Fresh! Results12th September 2006
Prior to the televised show, triallist Juvian Ramorez defeated Kris Krimzon in a dark match. It is not yet known whether Ramorez will be signed to an AWC contract as a result.
Gestures
FEATURING: CAPTAIN SULEIMON, JACK MURPHY
AUTHOR: FERGUS
The crisp click of heeled shoes along the backstage pavement echoes down the cramped corridors. Its owner is purposefully striding along, taking his time to take in the surroundings, mulling over the possibilities for the evening. He has the night free from wrestling for the first time in a while, perhaps as a reward for his victory at Coast To Coast, but he would prefer to be wrestling. When it's in the blood, it pangs for the thrill of the hunt as it were. So deep in thought is Captain Suleimon that he doesn't even notice the other soul wandering the backstage area in the opposite direction.
This man in turn has plenty to be getting ready for. His match is coming up, and the warm ups need to be done. He's not getting any younger after all and the longer you work, the more and more you face those younger than you. The bones begin to ache and the muscle begins to wear. But the night is still young in the soul and that's all that matters to the Bull. His appetite hasn't been sated just yet. It's right at this moment that the two men collide, bumping but not budging right on the corridor.
Eyes glance towards one another. Muscles flex and become taut like strings, ready to break. A knuckle is cracked. The heads move up and down.
Then a nod each, nothing more.
They simply part ways.
State Of AWC Address
FEATURING: MIKE WADE, MICKEY MOORE
AUTHOR: MIKE WADE
Voice: Your usual programming has been interrupted for the following public service announcement. This announcement has been paid for by the office of the Commissioner.
The camera is zoomed in on the logo of AWC. It begins to zoom out to reveal the logo is on the front of somebody’s office desk. Upon further zoom-outage we find that the desk belongs to the one and only, new AWC commish, "His Swerviness" Mike Wade.
Mike Wade: My fellow Atlanticans. I come to you with a message of peace. A message of love. A message of independence and freedom. Many of you bore witness at Coast To Coast to the formation of possibly the most scary looking group this wrestling league has ever seen. More deadly than the Unfuckables, even, some might say. Led by David Harber, backed by Dr. Kasidy Drake and made up of AWC Roll of Legends member Pierce Lavelle, AWC Relentless champion Gabriel Afeaki and 2nd AWC Roll of Legends member and all round handsome man, Mike Wade. Well supposedly. Many are asking me why I agreed to be in the group to simply kick all their asses minutes later. It's very simple. This is why...
Mike holds a contract aloft.
Mike Wade: This here contract states upon me signing it that I am the new AWC Commissioner. Therefore by David Harber offering me this contract and me signing it, it can't be taken away from me. So after I sign it I no longer need to be part of their bullshit "stable", they can kiss me arse. David "don't you dare call me Pearl" Harber is a piece of shit. I knew that from the minute I walked in here. Pierce Lavelle was pussy whipped the second the Unfuckables formed and GA is nothing but a fucking poseur. You think somebody who busted their ass here for over a year, held three titles at once and then got inducted into the Roll of Legends needs three hangers on like those idiots? Come on you should all know better. The AWC Pearl and Co wanted to create they saw blow up in smoke with one slap of my fist. Their expectation of dominance went out the window when I cleared house and closed the show at the biggest PPV of the year. Here is my proposal for the NEW AWC. Mickey, the document!
Mike’s call is granted as Mickey Moore’s midget hand is seen slowly creeping into shot and delivers Mike the piece of paper he so desires.
Mike Wade: Here is my dossier for what will happen with Mike Wade at the helm:
1. To create utter mayhem controlled only by the ways and means of His Swerviness himself.
2. To give everyone their fair crack of the whip.
3. To make sure David Harber will always be referred to by the "Pearl" nickname he hates so much.
4. To have the female roster members massage my feet, arse, shoulders and testicles whenever I feel tight.
and finally and most important...
5. To make AWC the most dominant force in all of professional wrestling today.
Mike Wade: Ladies and gentlemen Mike Wade, the wrestler the man you all know and loved may be gone. But Mike Wade the commissioner has just been reborn. Welcome to Fresh! Welcome to Atlantic Wrestling Club!!! Mike stands up in full Richard Nixon double peace sign pose as we are taken inside the arena to hear the fans cheering and applauding Mike’s "state of AWC address".
Introduction
FEATURING: DAVE KERN, JEFF MARX
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
The screen goes to black then fizzles to life suddenly, the letters “AWC” flashing across in a brilliant white light. A moment of silence dominates, then, backed by “Way Away” by Yellowcard, images of AWC’s superstars appear, one after the other. The guitar plays softly first, then goes straight into a strong, powerful riff.
I think I’m breaking out
I’m gonna leave you now
There’s nothing for me here
It’s all the same
A pulsating white light continually lights up the screen, as shots of many AWC wrestlers in action are shown: Paddy O’Shea, Darcy Crisis, Teresa Tomas.
And even though I know
That everything might go
Go downhill from here
I’m not afraid
A quick collection of highlights from Coast To Coast 2006 flash across the screen as the song moves into its chorus. Pierce Lavelle speeding after Garbage Bag Johnny’s Segway; Josh Marquez’s giant Full House from the highest point of the boat; Mike Wade hitting David Harber with the TFW.
Way away, away from here I’ll be
Away, away, away, so you can see
How it feels to be alone and not believe
Feels to be alone and not believe
Anything
The happy whizz and bang of pyrotechnics fills this multi-function arena in Lisbon, Portugal as we pan around an AWC Fresh! set-up for the first time since before the divide. And what we see, it harks back even further. The crowd are relishing their freedom; no Volkyeva fences to hold them back. And the stage... the stage looks strangely empty. Because Dave Kern and Jeff Marx, AWC-East’s team supreme, they’re finally back at ringside. Where they belong.
Dave Kern: WELCOME TO FRESH!
Jeff Marx: NO EAST, NO WEST, NO BULLSHIT! AWC FRESH!, WITH THE OLD MUSIC AND NO SECURITY FENCES AND WE’RE AT RINGSIDE, BAYBEH!
Dave Kern: ELEVEN DAYS HAVE PASSED SINCE AWC ROCKED THIS WORLD TO ITS CORE WITH COAST TO COAST! WE CROWNED THREE NEW CHAMPIONS! WE REUNIFIED THE TRANSATLANTIC TITLE! AND WE – WE---
Jeff Marx: You got royally FUCKED!
Dave Kern: Jeff! That’s no way to talk to the millions of new fans we’re broadcasting to! That’s right ladies and gentleman, forecasts say viewing figures will be up 30% after Coast To Coast broke AWC right into the mainstream on September 1st! Not only did we break new grounds...
Jeff Marx: By using a Segway Human Transporter in a match, for example.
Dave Kern: Not only did we cause tens of thousands in damage to the Jewel Of The Seas...
Jeff Marx: Dollars, pounds, euros, whatever; it’s a hell of a lot of money!
Dave Kern: Not only did we induct our third member of the Roll of Legends...
Jeff Marx: BOW TO KING DICK!
Dave Kern: But... we lost Sasha Volkyeva.
Jeff Marx: ROT IN HELL BITCH!
Dave Kern: Jeff, there really is no call for that. No call at all. Sasha Volkyeva never quite saw eye to eye with – well, anybody here at all... but it turns out that her portrayal as the ‘bad guy’ in the fight between her and Pearl, East and West... well, it looks like it wasn’t quite as black and white as we thought. Right after David Harber relinquished his “Pearl” nickname – he claimed to have hated it all along – he was joined in the ring by a pretty strange assortment of people. In the end, David Harber, AWC’s Chief Financial Advisor Dr. Kasidy Drake, returning Legend Mike Wade, defeated three-time Transatlantic champion Pierce Lavelle, and the enigmatic Gabriel Afeaki were all in that ring together. And then came the most shocking revelation, one we never could’ve expected even in our wildest dreams...
David Harber: Who arranged to put Chainz and Tracy on different sides of the Atlantic? I did. I knew that Chainz, without the moderating effect his little floozy placed on him, was liable to erupt at any moment. And I was damn right. Sasha had her hands full.
David Harber: Who arranged for the only real security to be my side of the Atlantic? I did. I was making the calls about placing staff and I knew that an official security team was worth five medical teams, but Sasha didn’t. Sasha didn’t know enough, and she got the AWC medical team and had to deal with local security for each show. She learnt soon enough they weren’t good enough.
David Harber: Who got the electrics fixed to blow during the 11th July show? I did. Who held back ticket allocations throughout the European tour? I did. Who secured the release of a highly volatile convict from a remote Fiji prison, signed him up to an AWC contract and installed him to wreak havoc on the Fresh!east tour?
Truth Waters: (in a very small voice) Oh... dear God...
The arena is deathly silent. Some front row fans are crying. Afeaki is flexing his muscles and smirking, while a slow smile is forming on the face of Kasidy Drake. Wade and Lavelle look dead ahead, emotionless.
David Harber: I did.
Harber strolls arrogantly to one side of the ring, holding out an arm at the collection of men alongside him.
David Harber: Dr. Kasidy Drake. Gabriel Afeaki. Mike Wade. Pierce Lavelle. Who assembled the finest collection of the most powerful men in AWC, talked them round to a common cause and created an empire right here in the ring tonight?
David Harber: I DID.
David Harber: AWC, say hello to The Empire... and it’s going to be a long, long time before you can wave us goodbye.
Dave Kern: That’s it folks. David Harber… he was behind it all. The man we thought we loved…
Jeff Marx: Er.
Dave Kern: The man we were behind all the way.
Ghost Of Steven Smith: Especially me!
Dave Kern: Turned out to have been manipulating us all along. David Harber was The Voice controlling Gabriel Afeaki. And now David Harber was the leader of a new Empire. Until His Swerviness struck again...
Truth Waters: I... I don’t know what to say. I can’t say anything. I can’t fathom it. I can’t even... what a horrible way to end proceedings tonight!
George Cassidy: You can’t deny it’s pretty mouthwatering.
Truth Waters: I do apologise to each and every one of you out there. It’s just as painful here as it is for you there, and of all the ways I’d have liked Coast To Coast to end, this is not one of them...
Movement. Wade spins, catches Lavelle across the face with his forearm. The fans fall silent, captivated. Lavelle, taken completely by surprise, stumbles and goes down. Wade shoves away Kasidy Drake and moves seamlessly into a spear on Gabriel Afeaki, who was just unfurling himself for a ferocious retributional attack on His Swerviness. The fans begin to cheer. Lavelle stays down; Drake rolls into a sitting position to watch.
Harber.
Wade.
Red faces and angry eyes.
Kick to the gut; double underhook...
Bam.
TFW.
And David Harber, in many complex, layered ways that even I don’t yet understand, doesn’t know what’s hit him.
Jeff Marx: There’s no doubt about it, Harber pwned us all. But right after that, Mike Wade? Well. Man. David Harber got pwned.
Dave Kern: AWC is still in shock. The banter has gone; the happy-go-lucky attitude. It’s all deserted us. The hotel was deathly silent last night; people were coming in as late as they could, uncomfortable hanging around in an atmosphere where nobody knows what is what anymore. We saw The Empire, all of us, but we don’t know what it really is, what they really want. And I'm desperate to know, but also, I kinda don’t want to know... because whatever it is that’s turned David Harber it’s gotta be something pretty bad.
Jeff Marx: But he DIDN’T turn, did he? He’s planned this all along. The seeds were there. Why did he play us those videos, From The Archives? To show that good guys never prosper. So he stopped playing the good guy. He knew to get to the top he had to come from beneath; to one-up Sasha and everybody else.
Dave Kern: But why does he WANT to get to the top? What does this power permit him to DO?
Jeff Marx: Ah. Now that would be telling.
Dave sighs.
Dave Kern: Folks, it’s a surreal atmosphere here tonight in the Pavil--- Pavilh--- never mind. It’s quite surreal. On the one hand, every seat is sold; the fans are pumped because AWC is coming off of its best show ever, period. But on the other, we’re all wary, cautious of what’s to come. Cheers are dying out quickly; chants aren’t catching on. For the first time ever in AWC, the fans aren’t here to be entertained... they’re here to watch.
Jeff Marx: And there isn’t a hell of a lot FOR them to watch tonight! Mike Wade hasn’t exactly excelled himself on his first night as Commissioner; only four matches booked!
Dave Kern: But we’re opening with a real cracker. Jack Murphy, former AWC Transatlantic champion, a veteran of the Atlantic Wrestling Club, faces big-name signing Ignatius Lisieux.
Jeff Marx: Reckon Lisieux remembers Wade from his days as jobber to the stars in PRIME?
Dave Kern: I hardly think---
Jeff Marx: Nah, I didn’t think so either. Lisieux would’ve been too busy kissing butt to make his way up the card to notice the scrapheap he passed on the way. Mike Wade... couldn’t make it in PRIME, and now he’s an AWC Legend? Am I working for the wrong promotion? Go figure.
Dave Kern: It remains to be seen whether Ignatius Lisieux can make as successful a crossover from PRIME to AWC as Mike Wade did, but Lisieux is a Hall-Of-Famer in PRIME. He’s got a long way to go to even match that level of success in AWC. A win against The Bull tonight would put him on the right track. There are other newcomers also looking for a debut victory---
Jeff Marx: Yeah, a jobfest in match number two. Ken Kaze, who’s drifted around every fed since the dawn of time; Bot, who signed up to the forums like fifty times; and Lance O---
Dave Kern: It’s B.O.T., Jeff.
Jeff Marx: ya w/e
Dave Kern: The Coalition will follow-up their Coast To Coast success with a match against Delta Upsilon Iota. Another win will stand them in good stead to challenge The Furious Fists Of God for the belts when they meet at the next pay-per-view – that’s October 13th, folks; date for your diaries! And then we come to our main event...
Jeff Marx: Now THIS is a biggie; Gabriel Afeaki vs Garbage Bag Johnny.
Dave Kern: Versus Darcy Crisis.
Jeff Marx: ...that bit doesn’t count.
Dave Kern: New champions face off in a Three Way Fury where their new belts are legal weapons! And what’s on the line, Jeff?
Jeff Marx: Clothes?
Dave Kern: Only the first guaranteed spot in GTT6! That’s right folks! Tonight you’ll see the first AWC representative for the GTT6 tournament earn his spot!
Jeff Marx: His/her.
Dave Kern: Jeff, I appreciate the PCness but there are no females competing in our main ev--- oh that just isn’t funny anymore.
Jeff Marx: Darrrrrrrrcy...
Rubberband Slap Pop
FEATURING: GARBAGE BAG JOHNNY, PADDY O'SHEA
AUTHORS: JOSH K., MICHAEL DOHERTY AND PIERRE HYDE
The rubberband slap pop bass riff of “Garbage Bag Johnny Will Win Zero 2 Hero” fills the Pavilhão Atlântico Multiusos in Lisbon, Portugal, and the Portuguese fans let off an explosive pop in anticipation of the new AWC Transatlantic champion. Before the hallucinogenic funk riff of the verse kicks in, a blast of pyro explodes on the stage, and through the smoke, a dumpster slowly propels forward - a dumpster that has been somehow transformed into a vehicle, complete with steering wheel and all the horsepower of an automobile circa 1920. The automobile is being piloted by the AWC Transatlantic champion, Garbage Bag Johnny.
Dave Kern: Listen to the response for Garbage Bag Johnny! The fans really took a liking to him after his Coast To Coast victory!
Jeff Marx: Balderdash, Dave! When Garbage Bag was a bumbling toady who actually knew his place, he was a man I could respect. The glory hound stole the title from right under his best friend’s nose, just like he tried stealing Ellis Nash from the only true King.
Garbage Bag Johnny, sitting atop one closed half of the dumpster with his legs dangling into the open half is wearing the Transatlantic belt, but there’s something a little strange about it; it looks gigantic. Furthermore, bubbles are floating up and out of the dumpster. GBJ parks the vehicle next to the ring and struggles off, his walk teetering because of the weight of the belt.
Dave Kern: Something’s amiss here.
Jeff Marx: I never would have guessed by the motorized dumpster that’s exhausting bubbles.
GBJ slides into the ring and uses his might to get up with the chunk of gold still around his waist. For some reason, he’s trailing liquid all over the place, and his legs are sopping wet up to the knees. He is handed a microphone, which he bends down to receive with great effort. He pauses to soak in the audience’s chants of his initials until they respectfully quiet down to hear what he has to say.
Garbage Bag Johnny: First off, I’d like to thank you all for the positive reaction you’ve given me.
The fans pop again, albeit cheaply.
Jeff Marx: What a tool. I’d expect this from someone like Jack Murphy, but not from Garbage Bag. Somebody give him some drugs or something.
