a Dropkick. She goes for a cover, but Nash kicks about before two. Aimz grabs a handful of hair, twists it in her hand and executes a Snapmare Takedown, wrapping her free arm around Ellis’ throat with a Rear Naked Choke.
Darcy Crisis comes in, kicks Aimz in the back of her head, which eventually breaks up the choke. The kick doesn’t seem to phase “The Red Raver,” instead, it aggravates her. She gets to her feet, looks up at Crisis, and throws a hard reverse spinning roundhouse kick that would’ve dislodged Crisis’ head form his shoulders. Crisis oversells the kick, goes over the top rope and hits the floor hard, twitching like a retard on the outside.
Unbeknownst to Aimz, Ellis Nash quickly rolls up “The Red Raver,” grabbing a handful of... thong? Aimz does wear a skirt whilst she wrestles, right? Anyway, Nash grabs a handful of something, and almost puts Aimz away if it wasn’t for Jack Murphy, the current Transatlantic champion, breaking up the count. Murphy goes back to his respected corner, Nash looks over at “The Bull,” shooting her mouth off at him, throwing every obscenity in the book, but Aimz does the same thing to Nash, rolling her up with a schoolgirl, grabbing a handful of tights, and presses all of her 150 pounds on Nash’s tall, lanky body, but Nash manages to kick out before the three.
Both ladies - I don’t know if I can call them “ladies...” more like bitchy roughnecks would suffice - are now back on their feet. Aimz takes the first initiative, running over to the ropes, jumping off the top rope, springboards off it and does a backflip, catching Nash with a Moon Sault. If Nash weighed a little more and was a bit stronger, she would’ve caught that aerial redheaded cow. But alas, Aimz’s 150 pounds crash down on top of Ellis’ 120 pounds. Aimz hooks the leg, but only gets a two-count from referee Richie Travis.
Aimz sits Ellis Nash up, kicks her hard in the back, then does a Mr. Perfect Somersault Snapmare Neck Breaker...thingy... is there a name for that? Someone break open the Big Book of Wrestling Moves and look that up for me. I’m too lazy. Sorry about that, my mind went elsewhere. Where was I? Oh yeah... after Aimz kicks that innovative move, she goes for the pin, but Nash kicks out after two. Aimz goes for a Springboard Asai-style Moon Sault but eats nothing but canvas. She clutches at her chest - you try landing on 36C tits and see how you would feel, she would say, I can hear it now, even though that’s a clean version - as Nash rolls her over for the pin fall, but nothing comes to fruition on that one. Aimz gets the shoulder up before three.
Darcy Crisis climbs back to his corner - welcome back to the living, Crisis! - and wants a tag in after getting his clock cleaned by Aimz. Ellis Nash obliges her partner after a few cross-face forearm shots to the face while using a Gory Lock (or Camel Clutch) on “The Red Raver.” Any who, Ellis tags in her partner, Crisis jumps on the top rope, springboards off it and does a Senton Bomb, pressing his 230 pounds across Aimz’s back, hurting his own back in the process. “D to the C” scoots over to Aimz, rolls her over and goes for the pin, hooking the leg, but Aimz gets the shoulder up before three.
Darcy Crisis picks up Aimz, whips her into the ropes, but Aimz changes gears, flies over to her partner, and tags in the Transatlantic champion, Jack “The Bull” Murphy! The are on their feet, chanting Jack Murphy’s name...
“MUR-PHY! MUR-PHY! MUR-PHY! MUR-PHY!”
Darcy Crisis runs over to his corner, wanting to tag in Ellis Nash, but she simply drops off the apron before Crisis reaches her. DC, visibly upset over this, telling her that they had a deal, blah blah blah. Unbeknownst to Crisis, “The Bull” is right behind him, breathing down his neck. Realizing Murphy is behind him now, his bowel would’ve evacuated just then, but he manages to keep his bodily functions in order. “The Bull” wraps his arms around Darcy’s waist, pops his hips and throws Crisis over his head with a Release German Suplex, almost landing on the back of his neck. The fans pop with cheers. Truth Waters is all over the German Suplex while George Cassidy complains as usual.
Jack Murphy stalks his opponent and goes for the cover, but Darcy Crisis kicks out before three. Murphy picks up Crisis, locks in a Shini No Maki (Cobra Clutch) and slams Darcy face first into the mat with Firebrand ’77. He goes for another cover, but Crisis won’t be denied, kicking out before three. Murphy is frustrated obviously. He picks up Darcy, kicks him in the gut and locks in a front face-lock. He picks him up for a Vertical Suplex, turns him in the air, about to spike him with the Fall from Grace (Murphy’s version of the Screwdriver Suplex), but Crisis slips out of the backdoor and locks in a Kata Hajime! After cinching it in, he drops backward with an Inverted DDT, finishing off the “Mind Crisis.” He goes for the pin, but Murphy muscles out before the count of three!
What action thus far between these two combatants! When the Transatlantic champion, Jack Murphy, gets to his feet, Darcy Crisis bounces off the ropes, flying at Murphy with a Spinning Heel Kick. Unfortunately, Crisis doesn’t connect with the kick. Instead, Murphy captures Crisis in midair and drops him across his knee with a Capture Backbreaker. Crisis is in trouble, clutching at his injured back. Murphy drops an elbow across the small of Darcy’s back, then wraps his thick legs around Crisis’ back, squeezing hard as he locks in a headlock. “D Masta C” is screaming in pain as “The Bull” applies more pressure on Crisis’ back, keeping the body scissors locked and tightening ever second. Crisis is starting to cough up blood, obviously sustaining internal bleeding and is starting to pass out from the pain.