Dave Kern: Quiet, Jeff. I want to hear what he has to say.
Jeff Marx: You would.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Before Coast To Coast, you may have noted that the AWC Transatlantic championship had been split into a crown and a belt, but since winning the championship, I decided that having a crown and a belt would be too hard to keep track of. Thus, I employed my blacksmithing skills and melted the crown down. I forged the heated melt of gold and hammered it back into shape on my trusty anvil. Once the shape of the belt had drawn out, I let it cool a bit and take its shape, and now I’ve got a beautiful waist-piece that only weighs approximately three bowling balls.
Jeff Marx: What the hell is this maniac rambling on about?
Dave Kern: It beats the hell out of me.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Anyway, there have been a lot of people talking here and there about some thing called the Empire. They say that a lot of things are going to be a lot different around AWC, but none of that matters much to me. You see, all my life, people have looked at me and seen nothing but a dirty, hairy, tactless man, but who’s the dirty, hairy, tactless man now?
Jeff Marx: He’s still a dirty, hairy, tactless man.
Dave Kern: I really can’t argue that point, but he is the AWC champion, now, and with the way things are shaping up, I feel a lot better with the title in GBJ’s hands than I would in the hands of Empire.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Forgive me for being a little drunk. I had a speech planned out, but I forgot most of it. Basically, the gist of things was that even though I’m the champion, I’m not going to let it get to me - like that time back in aught-three when I made a small fortune at the tracks only to spend it all on a life size Swiss chocolate statue of myself. I consulted all of the finest chocolatiers, and I may not have much to show for it now, but let me tell you; I was damned delicious.
Jeff Marx: Are we going to have to sit through this every week?
Dave Kern: Eh, at least things are a lot less crowded out here without Steven Smith gaying everything up.
Garbage Bag Johnny: With me as the new Transatlantic King…
Jeff Marx: Blasphemy.
Garbage Bag Johnny: …I’m going to be hard at work making some new rules around here. My first decree is that we tear down the security barrier between the audience and the ring and raise the count out limit to ten instead of five. This’ll allow me adequate time to jump into the stands and buy nachos when I’m fighting.
Dave Kern: I think Harber already established that last week.
Jeff Marx: GBJ doesn’t get to make rules just because he’s the AWC champion. This is an outrage.
Garbage Bag Johnny: And second, I declare that people stop spreading the slanderous rumor that I smell bad. I’m a changed man, and I’ve cleaned up a bit.
Garbage Bag Johnny reaches under his shirt and pulls out a tree-shaped air-freshener that he’s wearing as a necklace.
Garbage Bag Johnny: And finally, I don’t see why everybody should always be getting pissed off at everyone else. I want to usher in an era where a good fight’s a good fight, just like down at the boxcar graveyards when we’d all beat the piss out of each other and then laugh it off with some malt wine and bean sandwiches. I’ve already put in a request to get malt wine and bean sandwiches added to the catering tables. I think that we’d all be a lot better off that way.
The crowd, for some reason, is still cheering everything that GBJ says.
Dave Kern: He brings up a good point. I’d like to see more purity and sportsmanship in AWC, too.
Jeff Marx: What the hell are you talking about? He’s just trying to score some free bean sandwiches. I could go for the malt wine though right about now. I wouldn’t mind drinking myself into a blacked out stupor every show.
Garbage Bag Johnny: With that out of the way, I also have one more bit of news - something I found out before the show. In the spirit of a good fight being a good fight instead of some overdramatic revenge sage, I’ve met the new number one contender for the Transatlantic belt, and he’s a hell of a guy…reminds me of me a little bit. He’s a scruffy gent, loves to get liquored up, he’s a hand at a scrap, and he’s got a penchant for winning trophies…
“Raggle Taggle Gypsy” by Christy Moore begins to play, and the fans go wild again for one of the most popular superstars in AWC history.
Dave Kern: Paddy O’Shea! His prize for holding the Countdown trophy at the end of the competition is a shot at the AWC Title?
Jeff Marx: I think that was implied.
Dave Kern: I’m just saying, Garbage Bag Johnny and Paddy O’Shea ‘faced off’ at the AWC anniversary event, and now they’re facing off for real and for the AWC championship! That’s going to be a hell of a scrap, as our champion called it.
Jeff Marx: YOUR champion.
Paddy O’Shea, instead of emerging from the ramp, emerges from the dumpster. He is completely soaked and nearly completely naked. The smell of liquor wafts through the arena - the dumpster being full of champagne! Paddy stumbles into the ring and GBJ and O’Shea share a secret handshake. Then O’Shea falls unconscious.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Hmm. I think what Paddy was trying to say was, “Top o’ t’ morning to youse! I'm lookin’ for’ard t’ takin’ on t’ Garbage man at t’Untouchable so’s he can beat t’ fuck outta me! Yeah I'm Irish!”
Dave Kern: Jeff, I think GBJ might be trying to insult Paddy O’Shea, who has fallen unconscious in mid-ring. This is a travesty.
Jeff Marx: Untouchable?
Dave Kern: (flustered) Oh er, looks like Garbage Bag just broke the embargo on giving away the name of the next big event on October 13th...
Jeff Marx: So our next pay-per-view main event is sell-out, Ellis-thief Garbage Bag Johnny against bumbling drunk Paddy O’Shea?
Dave Kern: That’s former Alliance champion and Countdown trophy-holder bumbling drunk Paddy O’Shea! ...God help us.
Jeff Marx: AWC: truly Untouchable.
Liberated
FEATURING: SHAWN HARRIS, VALERIE LAYNE, PIERCE LAVELLE, GABRIEL AFEAKI
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
Shawn Harris: No, look. This can’t be right mate. I'm Shawn Harris, the New Fucking---
Valerie Layne: Don’t you fuckin’ swear at me you little shit.
And he is little by comparison. Valerie Layne, head of AWC Security, towers over and far outweighs the man with one AWC victory to his name.
Valerie Layne: You’re not on the fuckin’ list, you’re not comin’ fuckin’ in. Is that fuckin’ clear?
Shawn Harris: Don’t you swear at me you big fat les---
Pierce Lavelle: Is there a problem here?
Pierce Lavelle’s smooth tones are enough to render Harris silent.
Valerie Layne: Yeah mate, this Harris cunt isn’t fuckin’ shifting. I’ve got a fuckin’ queue to get through and all, this whole fuckin’ banquet for the fuckin’ Empire and---
Pierce Lavelle: Don’t worry, I’ll deal with this. Gabs!
Gabriel Afeaki approaches from the shadows at the side of the car park. Harris’ eyes pop and he immediately starts to look for an escape.
Shawn Harris: Hang on – what were you doing there – you weren’t even in the arena, you were---
Gabriel Afeaki: Waiting for you.
Broad smiles adorn the faces of Lavelle and the new Relentless champion Afeaki.
Shawn Harris: So – so – why? Why can’t I get in; why are you here; why---
Gabriel Afeaki: Didn’t anyone tell you?
Afeaki advances menacingly, while Lavelle frowns, a grim look on his face.
Gabriel Afeaki: We’re trimming the fat.
Shawn Harris: So I'm getting fired?
Afeaki turns to meet Lavelle’s eyes. Lavelle watches him, eyes burning and jaw clenched; Afeaki lets out a low laugh.
Gabriel Afeaki: No, no, not fired... liberated.
A booming laugh from Afeaki, and a moment later his left forearm shoots out, smashing Harris across the chin. Harris goes back against a car door like a shot. Lavelle sprints away towards a black estate with no licence plates, leaping in the driving seat and firing up the engine, while Afeaki drives a hard knee into Harris’ gut. The New Evolution lets out a loud moan. Lavelle screeches out of the parking space and executes a quick spin on the forecourt, before hitting the button to have the boot fly open. Afeaki grabs Harris under his arms and hauls him into the trunk. Harris puts up a token resistance, swatting at Afeaki’s brow, but GA knocks his arm away and headbutts him clean across the bridge of his nose. The crack of Harris’ nose breaking is heard, and then the boot is slammed shut. Lavelle hits the accelerator, and the car races away.
Afeaki watches it go with a widening smile, and turns to head back into the arena.
Ignatius Lisieux vs Jack Murphy
STIPULATION: SINGLES
REFEREE: RICHIE TRAVIS
AUTHOR: JEREMY J.
Dave Kern: All right, ladies and gentlemen! Coming up in a few short minutes, we’re debuting more new superstars to AWC! If you tuned into Coast To Coast eleven days ago, you saw that Ignatius Lisieux is now in AWC, and he’s debuting against former Transatlantic and Livewire champion, Jack “The Bull” Murphy! The former PRIME Universal champion and inductee into the Hall of Fame signed a contract, turned his back on PRIME and then dropped Dr. Kasidy Drake with his finisher! Now he’s facing a huge challenge in Jack Murphy.
Jeff Marx: You know, I can’t wait for this match! Ignatius Lisieux was one of the best superstars in PRIME, and now he’s the property of AWC, and we can get to see what he’s made of! Jack Murphy’s no slouch in the ring, so he won’t hesitate to give the former Universal champion a run for his money. Two former champions are gonna clash in the middle of the ring, and I think the fans are gonna get a big treat!
Dave Kern: Indeed they are, Jeff! I’m glad to see you’re excited to see Ignatius in action!
Jeff Marx: Are you kidding? He had it made in PRIME and now he’s AWC! What is he, stupid? But I don’t care, he’s AWC and that’s all that matters. David Harber could probably give him better deals than that Chink ass!
Dave Kern: ...do you mean Hin See? Jeff, that’s a little insulting. Not just because you’re racist. But because he’s dead.
Jeff Marx: I dunno, I was told to say that!
Dave Kern: Let’s not wait any longer! Pierre Perroquet and his parrot are in the ring ready to announce the combatants for tonight’s match! Perry, you got the floor!
Pierre Perroquet: Ze following ees a seengles match!
The clinical riff of “Burn” by Throwdown fills the arena and begins an extended loop as the house lights dim to a dull, crimson red. As the flick of the lighter is heard around the arena and the riff explodes, so too does the entrance into a burning inferno. Through the flames emerges “The Bull” Jack Murphy.
Pierre Perroquet: Eentroducing first, from Kildare, Ireland, weighing een at 278 pounds... JACK “ZE BULL” MURPHY!
Parrot of Perroquet: BALLS! BALLS!
Jack Murphy walks down to the ring, listening to the mixed reactions from the Portuguese fans as he rolls into the ring. He slowly gets to his feet, obviously showing that age is perhaps getting the best of him, and goes to his respected corner.
Parrot of Perroquet: BALLS! BALLS!
Dave Kern: Ooh, I didn’t like how he got up after rolling into the ring. It’s obviously showing that he’s getting a little too old to compete in AWC.
Jeff Marx: He’s probably still sore from his loss against Captain Suleimon, which I’m happy to see that he picked up the victory over his Duo Tag partner.
Pierre Perroquet: ‘is hopponent...
The arena is plunged into pitch-black as camera bulbs shoot off in a vain attempt to shed some light, electronic voices from all continents fade into a jet-style whoosh, and then into a cymbal splash complete with parallel white and pink pyrotechnic explosion. As the fans rise to their feet and emit their very own sound explosion for “Surfing with the Alien” by Joe Satriani. Pink and white strobe lights slash through the arena as the entrance video for Ignatius Lisieux commences on the Atlantic Tron and the French-Canadian strolls confidently out onto the middle of the stage.
Pierre Perroquet: Making ‘is way to ze ring, from Ville-Marie, Quebec, Canada... ah, un francophone!... weigheeng 238 pounds... EEG-NASS-YOOS LEEZ-YUH!
Lisieux raises his arms into a crucifix pose as white explosions fire off down the center of the ramp, the crowd gasp in shock and awe as the smoke begins to clear and the MVP marches down purposefully towards the squared circle. Once there, Lisieux hops up onto the apron and mounts the nearest turnbuckle to raise the crucifix pose once more as the lights are restored to the arena and Satriani’s wailing guitar fades to silence.
Dave Kern: Here comes one of the most decorated wrestlers from PRIME! He has captured practically every title PRIME had to offer and he had his last match taking the fall to Karina Wolfenden at Colossus III.
Ring announcer Pierre Perroquet exits the ring as referee Richie Travis calls for the bell. Two former champions slowly make their way into the ring, their eyes locked on each other. When they enter into the center of the ring, it’s obvious that Jack Murphy - the former Transatlantic and Livewire champion - is bigger, possibly stronger and has more in-ring experience than Ignatius Lisieux. Finally breaking away from the classic stare-down, both men lock up in the middle of the ring with a collar-and-elbow tie-up, jockeying for first position.
Using his size and strength to his advantage, Jack “The Bull” Murphy muscles Ignatius Lisieux into a Side Headlock, goes for the Headlock Takedown, and cinches in that Headlock as hard as he can. Before Murphy can pull up to inflict more damage, the new AWC superstar kips out of the predicament and is now back on his feet, staring down at his opponent. The former Universal champion - out of the kindness of his heart - extends his hand to Jack and helps him up from the canvas. The Portuguese crowd applauds “The MVP” for his good sportsmanship.
We’re back to square one of this match-up, both superstars go for another collar-and-elbow tie-up and this time, Ignatius Lisieux gets the upper hand by executing a deep Arm Drag, taking Jack Murphy down onto the mat. The fans cheer a bit after what they had witness, and all “The Bull” could do was look up at “Eternal Sunrise” and nod his head in admiration. The former Transatlantic champion gets to his feet, extends his hand out to Lisieux, gesturing for a handshake. In typical Face fashion, Ignatius looks out into the crowd, wondering if he should take Jack’s handshake. Shrugging his shoulders, he grasps Jack’s hand with a firm handshake, saying something to him and then attempts to break away. Instead, Murphy resorts to some underhanded trickery by pulling the French Canadian forward and takes him down with a Short Arm Clothesline. The fans jeer in disgust as “The Bull” looks down at Iggy with a sly smile on his face.
Jeff Marx: There’s the Jack Murphy I know and love, Kern! He made Iggy fall for the old handshake trick and took him down with a Short Arm Clothesline! You gotta love it!
Dave Kern: A smart move on the part of Jack Murphy, but the fans aren’t liking it! Ignatius Lisieux is known as a hero worldwide, and “The Bull” is showing nothing but disrespect for Lisieux tonight!
Jack Murphy cracks his knuckles, grabs one of the French Canadian’s arms and yanks him up to his feet. He takes Ignatius Lisieux down with a Fireman’s Carry, then slaps on a Reverse Chin-lock, locking it on tight. Referee Richie Travis is in position, asking the debuting AWC superstar if he wants to surrender. Obviously, the former Universal champion isn’t going to submit from a lousy Reverse Chin-lock. I mean, when was last time someone actually gave up from a Chin-lock? Seventy, maybe eighty years ago when wrestling holds were actually real? Yeah, professional wrestling has come a long way, hasn’t it? I’m sorry, I’m babbling. Where was I? Oh yes, Murphy on Lisieux with a Reverse Chin-lock.
Anyway, like I was saying, Ignatius Lisieux isn’t going to surrender from a Reverse Chin-lock. Instead, he turns the tables on Jack Murphy by slipping out of the Chin-lock with ease, rolls over Jack’s back and slaps on a Reverse Chin-lock of his own, but he doesn’t get it cinched in on time before “The Bull” used his power to break from it. Both men scramble to their feet and make it to a vertical base at the same time. The fans cheer at what they’re seeing, and all of them are behind “The MVP” one hundred percent...
“IGGY! IGGY! IGGY! IGGY! IGGY!”
Dave Kern: This match is turning into a “Who Can Out-Wrestle Who?” Match, and so far, Ignatius Lisieux is leading in points!
Jeff Marx: I gotta tell ya, Kern, I’m very impressed with what I’m seeing from the French Canadian, but after seeing a small mean streak from Jack Murphy, I don’t think Iggy’s abilities in the ring can withstand Murphy’s dark side.
Jack Murphy quickly advances towards the French Canadian and buries a knee into his solar plexus, doubling Ignatius Lisieux over, and follows it up with a clubbing forearm strike to the back of the neck. “The Bull” gives Iggy another clubbing forearm strike to the back of his neck, sending Iggy face first onto the canvas. Murphy then picks up Iggy and sends him into the ropes. After the rebound, Iggy tries a Twist Back Elbow but “The Bull” is one step ahead. The former Transatlantic champion catches Lisieux in midair and throws him over his head with a Capture Suplex. The Hall of Fame inductee meets “Crash” and “Burn” as he lands hard onto the canvas. The fans are booing louder at “The Bull,” but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about these Portuguese fans.
Jack Murphy stalks his opponent with a egocentric grin on his face. He picks up Ignatius Lisieux and gets him to a vertical base. He gets behind Iggy and pins an arm back with a Hammerlock. Afterwards, Jack bends over slightly, pressing his right shoulder into Iggy’s back to pin his arm in place, wraps his right arm around Iggy’s waist and wraps his left arm around Iggy’s right thigh. With a show of strength and exquisite technique, he lifts Iggy into the air and drops backward with a Hammerlock Saito Suplex! The fans jeer at the former Transatlantic champion as he goes for a lateral press and hooks the leg...
ONE!
TWO!
Ignatius Lisieux kicks out after two!
Jeff Marx: Great maneuver by Jack Murphy: sort of looks like a Saito Suplex with a Hammerlock! Never seen anything like it before!
Dave Kern: It’s actually done by a Japanese wrestler named Takuya Maomushi (made up name J-Bone Ed.). His move is a Backdrop Driver variation of what you just saw, calling it the Maomushi Driver. Maomushi has been using the Saito Suplex for the majority of his career to pay homage to his idol, Masanori Saito.
Jeff Marx: You’re just full of useless information aren’t you, Kern?
Dave Kern: Hey, I’ve raised myself on a healthy diet of professional wrestling.
Jack Murphy gets to his feet, picks up Ignatius Lisieux and locks in a Shini No Maki, looking for Firebrand ‘77, but Iggy scouted that move and counters with a Ipponzei Judo Takedown. Still having Jack’s arm in his possession, the French Canadian drops backward, wrapping his legs around Jack’s arm in a figure-four fashion and hyperextend the shoulder and elbow. “The Bull” is roaring in pain as “The MVP” pulls back on the Triangle Arm Bar
Dave Kern: Triangle Arm Bar by Ignatius Lisieux!
Jeff Marx: C’mon, Jack! Win one for our side!
Dave Kern: Uhh, Jeff, the roster split’s over. There aren’t any sides anymore.
Jeff Marx: I know that! I’m talking about the heel side!
Dave Kern: Oh, right. How stupid of me to comment.
Jeff Marx: You’re forgiven for your stupidity.
Dave Kern simply rolls his eyes and continues to call the match. At this point, Jack Murphy is in a crouching position, trying to muscle his arm out of Ignatius Lisieux’s Triangle Arm Bar. All he’s doing is causing more pain onto himself and is about to rip his shoulder out of the socket. With his free arm, he grabs a hold of Iggy’s tights and with all the strength he can muster, he picks up Iggy up into the air with a pseudo Power Bomb and drives Iggy’s spine onto the canvas, forcing him to break the hold. “The Bull” clutches at his arm, groaning in pain.
Jeff Marx: Power Bomb by Jack Murphy! Go for the cover!
As if he hears Jeff Marx, he goes for the cover, hooking the leg...
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
Kick out by Ignatius Lisieux! He shoots the shoulder up before the three!
Dave Kern: The French Canadian Ignatius Lisieux is still in this match!
Starting to feel frustrated, Jack Murphy gets to his feet, picks up Ignatius Lisieux and takes him down with a Front Spine Buster. He grabs a hold of Iggy’s legs, locks them in a figure-four, turns him over and sits on his back, performing a Kildare Cloverleaf! The Universal champion is bellowing in pain, trying to claw towards the ring ropes, but to no avail. Murphy’s 280 pounds is too much weight to carry with him. “The Bull” pulls back on the maneuver, inflicting more pain on Iggy’s lower back.
Dave Kern: Texas Cloverleaf---
Jeff Marx: Kildare Cloverleaf, Kern!
Dave Kern: (Sigh) Kildare Cloverleaf by Jack Murphy.
“IGGY! IGGY! IGGY! IGGY! IGGY!”
The Portuguese are trying to get behind the PRIME Hall of Fame inductee. Rallying on the fan’s chants, Ignatius Lisieux slowly pushes himself up, taking Jack Murphy’s near 280 pounds with him. Iggy bellows out, turns himself onto his back and pins Murphy’s shoulder onto the mat! Jack is frantically trying to scramble out of the pinning predicament!
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
Jack Murphy gets out in time! “The Bull is the first one to his feet, drops a leg across “Eternal Sunrise’s” throat, and does a blatant choke in front of referee Richie Travis. The fans are booing loudly at Murphy, not liking his conduct towards the former Universal champion. He breaks the blatant choke, gets Iggy to his feet and picks him up for a Fireman’s Carry. Murphy shifts Iggy’s weight forward, sits down and drives his head into the canvas with a Michinoku Driver II! He goes for the cover...
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
NO! Ignatius Lisieux gets the shoulder up!
Jeff Marx: DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!
Dave Kern: Jack Murphy couldn’t put Ignatius Lisieux with a modified Fall from Grace!
Jack Murphy is about to lose his temper; everyone can see that he’s about to explode. As Ignatius Lisieux gets to his feet, Murphy bounces off the ropes and drives his shoulder into Iggy’s gut, doubling him over with the Bull Charge. He locks in a Front Face-lock, picks him up in a Vertical Suplex setup, turns Iggy around so his back is facing the fans and drops onto his knees, drilling Iggy’s head onto the canvas with...
Jeff Marx: Fall from Grace! Ignatius Lisieux has taken the fall from grace! Cover him, Jack!
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
NO! Ignatius Lisieux has kicked out!
Jeff Marx: WHAT?! HE KICKED OUT OF THE... HOW IN THE HELL?!
Dave Kern: I can’t believe it either, Jeff! Ignatius Lisieux is still in this match!
Jack Murphy is beside himself, arguing with referee Richie Travis that he had Ignatius Lisieux beat. Turning to face Iggy, he walks over to the side of the corner, and crouches low, waiting for Lisieux to get to his feet. The French Canadian gets wobbly onto his feet, walking around in a daze. He turns to face “The Bull” and quickly counters Murphy’s Spear attempted with a Tilt-a-Whirl Pile Driver!
Dave Kern: ETERNAL SUNRISE! Cover him kid!
Jeff Marx: NO, DAMMIT!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
“Surfing with the Alien” by Joe Satriani plays on the PA system and the ring announcer announces the winner...
Pierre Perroquet: Bravo, bravo! Ze winner of ze match, IGNATIUS LISIEUX!
Dave Kern: Ignatius Lisieux has overcome his first huge obstacle by beating Jack Murphy! What a way to start your career in the AWC!
Jeff Marx: I DEMAND A RECOUNT, GODDAMMIT! JACK MURPHY GOT SCREWED~!
Dave Kern: There are no recounts and Jack Murphy didn’t get screwed and you know it, Marx! Coming up next, we have ourselves a Newcomers’ Three Way Fury! Don’t go anywhere!
Empire In The Sky
FEATURING: THE EMPIRE
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
The scene: a sky-box overlooking the Multi-Use Pavilion (translation) in Lisbon. Spacious design, thick carpeting, modern art and luxurious furniture. A long glass table covered by enormous dishes of delicious. A dozen bottles of red and a dozen of white wine. Champagne. Caviar. Donuts...
You see, while Kasidy Drake is an expert in trimming the excess off a wage bill, he’s a firm believer in corporate hospitality – at least for himself. So while the rest of the roster is slumming it in the Portuguese dressing rooms at the bottom, with no catering laid on, his Empire enjoy a wonderful banquet in the plush sky-box overlooking the ringside area.
David Harber: This is really great, Kasidy.
Dr. Kasidy Drake: Get used to it. This is how real businessmen live, David.
The two are at opposite ends of the table in big, reclining leather chairs, Harber gnawing at a chicken drumstick, Dr. Drake imperious with his cheese and cucumber finger sandwich. Gabriel Afeaki stands by the window, motionless, looking out on the ring and the fans.
Dr. Kasidy Drake: I’ve got a friend you’ll be meeting later. His name’s LeVar Kintu. He’ll be a personal guard of sorts.
He says it confrontationally, but as Harber looks up from his drumstick, there’s immediate alertness on his face, and Afeaki swivels from the window questioningly.
David Harber: A personal guard?
Dr. Kasidy Drake: Not one of those Drakewerx goons; no. LeVar is... different.
David Harber: We already have Gabriel and Pierce to take control of th---
Dr. Kasidy Drake: (snarling) As I said, LeVar is different.
This issue is by no means closed, but the door now opens, one of the black-clad Drakewerx guards/stormtroopers admitting a flustered Pierce Lavelle to the box.
David Harber: How’d it go?
Lavelle forces a smile.
Pierce Lavelle: Liberated.
David Harber: Exc---
Pierce Lavelle: But I saw... Wade. On my way up.
Harber’s eyebrows jump.
David Harber: And? What did he say?
Pierce Lavelle: He’s booked next week’s main event, and... er, Gabriel...
Afeaki finally turns to acknowledge Lavelle.
Gabriel Afeaki: Yes?
Pierce Lavelle: That, er...
Lavelle waves a hand at the Relentless title belt that sits in pride of place on the otherwise empty sofa at the far end of the box.
Pierce Lavelle: You’re defending it against Captain Suleimon.
Harber jumps to his feet in anger.
David Harber: What?! He can’t do that, I'm the Entertainment Manager here!
Pierce Lavelle: It’s within his power as Commissioner, so he said.
David Harber: Fuck that, I can’t b---
Gabriel Afeaki: Chill!
Harber stops pacing back and forth and looks at Afeaki.
Gabriel Afeaki: I can handle it. I can handle him; I can handle anyone.
He turns to look at Lavelle.
Gabriel Afeaki: He can book me defending this title every single week if he so wants. You tell him that.
Lavelle frowns.
Pierce Lavelle: Tell him yourself!
Lavelle moves towards the table and grabs a drumstick.
David Harber: No... you’re both going to tell him. Tonight is just a warning...
Two Birds And One Stone
FEATURING: JOHNNY LEXICON, RED ROCK
AUTHORS: KRIS (KLONE) AND JOSH YOUNG
The camera finds Johnny Lexicon casually strolling the hall backstage, he's wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a black Pierce Lavelle sleeveless shirt.
Voice: It was you!
Johnny Lexicon stops mid-step as a screeching whine erupts behind him. Red Rock approaches with a face full of murder. Six feet and six inches of irritated rookie turns around to face five feet and ten inches of former Relentless champion.
Red Rock: You cost me my belt!
Crewman: Whoa who's killing a koala?
Johnny Lexicon: He's just angry.
Red Rock: You were supposed to be on my team, and you didn't help me!
Johnny Lexicon: Well---
Red Rock extends the formidable forefinger of furious ferocity.
Red Rock: Because of you that Fijian Fu---
Johnny Lexicon: Calm down now, don't do anything rash.
Johnny's hands are up and he takes a cautious step back from the finger.
Red Rock: He's got my belt, and it's all your fault!
Johnny Lexicon: Hey!
Johnny frowns and drops his hands.
Johnny Lexicon: I capitalized on an opportunity to elevate my status. I was prepared and ready to face the challenges presented on that boat and I'm not going to apologize! You want me to be sorry you had a few too many drinks and lost your strap?
Red Rock: I wasn't drunk!
Johnny Lexicon: Trust me, you were drunk.
Red Rock: Don't turn this around on me! You should have helped me. I didn't only lose my belt but you lost a team mate and in the end? We all lost the match.
Crewman: You lovers need a little privacy?
Johnny Lexicon: What's done is done, and Gabriel's got your belt. I can't help you go back in time and stop hitting the shots until the world starts spinning. I can, however, be of assistance if you should, I dunno, want to get your belt. Back.
Johnny puts a hand up to stop Red Rock from speaking and takes a deep breath.
Johnny Lexicon: There. I said it, I feel liberated now.
Red Rock: Uh.
Johnny Lexicon: No, you know, when you have something you just want to say but can't find the chance. I just did. And I feel good. I think you should go back to your locker room and think about what exactly just transpired here.
Reck Rock: But... What?
Johnny Lexicon: I know, it is blowing my mind. I need a minute.
Johnny turns away crisply.
Reck Rock: But...
Johnny Lexicon: I feel free!
Red Rock: But...
Johnny rounds the corner with a whistle.
The Foundations Of An Empire
FEATURING: DR. KASIDY DRAKE, ???
AUTHOR: K.J. MARTIN
“Bullets,” by Creed begins to blare over the sound system of the arena, and the entire arena is in uproar as Dr. Kasidy Drake emerges from backstage in his usual sharp suit and slicked back white hair. He mockingly gives the crowd a slight polite bow and begins to stride down the aisle to the ring.
Pierre Perroquet: Ladies and gentlemen, plizz welcome, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, ze Chief Financial Advisor of ze Atlantic Wrestling Club, Dr. Kasidy Williams Drake!
The crowd becomes even rowdier at the suggestion that they “welcome” Drake and arena security can be seen moving to stop several incidents-in-progress. Drake stops at the bottom of the entrance aisle and looks around as five thousand angry Portuguese threaten to cause an international incident at the sold-out Pavilhão Multiusos arena.
Dave Kern: And here comes… perhaps the most disgusting human being that I have ever seen grace Atlantic Wrestling Club television. We hear from him little and see him even less, but somehow this one little scrawny corporate thug from a ditch in South Philadelphia has been, in some way, involved in nearly every major negative incident in the short history of his company. Whether it was the supposed accidental leak of the Prometheus Serum within the walls of this company, or the complete havoc that was the West/East roster-split that may have irreparably damaged the ties between wrestlers in the AWC locker room – this man… this one man who was brought in by the AWC Board of Directors to save this company from bankruptcy has, without a doubt, done much less good than bad here in the AWC. And then there was that… grotesque spectacle at Coast To Coast and the poisoning of the mind of once fan-favorite David Harber – all in some way at least somewhat orchestrated by this man. I tell you Jeff, in the realm of criminal masterminds, Lex Luthor, Saddam Hussein and perhaps even Satan himself have NOTHING on this guy.
Jeff Marx: Are you done PMSing on national TV? Geez. The guy hasn’t even done anything yet.
Dave Kern: Yet. That’s the frightening thing.
By now, Drake has made his way into the ring and his music stops playing once he grabs Announcer’s microphone. He immediately goes to say something but the crowd will have nothing of it as they shout numerous obscenities and threats towards the center of the ring. The crowd is, in fact, so enraged by Drake’s presence that they cannot organize a single chant and their individual cries run together into unintelligible garble. Kasidy simply smiles and speaks anyway.
Kasidy Drake: I don’t speak Portuguese – mind you, I don’t need to seeing as how my company’s interests lie only in countries that actually have substantial capital, and speak English – but I assure you all my European friends that I have the authority and the itchy will to not only end this show here and now if you don’t shut the hell up and listen, but to never bring another AWC product to this pathetic excuse for a continent. We don’t need you – you’re the ones who paid to come here and watch the product that I’m paying for.
The crowd boos more loudly than ever, but after it subsides they are fairly quiet.
Kasidy Drake: Anyway…
Dave Kern: Give me a break. This man has no regard at all for the AWC fans who are the ones that REALLY make all of this possible. To hell with Drakewerx and its money.
Jeff Marx: Shhh!
Kasidy Drake: It seems to be a common cliché in the Neanderthal world of professional wrestling – the bad guy does something even worse than usual for his character, and then upon the very next event, they come out to the middle of this very ring, look you all in the eyes and tell you exactly why they did what they did. Quite frankly, ever since Coast To Coast’s ending, I found myself seriously debating whether or not I should come out here tonight and explain myself. About five seconds later, I realized that I could give a damn about what any of you fatass American slobs watching this on TiVo right now or any of these terrorist-breeding countries in Europe thought about what I did or why I did it. The fact of the matter is – and I apologize to my newest business associate Mr. Harber for upstaging him - that I am the most powerful singular entity in the Atlantic Wrestling Club and a multibillionaire probably capable of buying this entire goddamned country right now and turn it into my own personal golf course.
The boos flare up again. Several fans attempt to chant “Europe!” but not enough people are willing to take their attention off of Drake.
Kasidy Drake: But you know what, this isn’t some crappy piece of fiction – this is real life – and real life doesn’t have flat characters. Every being in this building and on this Earth are as complex as the very nature of our universe itself. I have my motivations for what I’ve been doing here in the AWC for the past couple of months, just like you have your own equally complex reasonings and excuses for being the pathetic mere AWC and Drakewerx customers that you indeed are. And so, because I’m not a flat character, I cannot be totally evil, which means that even though you by no means DESERVE an explanation, I can reach deep down into this soul of mine and be gracious enough to tell you my piece of this weird tale called EMPIRE as my personal gift to you all.
The crowd has another round of boos and derogatory chants.
Dave Kern: More hot air from this guy? A personal gift? THAT’S the complex mystery here.