Much to everyone’s surprise, Aimz enters the ring and kicks Jack Murphy in the back of the head. Everyone is silent after what had happened. Even the commentators are stunned to witness Aimz saving Darcy Crisis. Aimz quietly steps out of the ring and walks into the backstage area, leaving her partner all alone to face Ellis Nash and Darcy Crisis. The Transatlantic champion is beside himself, visibly upset after what had transpired. His back is turned to Darcy Crisis, yelling at Aimz to get back into the ring, even though she’d left the ring only a few seconds ago. Knowing that yelling at Aimz won’t bring her back to the ring, he turns to face Darcy Crisis...
Darcy Crisis was waiting patiently for the Transatlantic champion...
When Jack Murphy turned to face Darcy Crisis, Darcy took the initiative with an explosive Super Kick, catching him right in the face! “The Bull” drops backward like a ton of bricks, obviously out cold from the kick executed by Darcy Crisis! He goes for the cover...
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Darcy Crisis has pinned the Transatlantic champion, scoring the victory for his team! “The Darcinator” has scored the biggest upset of his career! “Open your Eyes” by Guano Apes plays as Darcy exits the ring, looking for Aimz, wanting to tell her thanks for saving him earlier.
When he finds Aimz, he thanked her for saving him in the match. Aimz’s response: a roundhouse kick upside her “boyfriend’s” head, knocking him out. What in the hell is going on with these two? First, Aimz saves Darcy Crisis from the clutches of Jack Murphy, now she knocks him the hell out - again! - with a kick. I guess no one will truly understand these two individuals.
Well, folks, that concludes the Fresh!burst action. Remember, Twilight Of The Gods is only five days away. After witnessing what had happened in the ring tonight, anything is bound to go down on the 24th.
With that, we wish you all goodnight, and remember to tune into Twilight Of The Gods. If you don’t, David Harber is going to unleash his enforcer and kill those who didn’t watch the PPV on the 24th.
Let that be a warning for all of you.
Ladies And Gentlemen, Watch As We Tell The Time Paradox To Fuck Right Off!
FEATURING: ELLIS NASH, MIKE WADE
AUTHOR: MIKE WADE
It was a hard fought match. "Ellis Nash" written on the door. She opens it up as she rubs her aching neck, longing for the shower that would await her. However what awaited her was no shower. As the door closed behind her she felt an unsettlment around herself. She was not alone...
"Hello Ellis..."
Ellis got startled. She almost jumped out of her skin. She turned around faster then a twister and revealed who was waiting her return. His shit eating grin could never be mistaken. It was AWC Frontier champion Mike Wade.
Ellis Nash: Wade! What the hell are you doing here.
Mike Wade: Funny I've been thinking the same thing about you.
Ellis Nash: This is my dressing room.
Mike Wade: Not the dressing room! I mean in general. Like what have you been up to lately.
Ellis Nash: What do you mean?
Mike Wade: I know what I've been up to lately Ellis, losing! Mike Wade doesn't lose, in case you didn't realise.
Ellis laughs it off.
Ellis Nash: Yeah, you sure have been doing some of that.
As the sentence leaves her mouth it's as if something inside of Wade cracks. He leaps from the bench he's sitting on and pins Ellis to the table in the centre of the room. His 209 and ¾ pound body pinned against hers in a scary fashion. Has Mike Wade turned into Chainz?
Mike Wade: Ever since you came along Adam Dick's head hasn't been in the game. If his head isn't in the game, then I lose. I lost the Alliance belts, I lost my Transatlantic title shot, and I lost my rematch for the Alliance belts too. All because of you, you stupid fucking bitch!
Ellis Nash: Mike, you're hurting me!
Mike Wade: Shut the fuck up!
Wade places his hand over the mouth of Nash as she screams a little he digs his right knee into her leg, hard, shutting her up.
Mike Wade: When there was no Ellis Nash titties in Adam Dick’s face, The Unfuckables were top of the world. Every single title in AWC was in our grasp. Now that he's infatuated with you, I got one! Ellis, you can screw whoever the fuck you want. But when my partner goes haywire, just thinking about his dick, then that's your fault and it’s time you paid.
Ellis tries to shrug Mike off, but after such a gruelling match her strength is down. Mike loosens the grip over her mouth.
Ellis Nash: What do you want Wade?
Mike Wade: Don't flatter yourself toots. I've had better fanny then you. What I want is you out of our lives.
Ellis Nash: (grins) Don't you think he's big enough... I mean BIG enough... to make up his own mind?
Mike slaps Ellis across the face causing her body to try and stir from underneath his. Not one to be slapped and pinned down, and with nothing free Nash spits straight in the face of Mike Wade. There is an unsettling moment of silence until Mike releases Nash completely. She even looks surprised as Wade starts laughing hysterically and walking towards the door.
Mike Wade: Twilight Of The Gods. Me and you, I'll even put the Frontier title on the line. I just wanna put you out of our misery. What do you say? Have we a little date?
Ellis Nash: Nothing will be sweeter then taking that final title from you Wade. You've crumbled over the last few weeks. I'm just gonna put you down.
And that’s all we wrote.