Kasidy Drake: I do realize that my new business associates have formed this alliance with me for more… familiar reasons than I. And I also realize that the one associate whom betrayed me several days ago after squirming his way into the position of commissioner like a fat and dirty pig has his own reasons for doing what he did equally as familiar to the AWC as the loyal rest – which does not excuse his actions, and he will be punished severely and crushed like an insect when I become bored. However, I’ve stated publicly again and again that my heart does not and never did lay with this so-called “sport” beyond the money. I’m simply doing what I’m doing because I’m a vindictive and manipulative bastard who receives pleasures better than those of a mid-afternoon blowjob by some girl that none of you cretins have the capacity to attract. Yes, regrettably I cannot be the flat totally-evil character that I strive to be, but I certainly am having fun trying.
Jeff Marx: Hmm. Wasn’t expecting that.
Dave Kern: This guy is officially out of his mind! He’s a sick, sick little man.
Kasidy Drake: Do you think that it’s an accident that I’ve been involved in so many horrible and unfortunate events here in the AWC? Do you really think that I would let a small unmarked vial of my Prometheus Serum make its way into the Educator’s dressing room the day of his AWC tryout? And do you think for a second that I wouldn’t have sued the privates off of everyone involved in the scandal revolving around my “stolen” Prometheus Formula if it had really been stolen? Do you think that it was only an accident that I strung that bitch and probable future Amsterdam resident and employee – if you know what I mean - Sasha Volkyeva along for all of these months letting her think that she really had a chance in hell of running the company that I’m pumping millions into without any previous promoting experiencing? Do you think that I split up the stupid little “family” known as the AWC locker room up across an entire freaking ocean because I thought it’d be a fun little gimmick? Or that I’d financially-fuel an unnecessary roster expansion that was doomed to fail from the beginning and would ultimately lead to the “necessary” laying off of half of the AWC staff because I’m just that stupid – like I don’t successfully run one of the fastest growing Pharmaceutical companies in the world right now? Because if you did, then all of you idiots are even BIGGER idiots than I thought, and for that I apologize. I apologize for underestimating your severely limited skills in the field of processing information. I did it because it was fun!
Dave Kern: I don’t believe I’m hearing this…
Kasidy Drake: I did, and am doing what I do because I like ruining these people’s lives. I severely enjoy the fact that hundreds of ex-AWC employees are out of work and are going to have their homes foreclosed-upon and that their kids won’t have any way to eat. All the while, I sit at home smoking fat cigars, drinking crystal, and wiping my ass with hundred dollar bills while the rest of you fools bust your asses from nine-to-five everyday to bring home a measly three or four hundred dollar check. Like right now, I don’t HAVE to be here – I don’t WORK for anybody – I’m here on a whim because I was bored and I felt like flying to Portugal to bask in the afterglow of what happened at Coast To Coast. And the hilarious thing is that the Board of Directors is going to keep me where I am power-wise in this company because I’m good for business, and I’m paying the bills. My strategies, though cruel will save this company nearly a million dollars by the end of this fiscal year alone – and that’s just considering the past three months and the previous dark age known as the pre-Drake era. And in the meanwhile, I collect dividends for my trouble. And even though all of you poor wrestling fans out there are bawling your eyes out over the fact that everything wrong that I’ve done I’ve done on purpose – and carefully – for kicks, you’re all hanging onto my every word and you’re all going to tune in next week to see whose life I ruin next. Because that’s just the kind of guy that I am.
Dave Kern: This is… this is just unreal. In all of my years as a commentator and as a fan, I’ve seen a lot of horrible people come and go and say a lot of horrible things, but this, by far, is the most purely evil man that I have ever … I mean… MY GOD!
Jeff Marx: For once. I’m going to have to agree with you. I’ve never heard of someone doing so many horrible things on purpose for no good reason – just because they thought that it was funny. Sasha Volkyeva may not have been popular by any stretch of the imagination, but to hear that this entire brand extension “trial period” was just a scam to get her hopes up for three months only to rip it all away from her… that takes some concentration to do. For three months! And imagine how much money came from his pockets to pull it off! It’s… impressive!
Dave Kern: I don’t buy it. There has to be something else. Some deeper reasoning behind this. There always is. Wrestling may be about good guys and bad guys, but for the love of God, even the bad guy doesn’t shoot Santa Clause on Christmas in front of an orphanage for a thrill! With all of this guy’s brains and success, there just has to be a reason. Something!
But Kasidy’s face looks completely truthful. Extra arena security begins to appear as the crowd becomes more unruly by the moment.
Jeff Marx: Why? Why can’t a guy just be evil? Because I assure you my friend that if there ever were someone who just woke up one day and decided to be evil personified, you’re looking at him. He’s a genius and a billionaire, yes, but so is Osama Bin Laden. And Drake looks to be loving every moment of this.
Dave Kern: The other question is… why in the hell would David Harber, Pierce Lavelle, or anyone in their right minds associate themselves with this entity – entity, not person, because Kasidy Drake has proven tonight that he definitely has no soul!
Jeff Marx: Well. To be fair, he did spend a year over at Core dressed in a smiley face mask crucifying and burning the bodily remains of one of his opponents’ recently deceased wives. He’s never been a saint.
Kasidy Drake: But anyway, as I was saying… you’re all going to tune in next week to see what I do next and whose life gets ruined. But quite frankly, as previously noted, I am a generous and giving man. And so, I’m not going to make any of you wait until next week. No, no, I’m going to give you what you – deep down in the dark crevices of your soul – really tuned in to see right here tonight in Portugal.
Jeff Marx: What?
Dave Kern: I think I’m going to be sick…
Kasidy Drake: Now, Coast To Coast is a big event – even without an entire Empire being formed – and in the weeks leading up to it, I was contacted by several people who had worked for the Atlantic Wrestling Club years ago towards the beginning of its inception and wanted to be that close to glory and to fame once again. And so I decided to give them a tryout match: something that I used to do back in Core called a “Smile With Style Invitational” – however, considering my change in circumstances, let’s just call it a “Drakewerx Invitational.” Two tag teams wanted a tryout match, and so I’m giving it to them. They’re going to compete in a match in which the winner is automatically rewarded a pre-signed provisional AWC contract for one year. I flew them from America to Portugal first class, booked them a wonderfully extravagant suite at one of the most beautiful hotels in all of Portugal for the chance to compete live on television for another shot at AWC fame. Moreover, logically speaking, just by being on TV, even if they loose, they’ll have enough face-time to get them a job somewhere no doubt. So let me get out of the ring and let this thing go down.
Some fans warily cheer, excited at the prospect of new duos.
Dave Kern: That doesn’t sound right. Something’s not right.
Jeff Marx: I don’t know. Maybe we were too quick to judge. Anyway, the more important question is what former AWC tag teams---
California Love!
Suddenly the letters “gWo” flash on the big screen and the arena becomes painted with purple strobe lights as “California Love,” by 2Pac and Dr. Dre begins to play. Three vaguely familiar faces stroll onto the stage – Samuel Wright, Patrick Hart, and Cindy.
Jeff Marx: …is that…?
Dave Kern: No! It can’t be! IT’S RAINBOW FLAG AND CINDY! THE GAY WORLD ORDER IS HERE!
Jeff Marx: Oh. I thought it was the Ream Team. Where’s Steven when you need him?
Rainbow Flag, clad in the most flamboyant wrestling attire possible, dance their ways to the ring while the tomboyish Cindy silently strolls down the aisle behind them.
Dave Kern: Well this impromptu match is apparently featuring the Atlantic Wrestling Club’s first – and short-lived – homosexual tag team and their rather menacing… associate I guess … Cindy Riley. Collectively, they were briefly known as the Gay World Order.
Jeff Marx: Well I don’t know when the Gay World Order lost their contract with the Atlantic Wrestling Club, but in any event this is the first time we’ve seen these jobqueens on television in about a year.
Dave Kern: Well, no matter how odd they were, Rainbow Flag was a formidable in-ring force when they were regulars here in the AWC – once in the bid for the Alliance championships before they vanished. I don’t know which poor soul Dr. Drake is pitting against the two of them or why, but apparently we’re going to find out. Boy, Rainbow Flag looks to be in great physical shape.
Ghost of Steven Smith: Oh damn straight!
Samuel and Patrick are both in the ring by now leaning against the far corner of the ring whispering to one another, their faces rapt with focus. Their music finally fades and the lights return to normal. There is a long silence.
Jeff Marx: Well? Where’s the other side of this match?
WHO YOU CALLIN’ A BITCH!?
The crowd, further driven down memory lane, cheers as “Unity,” by Queen Latifah begins to play and the ebony Chantelle Moore and ivory Brittany Kelly – both dressed to represent the mean streets of Compton where they originated – walk onto the stage.
Jeff Marx: Jesus Christ, all we need now is Meanstreak and the White Mexican to make this shindig completely retro. I’m surprised that these fans even remember UNITY. It’s like … if God were a writer or something and suddenly ran out of ideas and decided to just rehash some old barely-developed characters as a plot device.
Dave Kern: That’s crazy talk – this isn’t a television script, this is real life. Anyway, I remember them. The tough no-nonsense female street fighter known as Chantelle Moore and the somewhat shy, but just as rough Compton luchador, Brittany Kelly. Together they made up UNITY, a surprisingly good –
Dave pauses for Jeff to snort.
Dave Kern: …all-girl tag team that fought male duos – and won. And this was before either Amy Silveira or Aimz came to AWC and made that commonplace. But we haven’t seen them in AGES. I wonder why they were given this opportunity to fight Rainbow Flag.
Jeff Marx: Will you slap me if I point out the obvious joke in having a duo made up of two male lovers managed by a butch lesbian go one-on-one against two beautiful women?
Dave Kern: Mmm (thinks about it) yeah pretty much.
UNITY simply gets into the ring and stand in the corner opposite to Rainbow Flag. The intensity is building to the point that the crowd has almost forgotten that Kasidy Drake is still standing outside of the ring. The bell rings as both teams assume the grapple-ready position simply itching to go at each other. The referee quickly reminds them to wait for the match to begin.
Rainbow Flag vs UNITY
STIPULATION: IMPROMPTU DUO TAG
REFEREE:
AUTHOR: K.J. MARTIN
Pierre Perroquet: Ladies and gentlemen, ze following eggzeebishon contest is officially sankzeeoned under ze aussority of ze Drakewerx Pharmaceutical Firm and it is a Drakewerx Invitational for a six-month provisional contract with ze Atlantic Wrestling Club. Introducing first, to my left, at a combined weight of four hundred and thirty-seven pounds, now residing in San Francisco, Califorrrnia (Jeff Marx: That seems about right.) Samuel Wright and Patrick Hart: RAINBOW FLAG!
The crowd cheers politely.
Pierre Perroquet: And from Compton, Los Angeles, Caleeforrrnia, at a combined weight of two hundred and twenty-one pounds, ze team of Chantelle Moore and Brittany Kelly – togezzair zey are UNITY!
Parrot of Perroquet: SQUAWK!
The crowd cheers again and the match looks to be underway. Suddenly “Going Hard,” by Talib Kweli begins to blare across the arena’s sound system causing both teams to flinch noticeably and turn to the entrance way to see what’s going on. Kasidy simply smiles. The song plays for a while without any appearance atop the stage. Both teams get out of their corners and begin to cautiously pace around the ring looking around nervously obviously thinking that someone is going to attempt to sneak-attack them from the crowd, but to their surprise, after about a minute, a very large figure emerges from behind the curtain.
Dave Kern: What in the hell…!?
Jeff Marx: Wow. I was just joking about that Meanstreak thing – even though Meanstreak wasn’t black the last time I saw him. This guy is flipping huge!
Pierre Perroquet: And zeir opponent, making ‘is professional wrestling debut from Freetown, Sierra Leone, weighing in tonight at sree hundred and seventy-five pounds… LEVAR KINTU!
Dave and Jeff: IT’S A HANDICAP MATCH!?
Juggernaut Kintu vs Rainbow Flag / UNITY
STIPULATION: IMPROMPTU HANDICAP
REFEREE: n/a
AUTHOR: K.J. MARTIN
LeVar Kintu stands atop the stage stone-faced with his arms crossed across his chest. Rainbow Flag beckons for him to get in the ring and fight while UNITY simply looks at the mountain of a man unsure of how to react, but Kintu looks at them, slightly smirks and shakes his head in a condescending manner. Just then, “Going Hard” stops playing and Kasidy speaks again. Cue boos.
Kasidy Drake: I forgot to mention that this was a handicap match didn’t I? Oops. This is a handicap match. Mr. Kintu here – who, for your information Mr. Parrot goes by the handle of JUGGERNAUT Kintu – is a personal project of mine whom I’ve been personally training for several months now in preparation of making him my own personal security guard. While all of that chaos was going on over the summer with the brand extension, I was in the gym giving Kintu the same special training that I had when I was still competing.
The crowd boos knowing immediately what “special training” means.
Dave Kern: Another Prometheus-head. He’s going to rip both of these teams to shreds. It’s sanctioned by Drakewerx so the ban on the Serum doesn’t apply. At least not in this match.
Jeff Marx: Even so, four-on-one? This isn’t the super-soldier serum we’re talking about here – I think ‘Flag and UNITY still have a pretty decent shot. They’re so slender and this Kintu guy is so big they can probably run circles around him.
Dave Kern: I don’t know. I’m getting a bad feeling about this. Really bad. Remember what Drake said before he brought these guys out. And that explains why he wasn’t around much during the brand extension – he was busy molding this African beast from Sierra Leone into… well I guess we’re about to see. It certainly won’t be normal.
Kasidy Drake: Anyway, what are you all waiting for? Ring the bell!
Ding, ding.
The crowd gasps in awe as Juggernaut Kintu races from the top of the stage area to the bottom of the aisle at near-superhuman speed, slides into the ring, and somehow without stopping utilizes all of his gathered momentum to spear Samuel Wright who is standing in the center of the ring – still at a loss for what to do – and “carry” him to the corner resulting him spearing Wright THROUGH the turnbuckle. The other turnbuckles automatically loose support and the entire ring falls apart in a sickening crash.
Jeff Marx: HOLY CRAP!
Kintu gets up almost automatically. Everyone else – including the referee and poor Perroquet, who hadn’t had the chance to get out of the ring in time – stays down. The crowd begins to chant “Holy shit!” as Kintu gets up and looks at Dr. Drake who motions for him to keep going. Kintu smiles from ear to ear and turns to pick up Patrick Hart. He backs away from him momentarily and then raises his right hand in a clawlike fashion.
Dave Kern: Now what? Is this still even a match? The ring … THERE IS NO RING! And the referee is still out cold. What’s this freak Kintu about to – MANDIBLE CLAW! MANDIBLE CLAW!
Hart is suddenly resuscitated by the sensation of having a hand thrust into his mouth. Unfortunately, Kintu’s hand is so large that it causes the sides of his mouth to tear and begin to bleed almost immediately. Kintu tightens the hold without mercy staring into Hart’s pleading eyes with some sort of sick pleasure before putting his free hand up Hart’s lower back and lifting him up, holding him in mid-air for about ten seconds and then slamming him into the remnants of the ring – a mandible chokeslam. However, he doesn’t stop there and he keeps his mandible claw hold locked on from a kneeling position with Hart firmly on the ground. Hart’s garbled cries for help sicken the audience.
Dave Kern: Somebody stop this! This isn’t even a match! This is just… wrong!
Jeff Marx: Patrick Hart’s losing a lot of blood. And it doesn’t help that he’s being strangled either.
Cindy, who is concerned about her clients and friends Rainbow Flag races into the broken ring and flails her tiny fists against the calloused ebony armor known as LeVar Kintu’s back. The crowd screams for her to run away, but it’s too late. Kintu, obviously much more annoyed that injured lets go of Hart – who goes limp – stands up and wheels around to face Cindy who, coming to her senses, begins to back away cautiously from the Juggernaut who is smiling sadistically and licking Patrick Hart’s blood from his fingertips. He mercilessly grabs her by her short blonde hair, but before anything horrible can happen, Chantelle Moore and Brittany Kelly both come from out nowhere and double-dropkick Kintu from behind causing him to stumble and release Cindy. He simply turns around and turns Kelly inside out with a stiff arm lariat. He then turns to Moore who refuses to back down and is trash talking this savage beast from the diamond mines of Sierra Leone. Kasidy Drake can be heard from ringside screaming “FINISH HER.” More-than-happy to oblige, Kintu stiffly kicks Chantelle Moore in the stomach causing her to double over. He then gets her into position for a fisherman’s suplex and lifts her up before letting her hang straight up in the air for several moments allowing the blood to rush into her head. The crowd is again repulsed when, rather than complete the suplex, he simply drives her head into the canvas – a fisherman’s brainbuster. Things look to be finished at last when Samuel Wright, still holding his stomach and bleeding from the mouth lunges at LeVar. Kintu turns around mere moments before he can make contact and takes him down to the floor with a drop toe hold and then sits on his back locking him in a modified camel clutch – modified by having his fingers pull his bloody mouth into a forced smile rather than apply the normal chin lock. Wright begins to cry out and immediately taps out.
Dave Kern: THE BIG SMILE! THE BIG SMILE! THAT’S ONE OF DRAKE’S OLD MOVES!
The referee finally comes to and after the initial shock of seeing the condition of the ring he comes to his senses and rings the bell. Kintu fails to relinquish the hold until several moments after the bell has rung. “Going Hard,” by Talib Kweli begins to play once again. The crowd boos as Kasidy Drake makes his way into the shattered ring and raises his monster’s arm in victory – as the referee is unable to do so. He also performs the duties of Pierre Perroquet who is still knocked out from the initial collapse of the ring.
Kasidy Drake: Here is your winner, JUGGERNAUT KINTU! HAHAHA!
The scene fades to black with the fleeting image of Kasidy Drake and Juggernaut Kintu standing in the midst of what looks the aftermath of some sort of natural disaster as EMTs rush toward the ring to check on Rainbow Flag and UNITY and the ring crew makes their way down the aisle as well to fix the ring.
The Jewel Of The Sea
FEATURING: ELLIS NASH, JOHNNY LEXICON
AUTHORS: KRIS (KLONE) AND LIA
She stands the picture of aesthetic achievement, as dangerous to all red blooded men as a triple fudge sundae is to a fat kid. Irresistible is too easy a word. As all great icons, her presence alone wards away the attention of all but the bravest or thick-headed.
"Ellis Nash." Johnny Lexicon leans against the opposing wall.
Brave or stupid? You decide.
Ellis Nash decides the latter. She gives him barely a glance before returning to Verizon Wireless' verzion of Zuma.
Johnny waits.
Johnny gets nothing.
Johnny blinks.
Johnny Lexicon: Normally when two people meet, they tend to exchange pleasantries.
Ellis doesn't spare the glance this time.
Ellis Nash: Except, you know. No.
Johnny cocks an eyebrow.
Johnny Lexicon: And why not?
Ellis Nash: You're the dickhead who cost us the match, dickhead.
Johnny grins.
Johnny Lexicon: This again?
No glance. Ellis jams her thumb against the 'OK' button.
Ellis Nash: You betrayed us, assface.
Johnny Lexicon: Despite no small amount of effort on your part.
Ellis Nash: And the compliments start?
Johnny gives his head a shake.
Johnny Lexicon: You're complicating the situation. You're telling me, given the chance to take that belt, you wouldn't have done it?
Ellis blinks, looks up, smiles.
Pauses.
Ellis Nash: I would have done it right.
The end.
Using a foot, Ellis pushes herself off of the wall and begins her journey down the hallway.
"Ellis!" Johnny says before she can get too far away.
With a roll of the eyes, Ellis turns just in time to see him toss something in the air.
Johnny Lexicon: My name's Johnny.
She catches it deftly. A trinket, a cheap glass pendant from the cruise liner's gift shop. A small engravable plate reads: The Jewel of the Sea.
When she looks up again, Johnny's already walking away.
Acht Yah
FEATURING: DARCY CRISIS, GARBAGE BAG JOHNNY
AUTHORS: JOSH K. AND NATE
The camera focuses in on a shot of a television screen, the fuzzy images caused by its being filmed show scenes from the Jewel of the Seas match where Gabriel Afeaki is tearing everyone up. After GA finishes Red Rock, thus becoming the Relentless Champion, the screen is turned off by a finger. The camera follows up the arm to reveal Darcy Crisis, and standing next to the self styled “D Masta C” is none other than his opponent from months past and again tonight, Garbage Bag Johnny. They’re both wearing their newly acquired titles, GBJ’s now thirty pound monstrosity dwarfing the Frontier strap around Darcy’s waist. Still, the combined glow of the title is nearly blinding, so both men are wearing sunglasses at night.
Garbage Bag Johnny: So let me get this straight. That big, angry Samoan giant who mercilessly crushes people to get his jollies is going to be in the main event with us tonight?
Darcy Crisis: Fuck. We're screwed. We're so screwed. My first night as a champ, and they're gonna send me out to get maimed. FUCK!
Garbage Bag Johnny starts pacing back in forth to generate some sort of strategy. He comes up with one quickly, because its easy to come up with a quick strategy when you don’t care if it’s feasible or if it even makes sense.
Garbage Bag Johnny: This GA, guy. He likes to tear people limb from limb, right?
Darcy nods, waiting for GBJ’s point.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Well, he can’t do that if we don’t bring our limbs to the ring! What say we mummify our arms and legs into one lumpy, preservative mass? That way, we’ll have the added advantage of fooling him into thinking we’re actual mummies. I don’t care how big or Indonesian GA is. You can’t fight a mummy’s curse with muscles.
Darcy takes off his sunglasses, realizing that it was probably coming off on TV like a bad Stevie Wonder impression.
Darcy Crisis: Well, umm... that was very good, for a first try. But mummifying ourselves isn't going to save us from getting maimed.
Garbage Bag Johnny: You’re right. I forgot about the maiming part, but Hyde said that the winner gets a new GTT6. That’s a luxury sedan, right? I could really go for one of those. Sick of footing it around; I’m wearing out my shoes. So we need to find this GA guy’s weakness and exploit it or else he’s going to hospitalize us, and no offense or anything, but if we end up rooming in the ER, I don’t know if I can handle Aimz coming to visit. She’s pretty loud, and there’ll only be a curtain to separate us, and I need my beauty rest and cucumber facials.
Darcy shoots the Garbage Man a look that suggests the Darcinator just received a bit too much information.
Darcy Crisis: Look, if we end up in the hospital tonight, I'll make the nurses promise not to room us together. Believe me, I don't want to get in the way of your cucumber rituals. But you're right, we've got to find a weakness...
Darcy strokes his chin for a moment, before something appears to dawn on him.
Darcy Crisis: Wait! I've got it! Quick, Johnny, can you count to two?
Garbage Bag Johnny: I was never a hand at arithmetic.
Darcy Crisis:Here, let me spell it out for you.
Darcy holds up a finger on his left hand.
Darcy Crisis: Let's pretend this finger is that freakish monstrosity they call GA. It's just ONE finger. See?
Darcy holds up two fingers on his right hand.
Darcy Crisis: And these TWO fingers are you and me. The Garbage Man and the D-Train. Now if it looks like GA is about to tear one of us apart... there's ONE extra finger to save the other!
Darcy then hooks the lone finger on his left around one on the right, and starts tapping the extra finger to clarify his point. It looks a lot better if you picture it in your head, and would be even better if Darcy still had his sunglasses on.
Garbage Bag Johnny: I think I get where you’re coming from.
Garbage Bag taps on his nose twice, coincidentally of course.
Garbage Bag Johnny: There’s only one problem. What happens if he attacks us somewhere other than our fingers?
Exasperated, Darcy just looks at his opponent turned potential ally.
Darcy Crisis: Does the word metaphor mean anything to you?
Garbage Bag Johnny: Of course it does. I had a fling with Ellis Nash…
GBJ looks around, making sure Pierce Lavelle isn’t anywhere to hear this. Luckily, the coast is clear and GBJ is safe from potential attempts at debt collection… from Lavelle anyway.
Darcy Crisis: Really? Gross.
Garbage Bag Johnny: She’s a stallion, Darcinator. Maybe we could swap one night. What do you say?
Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.
Darcy Crisis: We'll see, champ. But let's not get ahead of ourselves... we need to hash out a game plan if we're going to take down this Samoan bulldoze---
Garbage Bag Johnny: Whoa man, cool it! You're about a step and a half away from blatant trademark infringement.
Darcy Crisis: Wow... thanks for catching me there. What I meant to say was, Samoan... backhoe. That's right. We need a plan to handle this Samoan backhoe.
Garbage Bag Johnny: Eureka! We’ll focus on a moral victory. I’ve heard things; things about his wrestling trunks. As long as we dress better than him, we’re the true winners. Even if GA wins the match, he won’t be the best dressed, and if he’s not the best dressed, did he really ever win anything?
Darcy Crisis: Dude, you're homeless. You really think you're gonna win any fashion contests?
Garbage Bag Johnny: Shut up, and put your shades back on. We’ve got more gold than Fort Knox. Gold is the new pink.
Stretch Of No Imagination
FEATURING: MIKE WADE, MICKEY MOORE
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
Mike Wade has a huge grin on his face. Leaving a conversation with AgentDash and brashly striding through the corridors, AWC’s new Commissioner is relishing the power of his role; not just because it allows him to return to television in the promotion he loves, but also because his actions at Coast To Coast precipitated his self-selection as the one man to spearhead the resistance against The Empire. TFWing David Harber was a masterstroke in winning over the locker room, and now he returns to his office ecstatic at his night’s networking.
Approaching the door marked “COMMISSIONER”, Mike Wade swells with pride. But, pushing the door open, pride deflates faster than a passenger seat airbag in the opposite direction, replaced by shock and then anger.
His office has been completely trashed.
Papers are everywhere, his desk is overturned, his window smashed. But all of that is immaterial to Wade by comparison with the bloodstained note he finds at his feet.
”Your midget buddy got in our way, so we thought he needed to grow up a little.”
“Mike... help...” That rasping voice, and Wade looks around. And up.
One ceiling tile is missing. In its place, his wrists attached by rope to the pipes that snake above the ceiling, legs flailing and body exhausted, muscles stretching and tensing to keep his shoulders from dislocating, hangs Mickey Moore.
B.O.T. vs Ken Kaze vs Lance Owen
STIPULATION: NEWCOMERS' THREE WAY FURY
REFEREE: AARON DAVIES
AUTHOR: KRIS (KLONE)
Ken Kaze and Lance Owen are already inside the ring staring each other down when 'Cowboy' by Portishead starts playing. The unimpressed crowd give an unenthusiastic cheer as B.O.T makes his way down the ramp.
Dave Kern: In the wake of some serious changes and the biggest wrestling event of all time we have three fresh-faced newcomers looking to walk away with the almighty debut win.
Jeff Marx: That was a long sentence. Did you spend all night thinking it up?
B.O.T charges the ring and slides in on his belly, he slams Owen with a hard right hand and follows with one for Ken but Ken ducks. The bell rings.
Dave Kern: That signals the start of this match up with gusto.
Kaze hits B.O.T with a forearm shot. Lance Owen hammers him from behind and B.O.T hits the mat hard. Owen and Kaze exchange a long look before pulling B.O.T to his feet.
Dave Kern: B.O.T's fired up way of getting things started looks to be backfiring.
Jeff Marx: Is the enemy of my enemy, my friend? Or my enemy?
Dave Kern: How poetic.
The combined Owen and Kaze send B.O.T for a ride into the ropes, he ducks under the double clothesline and comes up with a hard back elbow for Kaze. Owen kicks him in the side and scoops B.O.T into a DDT position. Owen drops but B.O.T holds! Owen hits the matt empty handed. Kaze comes from behind and misses a huge haymaker! B.O.T gathers him up quick.
Jeff Marx: Belly to back suplex, that's gotta suck.
Dave Kern: Owen and B.O.T exchanging blows as Ken Kaze takes a moment outside the ring.
Owen blocks a right and kicks B.O.T in the gut, he bounces off the ropes and comes back with a nasty axel kick to the head.
Dave Kern: Oooh.
Jeff Marx: That was precision timing and B.O.T has yet to move.
Owen bends down over B.O.T and taunts him with a slap to the back of the head. Kaze spears him from the side.
Dave Kern: Ken Kaze out of nowhere!
Jeff Marx: Bastard is sneaky. I like sneaky.
Kaze straddles Owen and hammers him with lefts and rights. Getting back to his feet hastily he makes for the ropes. Perching precariously on the top turnbuckle Kaze looks back to see Owen on his hands and knees and changes targets.
Moonsault flips off the top rope! B.O.T moves!
Jeff Marx: Damnit!
Dave Kern: B.O.T narrowly avoiding that huge moonsault flip.
Jeff Marx:I don't like the way Ken is holding his knee.
Dave Kern:Owen is back on his feet and hammers B.O.T from behind.
B.O.T spins around as Owen is coming off the ropes. Scoop slam! B.O.T holds for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
Ken Kaze breaks the count with a desperate elbow drop on B.O.T. Unfazed the Six foot eight dominator rolls to his feet and bears down on Kaze, still clutching his knee. A swift kick has Ken calling out, B.O.T descends on the leg and gathers it up, he steps over and sits down locking in the single leg Boston crab.
Dave Kern: It's all happening so fast.
Jeff Marx: It's so diabolical, B.O.T works the obviously injured leg of Ken Kaze and Owen is just sitting back watching, does he even realize that if Ken taps out this match is over?
Dave Kern: He won't have to worry about that, Kaze has a hold of the bottom rope and Aaron Davies is breaking the count.
Jeff Marx: These are kind of new blood I like to see, violent, ruthless.
Dave Kern: Kinda none too bright?
Jeff Marx: Beggars, choosers.
B.O.T breaks the hold as directed and gives the knee one last stomp before turning for Owen and finds a drop kick. B.O.T hits the mat hard and Owen leaps on him, rights and lefts, rights and lefts! The big man screams and powers Owen off of him.
Dave Kern: Incredible display of power!
Jeff Marx: Owen doesn't look like he believes it either!
Lance comes down on B.O.T again but the powerhouse is already back on his knees and blocks the first right, hammering Owen in the kidney. He blocks a left and shoves Owen into the ropes. Lance comes off fast but not fast enough he goes up!
Dave Kern: B.O.T is teasing him! Holding him in the air like that.
Jeff Marx: Muahaha. Pump handle slam.
Dave Kern: Ken Kaze again out of nowhere trips B.O.T out of the ring!
Jeff Marx: Hahaha! He's going for a cover on Owen!
ONE!
TWO!
Dave Kern: B.O.T's got his ankle! He's pulling him out of the ring!
Ken kicks at him with his good leg and lands a solid heel in B.O.T's kisser.
Jeff Marx: B.O.T's lips just got busted open! And Ken Kaze scrambles to make another cover, hooking the leg this time.
ONE!
TWO!
Owen gets his shoulder up and Davies signal a two count. B.O.T charges back into the ring and kicks Kaze's knee, and then again. Ken tries to roll away but B.O.T catches him by his hair and starts pulling him to his feet.
Dave Kern:Ken Kaze is a bad spot and heavily favoring his good leg.
Jeff Marx:Look at that power.
B.O.T slaps Ken across the face but keeps a hold on his hair. Ken swings but B.O.T holds him back out of reach and slaps his again. Owen takes his leg ouf from behind, Ken catches on real quick and hammers B.O.T with a forearm shot to the chest. B.O.T goes down hard.
Dave Kern:Double team effort by Kaze and Owen.
Jeff Marx: I'm starting to wonder if that's what it's going to take to stop B.O.T from winning this match.
Owen is back on his feet as Kaze beats on B.O.T with right hands. Lance backs up and swings!
Dave Kern: Wow, ouch!
Jeff Marx: What a boot to the side of the head, Ken Kaze just had his bell rung!
Owen makes for a cover.
ONE!
B.O.T breaks the count, pulling Lance to his feet from behind but doesn't let him turn around.
Jeff Marx: Reverse DDT and B.O.T makes a cover.
ONE!
TWO!
Lance gets his foot on the rope.
Dave Kern: Lance Owen showing an incredible amount of heart in his first performance.
Jeff Marx: If by performance you mean butt whooping I completely agree.
B.O.T pulls Owen to his feet and without hesitation practically flings the smaller man into the ropes. He comes off fast and B.O.T scoops him up and throws him clear over the top rope.
Dave Kern: OH MY GOD!
Jeff Marx: He just turned Owen into a human javelin!
Dave Kern: He's looks real hurt, he hit the floor hard.
Jeff Marx: Ken Kaze looks likes he's trying to get away as B.O.T stalks him down.
Ken makes the ropes when B.O.T grabs his legs, Ken holds on but B.O.T pulls.
Dave Kern: It's becoming a war of determination, if Ken lets go it could be over.
B.O.T lifts Ken's legs high and then hammers his knees down into the matt. Kaze releases the rope to hold his knee and B.O.T strikes. Dragging Ken away from the rope he wraps his arm around Ken's bad leg and steps on his other before twisting.
Dave Kern: This is diabolical.
Jeff Marx: This is called efficiency! Look at Ken scream and squirm.
Kaze hammers the mat out of necessity, B.O.T holds it only a moment longer, a breath away from breaking the limb, and releases.
'Cowboy' by Portishead starts playing.
Dave Kern: Decisive win by B.O.T in his AWC debut.
Jeff Marx: Decisive puts it lightly, he was dominating. He's big, strong, and he knows how to wrestle. Mark my words, this man is going to hurt somebody.
Dave Kern: I'm as concerned as you are.
Jeff Marx: Concerned? I can't wait for it!
Audacious Chainz
FEATURING: DAVID HARBER, TRACY STANTON, CHAINZ
AUTHOR: MIKE S.
David Harber is seen backstage, drawing a lot of boos from the crowd in attendance. They still haven’t forgiven him for his actions, but that doesn’t seem to affect him in the least. He’s finally gotten the power he always wanted and he couldn’t give a damn what the people think of him. With that power he can do anything he wants. It’s this mindset that allows him to approach Tracy without a care in the world.
David Harber: Why hello honey.
He pats her on her butt giving her a start.
Tracy: What the hell… wha…
David Harber: Ha ha ha, don’t worry it’s just me.
She turns to face him, a bit worried that her boss was grabbing her ass and the fact that she couldn’t do anything about it.
Tracy: What are you doing!? Don’t touch me!
David Harber: I’ve been seeing you prance around this place, your big tits bouncing in my face and I’ve held my tongue and hands in check, but now I can do whatever I want.
Tracy: Don’t you ever touch me again. I may work for you, but I’m not a piece of ass for you to grab.
David Harber: You’ll be what I want you to be.
Chainz: Oh really, is that so?
AWC’s most hated man, even still, comes from around a corner and places his arm around Tracy’s shoulders. She draws herself near to his body to protect herself.
David Harber: Sloan, what are you doing here?
Chainz: I never leave my girl alone for long. There are a lot of sickos out there.
David Harber: You being one.
Chainz smiles.
Chainz: You really can’t talk Pearl.
His old name draws some ire out of the boss.
David Harber: Don’t call me that, I don’t go by that name anymore!
Chainz: I’ll call you whatever I want, boy. I don’t give a fuck who you think you are now; you’re still the bitch that jumps when I say so.
Chainz smiled as he saw the anger rising from Harber. He could always drive Harber crazy.
David Harber: You be careful Sloan, I’m not the same man that you used to insult.
Chainz: Please, nothing’s changed.
Chainz leaned in and whispered something into Tracy’s ear. She promptly looked at him and then left the scene.
David Harber: A lot’s changed. I’ll admit it; I used to be scared of you. When you’d come into my office, raving like the madman you are… well it was frightening, but now you’re nothing to me. You don’t scare me anymore. The Empire... we can crush you like an ant.
Chainz smiled a smile that said more than words ever could.
Chainz: You know, right here right now I could smash your skull into that wall and piss on your head.
David Harber: You even think about doing that and you’ll be in a world of hurt. Pierce---
Chainz: Won’t put a hand on me if he knows what’s good for him. Last time we had a tussle, he nearly got choked to death. I doubt he’ll want to go through that again.
David Harber: What makes you so confident, he’s a former three-time Transatlantic champion, what have you done?
Chainz gets right into the face of Harber, not showing him the fear and respect he expected and has been receiving from the rest of the roster.
Chainz: I don’t need titles for people to fear me, they know better.
David Harber: You might have most of the roster scared, but you touch me and Gabs will rip you apart.
Chainz laughs.
Chainz: GA is a pussy.
Some of the crew around the area turn their head in disbelief. Did they hear right? Was someone calling that freak GA a pussy? When they see Chainz they aren’t surprised it’s him.
Chainz: He lives off intimidation, but he doesn’t scare me. He might kick my ass for thirty minutes, but all I’ll need is a few seconds and that darkie will be down in no time.
David Harber: (turning his head to laugh) I highly doubt that.
Chainz: Then why you sweating so? You know me; you think anyone here could take me? Sure they might beat me in a match, but I’ll get them back. Look what happened to Aimz at Coast To Coast. That bitch will never be the same again, if she ever comes back that is.
David Harber: Big man, you beat a woman. Now if you’ll exc---
Chainz: I’ll beat anyone I have to. GA, Lavelle, you… your sister, your family, their families; all fair game to me.
Now Harber is starting to remember why he hates Chainz so much and why he does fear him. He’s the only wrestler he’s ever met that takes everything personal. He doesn’t stop in the ring, or with AWC people. He attacks families and innocents with no regard to anyone except himself. Not wanting to make a scene – at least, not until he has Afeaki and Lavelle with him to make it for him – he purses his lips and sucks it up, just memorising everything Chainz has said for later use.
David Harber: Listen Sloan, just stay out of my way and we won’t have any problems.
Chainz: True true, I’ll leave you alone for now, but when the time comes I might call on you for a favor.
David Harber: A favor? What makes you think I’d do anything for you?
Once again Chainz flashes a grin.
Chainz: Because I know something that could be quite useful for you.
What was it?
David Harber: That being?
Chainz: Well then you wouldn’t want to give me my favor now would you?
He pats him on the cheek.
Chainz: You take it easy Pearl, and remember you may run this place and control the roster with your little faction, but I’m on a separate level. You keep me in good graces and maybe I’ll help you out when the time comes right.
Chainz smiles and walks away. David Harber is stunned. Not at Chainz’ scare-tactics; he could have expected those. Not at the revelation that Chainz has information he could use; no, that’s the most basic of fronts. No, he’s stunned at the audacity of Michael Sloan. Every other member of the AWC roster quailed at the very mention of The Empire... but Chainz? Chainz... would have to be dealt with.
Generic Cryptic Message
FEATURING: n/a
AUTHOR: ???
Static.
Four seconds.
Black screen.
Fade In, Interior.
White font.
Bold.
Fade In.
Fade In.
Fade In.
Static.
End scene.
Imperial Beef
FEATURING: THE EMPIRE
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
“Pierce! You’re up.”
Pierce Lavelle looks up cautiously from his seat in the Empire’s sky-box and takes in the short, sharp salutation from AWC Entertainment Manager David Harber.
Pierce Lavelle: I'm up, eh?
David Harber: Chainz is your domain.
Lavelle’s eyes light up. Throughout all this, this period of change, one thing has remained constant – his bitter relationship with Michael “Chainz” Sloan. Grabbing a last chicken drumstick from the open box on the glass table in front of him, Lavelle hauls himself up out of his leather recliner and stands, ready for action.
Pierce Lavelle: Where and what?
David Harber: I don’t know what it is. There’s something he’s not letting on. He’s not like the others; he’s not...
Gabriel Afeaki: Scared?
Gabriel Afeaki saunters over from the other end of the room, his muscled body ready for action later in tonight’s main event.
David Harber: That’s right. He’s not scared... not nearly scared enough.
Afeaki turns towards Lavelle, sizing him up, then looks back at Harber.
Gabriel Afeaki: I’ll take this one.
David Harber: No.
Gabriel Afeaki: No?
David Harber: No.
Afeaki swallows, staring into the face of the man who wields so much power over him, then nods and backs away, sinking into the seat Lavelle had been occupying.
David Harber: Pierce and Chainz have history, Gabs. Besides. You’ve got to concentrate on your match. This is a must win. It’s not just about AWC; GTT6 is where we take the w---
Pierce Lavelle: Alright alright, he knows! You’ve been drumming it into us enough! Now where...
Lavelle trails off, distracted by the sight of two Afeakis walking into the room. At least, that’s what it looks like. The Prometheus-enhanced Juggernaut Kintu nigh on causes the floor to shake as he hulks his way into the sky-box. Dr. Kasidy Drake is not far behind.
Pierce Lavelle: Hey...
Drake looks directly at Lavelle.
Dr. Kasidy Drake: Good evening. I trust you’ve all met LeVar Kintu?
Lavelle nods vaguely. Afeaki says nothing, staring at the African monster.
David Harber: Kasidy! Have a seat; there’s food, I’ll send for some wine...
Dr. Kasidy Drake: LeVar must eat, he has been busy.
David Harber: Of course.
Kintu approaches the table. Afeaki turns away, happy to fill his plate, and grabs a fork, ready to spear it into the huge hunk of roast beef, ready-sliced on a silver platter. GA thrusts the fork into the centre of the beef... just as a huge black hand folds over the top of the hunk. Afeaki pauses, fork halfway in. Kintu pauses, hand firmly clasped. And then, slowly, their eyes meet.
The Coalition vs Delta Upsilon Iota
STIPULATION: DUO TAG
REFEREE: LARS LARSSON
AUTHORS: DAVE LARKIN AND RICHARD HUGGAN
Truth Waters: Here we are live on Fresh!, and boy does it feel good to be back after Coast To Coast, an event that was definitely a statement of intent by AWC to all of wrestling to say “We are the best there is!”.
George Cassidy: Who tells you to say this stuff, honestly? You can expect the cheque in the mail, I’m sure.
Truth Waters: Sure, I’ll be picking it up on the way out. Our next match tonight is The Coalition, the relatively inexperienced Wesley Reno and the ring veteran Phil Allen, teaming up against Colby Korver and Hank Cobb, Delta Upsilon Iota.
George Cassidy: Or just DUI, to save time.
Truth Waters: Yeah, whatever you say. The Coalition were victorious at Coast To Coast after a hard fought contest with PWC. As for DUI, Korver appeared in the East vs. West match, but came out on the losing side.
George Cassidy: The Coalition somehow managed to win the number one contendership to the Alliance championship. Now we’ll have to judge them more, since they’re in the spotlight just a little bit more. DUI will be a stern test for them before they get demolished when they come up against the champions.
Truth Waters: DUI are out to prove a point tonight, too, of course. They undoubtedly want to establish themselves as the main rivals to The Coalition to claim the Alliance championship. Let’s head down to ringside!
Pierre Perroquet: Ze following is a duo tag match and eet is scheduled for one fall!
Survivor's classic "Eye of the Tiger" begins to pump out of the P.A. system and the crowd come to their feet to greet the two silhouettes that appear, shrouded by a brilliant white light on stage. The strapping Wesley Reno, dressed in a short-sleeved black shirt, fully opened, and red wrestling tights, walks down the ramp way. Reno is followed closely by his personal trainer and mentor, Phil Allen.
Reno and Allen play to the crowd as they approach the ring. The two exchange words, then enter the ring under the bottom rope simultaneously to generous applause from the fans in attendance.
Pierre Perroquet: In ze ring, at a combined weight of 465 pounds... Wesley Reno and Phil Allen... THE COALITION!!!
The Coalition pose for the crowd and psyche themselves up for the upcoming contest.
Truth Waters: The Coalition looking primed and ready after a decent rest, it has to be said.
George Cassidy: What’s wrong with you tonight, Truth? You seem so… mellow.
“Master of Puppets” by Metallica begins to play on the P.A. system and the Portuguese fans in Lisbon come to their feet to greet the team of DUI. DUI appear from behind the curtain, accompanied by strobe lights and dry ice effects. DUI look focused for the upcoming contest, their gazes unwavering as they enter the ring.
Truth Waters: You can almost taste the intensity oozing from DUI. They’re raring to go!
George Cassidy: I’m raring to go, too… raring to go home.
Referee Lars Larsson steps back as DUI and The Coalition square up in the middle of the ring. Reno opts to start off the match before Allen, favouring the technical moves to begin with. Colby Korver agrees with Hank Cobb to start the match against Reno.
George Cassidy: Talk about a mismatch! Korver will crush Reno’s little stick body like… like a stick.
Truth Waters: You’re not making much sense. What makes you say that, anyway? Reno has shown in recent weeks that he can definitely stand up for himself in the ring when he needs to.
Reno and Korver tie up, with Korver backing Reno into the corner. Korver uses his superior strength to lift Reno onto the turnbuckle and begins pounding him with lefts and rights. Reno is quick to avoid a serious onslaught, however, and delivers a wicked kick to the side of Korver’s head. Reno dives off the top rope, landing behind Korver. Reno ducks an attempted elbow from the DUI member, then skilfully takes him down with a drop toehold, floating over into an armbar.
Truth Waters: Very cleverly done by Reno! He’s managed to turn the situation his own way almost seamlessly.
George Cassidy: Clever, my as—
Truth Waters: -George, keep your mouth zipped, bro! We need a swear jar for you…
George Cassidy: A swear jar? I wasn’t about to say what you thought. I was about to say “ability”.
Truth Waters: Clever, my ability? Yeah, right.
George Cassidy: Quit this, would you? We don’t need the third degree.
Reno works on Korver with the armbar, but Korver shows his athleticism and rolls away from the predicament, standing up and backing into the ropes. Reno whips Korver off the ropes, ducking a flying lariat attempt. Korver plays possum as Reno walks towards him. Korver then takes Reno off guard with a massive suplex to the canvas and makes the cover.
ONE!
Reno powers out before the two count, slightly dazed but not overly affected by the move.
Truth Waters: Reno shows his resilience there, but Korver and Cobb will do everything in their power to keep the weaker member of the team - in their eyes – inside of the ring.
George Cassidy: Look at Phil Allen on the ring apron, wailing like a spoilt child who wants his mommy.
Korver makes the quick tag to Cobb, who enters the ring with a head of steam, clotheslining the heck out of Reno as his momentum carries him forward… the behemoth rebounds off the ropes after the move and fires right back, slamming a big boot into the rising head of Wesley Reno as he returns…
Truth Waters: “Hank the Tank” in here and dominating, he drops to make a cover…
ONE!
TWO!!
George Cassidy: No dice, big fella! Just how big is this monster, Truth?
Truth Waters: I think Cobb is around three-fifty and he stands about six-five – he’s one of the larger men on our roster and his partnership with the smaller, more agile Colby Korver looks to be one of the most complimentary in the tag-team pool.
Reno, not being given a single moment to breathe in the so-far gruelling encounter scrambles towards his corner with an outstretched arm as Phil Allen calls him on, but he’s swiftly stopped in his tracks as Hank Cobb makes another speedy tag and Colby Korver drops a big knee into the small of Reno’s back. The native of New Jersey lets out a yell of anguish as a brief chant of his name rings around the Portuguese arena to try and stir him into life, but Colby has no plans on giving him any respite as he drops some powerful elbows down into his ribcage…
Truth Waters: Lars Larsson is in there quick to check that Wesley can still go… and things look good – it’s going to take a lot more from this powerful duo to keep Reno down like that.
George Cassidy: Hasn’t he been down for like two minutes already now?
Phil Allen slaps the top of the turnbuckle to gather more momentum behind his struggling tag partner and is again infuriated as Korver looks towards him with a cocky grin, but Larsson is quickly on the scene to diffuse the situation. With Reno down, Korver is again able to make a tag to his bigger partner and Hank Cobb doesn’t need a second invitation to put the hurt on his opponent as he steams into the ring with a couple of hefty knee-drops… backing off for a minute to allow Reno a little space to begin climbing back to a vertical base, the big man rushes towards him and slams a knee directly into his temple, drawings gasps from the crowd and causing Allen’s face to drop.
George Cassidy: Man-oh-man… that one HAD to hurt! Hank Cobb has been like a man possessed so far here tonight, he’s using his size perfectly to kick ass and he isn’t even bothering to take any names.
Truth Waters: Things are looking dangerous for the Coalition here, DUI have kept Wesley Reno isolated for a few minutes now and they’re gradually wearing him down with their brawling offence. The team from Orlando are in control as we head towards the five minute mark…
With the crowd naturally veering towards the current underdogs, Cobb realises that he cannot allow Reno to build even the slightest piece of momentum and he certainly can’t allow him to make a tag to the eager Phil Allen, so he grabs his far smaller opponent by the left leg and agonisingly drags him away from his corner and into the lion’s den, Korver applauds his partners’ wits and raises his right hand to tag back in, slamming a right boot immediately into the already-aching temple of Reno as he enters.
Truth Waters: As all good tag-teams do, Delta Upsilon Iota have halved our square circle here in Lisbon… they haven’t allowed Wesley Reno to get anywhere near to making a tag to his itching partner, it’s tag-team wrestling at its very best, but they’re going to have to keep up their guard because there are few better than the Coalition for swinging momentum in a- …OH THERE YOU GO! Reno with a HUGE shot to Korver’s gut!
“Hank the Tank” blasts the turnbuckle in frustration as the Lisbon crowd rally behind the resurgent Reno while he slams more and more tired right-handed shots into the bread-basket of his opponent… Korver stumbles backwards, just close enough to his corner so that Hank Cobb can slap him across the back and tag himself in… Realising that it’s two-on-one, Phil Allen is quick to try and intervene, but Larsson cuts off his entry – allowing Cobb to smash Reno across the head and drop him powerfully to the mat with a fallaway slam. Korver calls the referee back into position for the third count of the match…
ONE!
TWO!!
TH-NO!!!
Truth Waters: Ohhh… another near-fall there for Delta Upsilon Iota! Hank Cobb had the awareness to tag himself in there just as Wesley Reno was starting to build up a head of steam… that’s another advantage of keeping your opponent in your own corner – your partner is almost always close enough to make the desperation tag if it becomes required.
George Cassidy: Rather than it being “great tag wrestling”, don’t you think that just maybe DUI got a little lucky there?
Truth Waters: Perhaps so, but Korver was close enough to Cobb for the tag to be made – that’s all I’m saying… boy, do the Coalition need to get the “Hardman” in there – and fast. Wesley Reno has taken one hell of a beating here so far…
Phil Allen knows it, too – he’s again pounding on the turnbuckle, knowing that the fans getting behind Reno could potentially play a huge role in getting his team back into this match. Reno looks towards him apologetically as Cobb wraps him up in a bear-hug, wearing the tiring superstar down even further as he places his huge arms around his ribs and squeezes for dear life…
Truth Waters: Hank Cobb has Wesley Reno exactly where he wants him right now and this hold is starving him of any oxygen… as if it’s not bad enough that Reno has been isolated from his partner for the vast majority of the match he’s now gonna be struggling to even breathe – I don’t know how the twenty-three-year-old is staying in this match.
George Cassidy: Might have something to do with the fact that Phil Allen would probably kill him if he wasn’t holding on… we all know how much the so-called “Hardman” loves to win matches.
Truth Waters: You’ve gotta remember, though, that Reno is the rookie of this partnership… teams know to isolate him from the far-more experience Allen and that’s exactly what DUI are doing right now.
Lars Larsson is directly on the scene, again making sure that Reno is still with us… Wesley looks towards him with a shake to the head as he valiantly raises his right arm into the air to try and drum up some more support from the Portuguese crowd… Lisbon rallies right behind him with some rhythmic clapping (quite inspiring, don’t you know) as Allen joins in with some clapping of his own… Cobb sees the momentum returning and immediately has other ideas, letting out a loud growl as he locks the hold on even tighter than before… Reno can’t do anything but “yelp” in pain as his airflow is cut-off even more…
Truth Waters: I think Allen is going to have to take matters into his own hands here if there is to be any chance of The Coalition winning this match… he’s pacing up and down that apron like a caged lion and he seemingly cannot wait to get in there and get his hands on DUI.
George Cassidy: Well if he’s got any grand schemes then he’d better put them into effect pretty quickly because I’m not sure how much longer Reno can withstand this bear-hug!
The match official has no choice but to step-in and do the classic three arm-raises routine as Wesley Reno seems to lose all feeling in his body… He lifts up Reno’s arm the first time…
Truth Waters: …One drop of the arm from Reno… two more and DUI win this match! Look at Phil Allen screaming for Wesley… Lisbon is going nuts to try and keep him in this match, too!
Larsson again raises Wesley Reno’s arm and holds it for a brief moment before letting go of it once more…
George Cassidy: Oh boy! There’s no Hogan-esque arm wriggling her, it looks to me like Reno is well-and-truly out of this one, we’d better chalk up a win for- …WAIT A DAMN SECOND!!
Truth Waters: With the official distracted “Hardman” Phil Allen just burst in their and landed a double axe-handle on Hank Cobb!! Chaos reigns supreme in Lisbon as Colby Korver enters the fray now, too!
George Cassidy: Get some damn order in there, Larsson, you useless piece of crap… listen to these foreign idiots!
With no fatigue whatsoever, Allen goes nuts on the huge Cobb, slamming as many closed fists into his forehead as he can get away with… Lars Larsson tries to prevent his attack, but Korver barges right past the match official and swings a right hand towards the “Hardman”… Allen sees it coming and raises his left arm to block, before slamming a few choice rights of his own into the jaw of Korver… Not wanting to waste a second of the momentum, he whips Korver into the corner and spins right around to clothesline Cobb down to the canvas – causing the ring to shudder under the impact of the huge man’s fall.
Truth Waters: Larsson has lost control here for a moment and Phil Allen is on a ROLL… he’s just somehow took Hank Cobb off his feet with a beast of a clothesline and now he’s got Korver set-up in the corner… Reno, meanwhile, is gasping for breath in the middle of the ring – but at least he’s “come-to” after that huge bear-hug he just had applied onto him. WORKOUT by Allen! The man is in here like fire personified and Korver doesn’t know what’s hit him… lookout Phil!
Quickly back up to his feet after the clothesline, Hank Cobb doesn’t look the happiest he’s ever been and he’s got his sights set firmly on Phil Allen, although the match official is desperately trying to separate the two illegal men anyway, Cobb marches right through him and grabs Allen by the right shoulder, spinning him back around to face him before landing some huge fists to the forehead… With his previous momentum now quelled, the Portuguese crowd again find themselves in a dilemma over who to support now that the match seems to be on a more even keel.
George Cassidy: Who’d have thunk that a match between these two teams could be so damn exciting, huh? I literally have no idea at all over how this is gonna turnout – and I have to say, the referee losing control has made this a whole lot more fun!
Truth Waters: It seems that Larsson doesn’t need to escort Allen from the ring after all, Hank Cobb seems to be doing a good enough job of that as it is… DEACON DROP FROM “HANK THE TANK”! …NO! RENO OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE ROLL-UP!
ONE!
George Cassidy: How in God’s name is Reno even moving after all of the punishment that he’s just taken from Cobb and Korver!? It can’t end like this!?
TWO!!
Truth Waters: Korver is struggling to his feet, he’s desperately trying to break up the fall… can he make it!?
THREE!!!
Truth Waters: Korver just misses out… Larsson reaches “three”!! The Coalition win!!! How the hell did Reno keep the big-man down like that!?
George Cassidy: It wouldn’t have had anything to do with the fact that Cobb had just had Phil Allen land directly on top of him now, would it!? Whatever, though… one minute Wesley Reno looks down-and-out and the next minute he wins the match for his team!
Truth Waters: You cannot ignore Phil Allen’s contribution at all, though… he seized the moment when things were at their very worst as he broke up that bear-hug and then he went on a total rampage to completely knock DUI out of sync. What an enthralling piece of tag-team wrestling… the chaotic ending was just the icing on the cake!
George Cassidy: Well I personally don’t know how DUI have lost this match after the shift that they just put in – so much for the good guys sticking to the rules, huh?
As Phil Allen drags an exhausted Wesley Reno to his feet in order for Lars Larsson to raise their hands in victory, Hank Cobb and Colby Korver look at each other in disbelief from seated positions in the very middle of the ring. “Eye of the Tiger” plays away in the background as the Lisbon crowd applauds both teams for a fantastic fifteen minutes of pure action.
Truth Waters: I cannot state in words how much I just enjoyed that piece of wrestling right there, what a night we’ve had so far and there is STILL more to come… AWC has invaded Lisbon, Portugal for Fresh! in the best way here tonight, don’t be a fool, don’t turn over… there’s still a hell of a lot more coming your way!
Knowledge Is Power
FEATURING: CHAINZ, PIERCE LAVELLE, TRACY STANTON
AUTHOR: PIERRE HYDE
“Come on baby, just quickly, let’s---“
Pierce Lavelle: Sloan.
Staring at a closed door, Lavelle’s eyes are closed, trying not to imagine the scene within. Chainz never took no for an answer and Tracy would be in a state. Why does she stay with him anyway? All that he’s done. And now, just this one little thing Pierce had to do, and Sarah wouldn’t have it... why?
He knows why, really. Because Sarah is a better woman than Tracy.
The door opens.
Chainz: What the fuck do you want, Lavelle.
Chainz is topless, the buttons of his jeans undone. His intentions of the past minutes are clear.
Pierce Lavelle: I want to know what makes you think you can try and walk all over The Empire... when all David Harber has to do is click his fingers and you’ll be destroyed.
Lavelle clicks his own to accentuate the point. Tracy comes to the door behind Chainz, trying to peer first over, then under his shoulder to see. Her top is torn. She waves hi. Lavelle ignores her.
Chainz: I ain’t got nothin’ to be afraid of.
Pierce Lavelle: What proof do you want? Shawn Harris? Mike Wade and Mickey Moore?
Chainz: I can take care of myself, Lavelle.
Pierce Lavelle: Sloan, when I was injected with the Prometheus Serum, I felt like three times the man I was. And that was an old version. The stuff Drake’s pumping into Juggernaut Kintu... well, you saw for yourself.
Chainz: Like I said. I can take care of myself.
Pierce Lavelle: He’d break your neck in an instant.
Chainz: Lavelle! For fuck’s sake, I'm not talking physically.
And now Chainz smiles.
Chainz: I'm talking about what I know.
Chainz jabs the side of his head with his finger. Now Lavelle frowns.
Pierce Lavelle: What do you know?
Chainz: A hell of a lot more’n you want me to know. And I'm not talking, a hell of a lot more’n The Empire wants me to know. No, Pierce, I'm talking, a hell of a lot more’n you want me to know.
He presses his finger into Lavelle’s breastbone. Lavelle knocks his arm angrily away.
Pierce Lavelle: What are you talking about? There’s nothing---
Chainz: I heard your phone call, Lavelle. Last Fresh!. I was there. And I can put two and two together to make four.
Lavelle swallows, and calmly states:
Pierce Lavelle: You have no idea what you’re talking about.
But Pierce’s body betrays him; a bead of sweat runs down his right temple. Chainz bends close.
Chainz: Oh, trust me... legend... I do.
Pierce Lavelle: You can’t say anything... you can’t tell anyone...
Now Lavelle looks panicky, eyes darting all over the place, at Tracy, the walls, the floor, anywhere but Michael Sloan’s eyes.
Chainz: I’ll do what I want to do. Unless you make it worth my while...
Pierce Lavelle: What do you want? Anything!
Sloan slowly smiles.
Chainz: A romantic dinner with Sarah Kennedy. Make it happen, and I’ll spare ya.
Lavelle can’t say or do anything. But the biggest impact is on Tracy Stanton’s face. It’s hollow.
Prowling Grounds
FEATURING: ANTON ASSAULT
AUTHOR: OBINNA O.
WAAAAAAAARRRRRLOOOOOOOORRRRD!
Jeff Marx: The former Frontier champion!
The lights dim and a solitary figure steps out from behind the curtains as the guitar slide of "Warlord" by Lair of the Minotaur turns into the intense, chugging riff. A red spotlight casts down on the figure, showing it to be none other than the dashiki-clad Lion. Something's missing, though.
Dave Kern: Where's Luis?
Jeff Marx: Maybe he's just lurking around the back, being cautious in case Miss Darcy Crisis is going to jump out and try to spray him with her vagina…
Dave Kern: Stop it!
Jeff Marx: You can take dick jokes, but balk when I start to talk about va---
Dave Kern: Enough!
Lion makes his slow walk down the ramp, looking studiously at the ring. He climbs up the steps and slips into the ring, bringing himself to his full height. The lights come on slowly and, unlike nearly every other time that he has stepped into the AWC ring, he doesn't take off the dashiki in preparation for a fight. Instead… he calls for a microphone.
Dave Kern: Anton Assault on the stick?
Jeff Marx: I wasn't aware Anton could speak English.
Anton looks out to the crowd finally, a grave look on his face.
Anton Assault: Greetings, Lisbon; I am Antony Nnamdi Ozubike, better known as Anton Assault, the Lion.
Anton's Brazilian Portuguese is flawless and the crowd gives him a big pop for speaking to them in their native tongue.
Anton Assault: I apologize, but as a benefit for those who will be viewing this on television, I must say this as best I can in English.
Anton clears his throat, waiting for the cheers to die down.
Anton Assault: I… have traveled all world almost now with AWC. I have done many things. I have fought many people. Every week I come to fight, I did all I could, I fought to best of my strength. It has brought me… great fame.
Dave Kern: Or maybe infamy…
Jeff Marx: Shut up! I hope you're writing down his first words.
Dave Kern: What are you talking about?
Anton pauses a bit again.
Anton Assault: Yet, I find myself… how do you say… unsatisfied. I find people who hate me for fighting because of what I fight for. They don't want me to use my fists like I do. And now… I agree. For this reason, my friends, you will not see… Luis Ferrara… on AWC television any longer.
The Lisbon crowd gives a huge, booming cheer at this news.
Dave Kern: Anton has FIRED Luis!?
Jeff Marx: Say it isn't so!
Anton Assault: Now, I want say to Mister Crisis… I am very sorry. I apologize. What fight we fought was not like I wanted. I was pulled to fight because of Mister Billy Mays and Luis, not for competition. It has marred. The reason for which I fought were marred. You hold what maybe is yours by right now, but maybe not. It does not matter; the loss has punished me to make see that I must not go the path I have gone.
Anton stops and lowers his eyes for a bit more.
Anton Assault: And so I must say… I am done here in AWC. I do not know if this is my home yet, nor if I will ever return. I do not know if I be destined to be wrestler. I return to native coast, in one sense, to realm of mixed martial arts. I leave what legacy I have made with fists and feet with you. I leave naked, both of boon and bane. I bid you farewell.
Anton drops his microphone and pulls up his dashiki, lifting it over his head and dropping it on the canvas.
Dave Kern: … whoa!
Jeff Marx: I don't believe this! No, no, you can't… not like this! You can't leave! Isn't there some clause that forbids it!?
Anton climbs out of the ring onto the apron and drops to the ground. He walks up the ramp to no fanfare, no lights, nothing but the cheer of the Portugal crowd, a crowd that has seen in him a worth that was hidden under the veil of Luis Ferrara's mischief for so long. A dual-syllabic cheer that rings through the air.
”AN-TON!
AN-TON!
AN-TON!”
The Captain Speaks
FEATURING: CAPTAIN SULEIMON
AUTHOR: TOM HOLZERMAN
Backstage at the arena in Lisboa, and we have Captain Suleimon backstage with a microphone. On split-screen, there's Jeff Marx and Dave Kern, ready to ask the HARD~! questions.
Dave Kern: Alright, well – we’ve just seen Anton Assault’s in-ring resignation I suppose! And now just before we go to our main event, standing by with us backstage is Captain Suleimon, who was victorious at Coast To Coast over Jack Murphy. It's hard for me to say this, but that was a huge win for you over a former Transatlantic champion. How do you feel?
Captain Suleimon: Vindicated, David. You see, I made a demand of Jack Murphy to step in the ring to the end of one result. I said I was going to do something and I did it, even though you and the idiotic fans on both sides of the ocean refused to believe it. I knew it all along, David. And you know what? Seeing the looks on each and every single person's stupid face in that lousy sinkhole of an arena they have in New Jersey made me feel, as you common Western slime would say, "warm and fuzzy on the inside."
Jeff Marx: I never doubted you, Tariq.
Captain Suleimon: One, don't you EVER call me that again. Two, as much as you may enjoy it, I don't appreciate your nose being three-quarters of the way inside of my rectum. Please keep your mouth shut the rest of this interview.
Dave Kern: Such arrogance from someone who many pundits believe would not have won that match if it weren't for excessive cheating.
Captain Suleimon: Cheating? Cheating? You may have seen cheating through your biased eyes, but what I did was called doing what it took to get the victory. I did just what the pashas and vassals of Saladin would have done before me in Ottoman and Turkish lore. You Westerners and your rules. I scoff at them. I spit at them. I even throw my shoe at them.
Dave Kern: So you're not denying your actions?
Captain Suleimon: Of course not! Don't be absurd, a real man does not shy away from his actions. I'm not your President Bush or the President Clinton before him.
Dave Kern: But I'm not American.
Pierre Hyde: Yes you are. Actually I don’t know.
Captain Suleimon: All the same...
Dave Kern: Anyway, what words to you have for The Bull now that it's all over?
Suleimon pauses.
Captain Suleimon: Well, I will give him this... he fought better than any other person who fell under my grasp. HOWEVER, don't mistake that for a compliment. He still fell in supplicative fashion to my iron fist as was expected. He was but the first casualty of my rise to the Sultanate of AWC.
Dave Kern: Sultanate? You know what, I'm not even going to ask. Thanks for your time, Captain.
Captain Suleimon: The pleasure was all yours, I'm certain.
Suleimon's feed cuts out as we're back to just Dave and Jeff.
Garbage Bag Johnny vs Gabriel Afeaki vs Darcy Crisis
STIPULATION: NEW CHAMPIONS' SHOWCASE - BELTS LEGAL WEAPONS - GTT6 PLACE
REFEREE: MICHAEL RYAN
AUTHOR: JEREMY J.
Dave Kern: Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally reached our Main Event of the evening. It was only eleven days ago that we crowned three new champions, and tonight, those three champions will square off in a New champions’ Showcase Match: Garbage Bag Johnny, Darcy Crisis and Gabriel Afeaki. Each wrestler won the Transatlantic, Frontier and Relentless titles respectively.
Jeff Marx: David Harber promised the biggest Pay-Per-View of the year, and he delivered! With Garbage Bag Johnny, Darcy Crisis and Gabriel Afeaki as new champions, it’ll only usher in Harber’s new vision of AWC. And with Afeaki being apart of the newly formed Empire, both Crisis and GBJ are going to fear for their lives, because the “Fijian Animal” is the Relentless champion, and he’ll show everyone why.
Dave Kern: We’ve been waiting for a match like this for a long time and now it has come to fruition tonight! Let’s not waste anymore time flapping our gums about it! Let’s watch the action!
Pierre Perroquet: Ze following is a New champions’ Showcase Match! Ze championship title belts are legal weapons, and ze winner will receive a place for AWC in GTT6!
The arena plummets into darkness, leaving the unsuspecting crowd wondering what is going to happen next as multiple flashbulbs partially illuminate ringside. A few moments later, the Atlantic Tron flickers to life, showing only a black, empty screen. Immediately, there are two sets of silver points a few inches away from each other drawing outlines of the human eye. When the drawing is complete, the outlines open, revealing a pair of orange eyes with white irises and no pupils. Evil laughter fills the arena as the orange eyes slowly transform into lion eyes: a pale yellow-green base with feline irises. Underneath the eyes, these words in a blood red color appear...
The lights flicker back on as the evil, demonic introduction of Thorr’s Hammer Troll begins to play. From the curtain emerges a large chiseled Fijian man, dressed in black hoodie and wearing the Relentless title secured around his waist, slowly walks down to the ring as the fans watch in awe, as the lyrics of the Haka play over the harrowing sound of Troll fill the arena.
The Fijian steps off the ramp way and looks out into the fans, relishing the fear he's bringing to each and everyone one of them. He slowly makes his ascent up the ring steps.
Pierre Perroquet: Making ‘is way to ze ring, representing The Empire. From Fiji, weighing 285 pounds... he is G to ze A, and AWC Relentless champion... GABRIEL AFEAKI!
Gabriel Afeaki enters the ring, looks over at the ring announcer, the assigned referee of the match, and walks over to his corner, jumps onto the top turnbuckle and sits there patiently, waiting for his victim as the song slowly dies down and the lyrics finish... The music dies down as an acappela Haka war chant slowly finishes...
The Maori voice peters out as Afeaki sits on the turnbuckle waiting for the match to commence. He removes the Relentless title and places it on his lap.
Dave Kern: That is an evil man, ladies and gentlemen. He was dominant in the Jewel of the Sea Match and helped the East team defeat the West. Now he’s apart of David Harber’s Empire and the Relentless champion. Things can only become worse for everyone in AWC.
Jeff Marx: Gabriel Afeaki hasn’t been in AWC long, but he’s already making a name for himself. Pretty soon we’ll be calling him the Transatlantic champion.
Pierre Perroquet: His opponents...
The opening riff of “Superunknown” by Soundgarden overtakes the arena. At the opening crash of the cymbals, a flash of gold fireworks is followed instantaneously by the thundering report.
Out from the sparkling shower steps Darcy Crisis, with the fans jumping to their feet in delight. Darcy’s fist is raised high in the air, acknowledging the fans who enjoy the return of one of grunge rock's greatest hits. Darcy makes his way ringside as the opening lyrics pour in:
If this isn’t what you see,
It doesn’t make you blind…
If this doesn’t make you feel,
It doesn’t mean you’ve died…
Pierre Perroquet: Making ‘is way to ze ring, from Berkeley, Caleeforrrnia, weighing 227 pounds... AWC Frontier champion... DARCY CRISIS!
Darcy then hits the closest turnbuckle, pumping his chest and throwing his fist in the air one more time, doing his best to get the crowd behind him.
Dave Kern: Darcy Crisis and Anton Assault had an all-out war at Coast to Coast two weeks ago, and it is showing on the new Frontier champion. It goes to show that you can’t heal from a match against Anton Assault, no matter how long ago you faced him. Darcy Crisis is still sore from his match, but he’s one tough kid.
Jeff Marx: He won’t be tough after Gabriel Afeaki gets done with him. That man is a beast and Darcy will only get in his way.
Pierre Perroquet: Hand finally...
“Garbage Bag Johnny Will Win Zero 2 Hero” by Garbage Bag Johnny and Primus plays. There’s no exciting pyro or flashing lights for the new Transatlantic champion’s entrance, but there’s lots of smoke billowing from the entranceway. GBJ steps out from the curtain, trying to balance himself as he walks down to the ring, wearing his hilariously oversized TA title belt. This is what he gets for melting down the TA title crown and putting the access onto the title belt, the drugged-out hippie.
Pierre Perroquet: From Urbana, Illinois, weighing 219 pounds. ‘e is ze ‘ero of 2006 and AWC Transatlantic champion... GARBAGE BAG JOHNNY!
Dave Kern: Listen to these fans! They’re coming unglued for the new Transatlantic champion!
Jeff Marx: This is, by far, the biggest travesty that has ever been committed in AWC. GBJ screwed out King Dick and now he’s in PRIME suffering from his losses.
Dave Kern: Adam Dick can stay over in PRIME and be a jobber for all I care. Just as long he’s off my monitor I’m not gonna complain.
Garbage Bag Johnny rolls into the ring, gets up to his feet too fast and falls on his face. The fans cheer and laugh at GBJ’s embarrassing blunder. GBJ slowly gets to his feet, gives everyone the thumbs up, and the Portuguese crowd is going ballistic.
Jeff Marx: God, Garbage Bag Johnny is a damn dork.
Dave Kern: That’s Mr. Transatlantic champion Dork to you, Jeff.
Darcy Crisis and Garbage Bag Johnny remove their title belts and lock their eyes on the Relentless champion, Gabriel Afeaki. Crisis and GBJ turn to each other for a moment, strategizing about how to take GA out of the match, and have the match contested between the two of them. Afeaki remains seated on the top turnbuckle, keeping a close eye on his opponents. The Relentless champion decides to hop off the top turnbuckle, allowing both the TA and Frontier champions to bum rush the “Fijian Animal.” Their attempt to take the Fijian man down is an instant flop. Afeaki drills both men onto the canvas with a double Osato Gari, inflicting damage on their backs and backs of their head. The fans begin to jeer at GA but the Relentless champion doesn’t comply to the Portuguese fans’ hatred.
Gabriel Afeaki picks up Darcy Crisis, quickly grabs one arm and takes him down with an Ippon Seoi Nage, rolling on top of “D Masta C” afterwards, crushing all of his 285 pounds onto his opponent. Unbeknownst to the Relentless champion, Garbage Bag Johnny is on his feet, charging at the larger man. He launches himself into the air, delivers a Dropkick to the back of GA’s head, but the “Fijian Animal” doesn’t even budge. Gabriel slowly turns around to face GBJ. Without thinking, the TA champion throws a right hand at GA. The Relentless champion grabs GBJ’s arm, pulls GBJ forward by the arm, whips him around and delivers Harai Goshi.
Dave Kern: Gabriel Afeaki is dominating both Darcy Crisis and Garbage Bag Johnny with his Judo! There’s no way either Crisis or Johnny can survive.
Jeff Marx: You’re definitely right, Kern. Gabriel Afeaki is a monster in that ring, and he’s only warming up.
Darcy Crisis slowly gets to his feet, rubbing his back and head. He doesn’t see Gabriel Afeaki, the “Fijian Animal” explode at him with a shoot, going for a double-leg takedown. He mounts Darcy Crisis, throwing thunderous hammerfist strikes into Crisis’ face. Fortunately for the Frontier champion, GBJ gets to his feet, charges at GA from behind and takes Afeaki down with a Bulldog Headlock! The fans are on their feet, cheering for the TA champion.
Gabriel Afeaki is getting to his feet now, both Darcy Crisis and Garbage Bag Johnny look at each other, wondering what to do next. Without much thought, both men execute a Dropkick into GA’s temple. It doesn’t do much to the Fijian; only aggravating the man. “The Darcinator” gets Gabriel to his feet, kicks him in the gut and takes him down with a DDT. GA isn’t down for long; he springs to his feet and levels Crisis hard with an STO! “AWC’s Dirtiest Dude” flies at the Relentless champion, clings himself onto his back and goes for a Sleeper Hold. That attempt doesn’t last for long. Gabriel gropes for an arm, grasps it and throws GBJ over his shoulder. Instead of rolling on top of GBJ much like he did to “D to the C,” he turns GBJ onto his front, drops to one side and pulls back on GBJ’s arm with a Fujiwara Arm Bar!
Dave Kern: Fujiwara Arm Bar by Gabriel Afeaki! It looks like GBJ is about to tap out! Darcy Crisis in for the save!
Darcy Crisis saves the day, blasting Gabriel Afeaki in the side of the head with a Spinning Heel Kick. The Transatlantic champion is slow to get to his feet, rubbing at his shoulder as both men pick up the Relentless champion. They kick him in the gut, double Front Face Lock and then take him over with a Double Vertical Suplex. The fans are on their feet, chanting their names...
“DARCY! DARCY! DARCY! DARCY!
“GBJ! GBJ! GBJ! GBJ!
“DARCY! GBJ! DARCY! GBJ!”
Darcy Crisis kips up, same with Garbage Bag Johnny. They both give each other a high five. When Crisis turns his back on GBJ to go after Gabriel Afeaki, Johnny rolls up “The Darcinator” for the first pinfall of the night...
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
Kick out by Darcy Crisis!
Dave Kern: Garbage Bag Johnny just tried to pin Darcy Crisis! I thought those two were working together!
Jeff Marx: These two men are facing each other as well. There’s nothing on tonight’s Main Event stating that it’s a Handicap Match! If one of these three men want to win this match, someone needs to get pinned. And besides, I wouldn’t want to hang around in the ring with the Relentless champion for much longer!
Dave Kern: Valid point, Jeff! Let’s go back to the--- Oh my! Darcy Crisis just leveled the TA champion with a fierce right hand that would make Mike Tyson proud!
With the union between Darcy Crisis and Garbage Bag Johnny up in smoke, both combatants have now turned their attention onto one another. After that explosive right hand from DC, he picks up GBJ, kicks him in the gut and whips him into the ropes. After the rebound, he picks him up for a Dave Batista like Spine Buster! He grabs both legs, flips over and cradles GBJ with a bridged pin...
ONE!
TWO!
Garbage Bag Johnny kicks out. Gabriel Afeaki gets to his feet, charges at Darcy Crisis and unloads with a 285-pound Spear! The velocity of the maneuver literally sent DC from the center of the ring to over the top rope and onto the floor! He goes over to Johnny, grabbing a handful of hair and yanks him onto his feet. GA steps over to GBJ’s side, locks his arms around GBJ’s collarbone in a Marine Throttle fashion. He shakes him around a big, like a big man swinging a smaller man around like a ragdoll with a Bearhug. After scrambling GBJ’s brains - or what’s left of them - GA hops his hips and arches his back. At the apex of his suplex, however, he makes a 90-degree turn and slams GBJ on his back with a Soviet Judo Suplex (or Sambo Suplex, Uranage Suplex, what have you).
Dave Kern: Uranage Suplex by Gabriel Afeaki! I think he broke Johnny in half!
Gabriel Afeaki goes over to one of the sides of the ring as if to leave the ring to find a weapon. As he sticks his head in between the middle and top ropes, Darcy Crisis is there, with Garbage Bag Johnny’s oversized title belt. He clocks GA in the side of the head with it, busting the Fijian open. DC slides the title into the ring, rolls inside and picks up the Relentless champion. He palms the back of GA’s and sends him face first into the huge TA title belt! He rolls him over, goes for the lateral press and hooks the leg...
ONE!
Gabriel Afeaki powers out of the pin attempt.
Dave Kern: What power by the Relentless champion! He just pressed Darcy Crisis off as if he was a sack of potatoes, and Darcy Crisis isn’t that small!
Jeff Marx: Gabriel Afeaki is built to manhandle and overpower his opponent. Practically all Fijians have a similar build to GA’s
Gabriel Afeaki gets to his feet, about to go after Darcy Crisis, but Garbage Bag Johnny, the “Dirtiest Dude in AWC” and the Transatlantic champion sneaks up behind the Relentless champion, and performs a Gooch Rake! After the raking the man’s gooch, he rolls him up, grabbing a handful of tights and giving Gabi the world’s biggest wedgie!
ONE!
TWO!
Gabriel Afeaki kicks out with force. He’s on his feet first and runs Garbage Bag Johnny over with a Lariat that would make Stan Hansen proud! Darcy Crisis flies at Gabi with a Spinning Heel Kick, but the Fijian catches him in midair and throws him over his head with a Suplex! GA picks up GBJ by his hair, throws a massive knee into his gut and presses him over his head. He then throws GBJ down as hard as he can over the TA title belt. GBJ screams out in pain as the 30-pound title belt punctures his back. He rolls off the title to see that his back is bleeding profusely.
Dave Kern: My God! Johnny’s back is bleeding heavily! That title must’ve ripped some veins out of his back!
Jeff Marx: You might as well call him Broken Bloody Back Johnny from now on, Kern!
Dave Kern: At least you didn’t resort to a Broke Back Mountain joke, Jeff.
Gabriel Afeaki hears Darcy Crisis coming up from behind him. He wheels around to see DC swinging a chair at his head. Crisis blasts Afeaki over the head with the chair, breaking the seat over his head, and the seat flies out into the fans. GA is stand there staring at “The Darcinator” while wearing the chair around his neck like a makeshift necklace. Darcy cannot believe that the chair shot has no effects on the “Fijian Animal.” Finally the Fijian wobbles back and forth, then drops to one knee, and the Portuguese crowd is on their feet, chanting for the Frontier champion’s name...
“DARCY! DARCY! DARCY! DARCY!”
Darcy Crisis removes the steel chair from Gabriel Afeaki’s head, front face lock, jumps into the air, does a 180-degree swing and plants GA’s head onto the canvas with a Tornado DDT! The fans cheer as Crisis goes for the cover, hooking the leg...
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
NO! The Transatlantic champion breaks up the cover!
Dave Kern: Garbage Bag Johnny just broke up the pinfall! It’s obvious that he wants the win for himself!
Jeff Marx: Well duh! You’re in the match against two other competitors who are looking for the win! Of course you want to win the match!
Both the Frontier and Transatlantic champions are on their feet now. Garbage Bag Johnny attempts an Irish Whip, Darcy Crisis reverses and sends the “Dirtiest Dude in AWC” into the ropes. After rebound, GBJ launches himself into the air, going for a Hurricanrana. Unfortunately for GBJ, the Hurricanrana attempt doesn’t pan out to his favor. Darcy has GBJ in the air in a Power Bomb setup. He turns around and executes the Power Bomb, slamming GBJ’s body onto Gabriel Afeaki’s sternum! The fans explode when they witness, and Darcy goes for the pinfall, piling on both wrestlers!
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
NO! Gabriel Afeaki uses his monstrous strength to press both wrestlers off!
Dave Kern: OH MY GOD! That’s almost 450 pounds he pressed off! That’s amazing strength by Gabriel Afeaki!
Jeff Marx: No kidding, Kern! That man is superhuman!
Gabriel Afeaki gets to his feet, the laceration in the side of his head has quit bleeding, and he doesn’t look like a happy Fijian. Both Darcy Crisis and Garbage Bag Johnny are on their, about to do more battle until the Relentless champion goes for a shoot, taking both men down! GA is like a man possessed now, throwing heavy shots at both men: punches, kicks, stomps - whatever impact strike he can muster - and goes to town. Even though this match is contested under Relentless rules, referee Michael Ryan has to step in and break up the malicious assault. GA pushes the referee onto his ass, turns to go back to what he was going, and discovers both men are on their feet...
And both Garbage Bag Johnny and Darcy Crisis aim for the uprights and throw a field goal kick that would’ve been good for 75 yards!
Dave Kern: OOH! Gabriel Afeaki’s gonna feel that in the morning!
Jeff Marx: Those bastards busted his balls! LITERALLY~!
Gabriel Afeaki hops into hair after getting kicking the testicles - in stereo - and lands on his ass, clutching at his Fijian balls. Then without warning, Darcy Crisis almost takes Garbage Bag Johnny’s head off with a Super Kick! After GBJ drops onto his back like a ton of bricks, Darcy picks up the TA title, runs over to the ropes, jumps onto the middle, does a springboard, twists himself in midair and does a Title Drop onto GBJ’s face! The fans cheer as the Frontier champion goes for the pinfall...
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
NO! The TA champion gets the shoulder up! Now Garbage Bag Johnny is bleeding from the forehead!
Dave Kern: What a move by Darcy Crisis and it doesn’t put the Transatlantic champion!
Jeff Marx: And Gabe Afeaki’s testicles are probably ruptured! Those bastards!
Darcy Crisis gets to his feet, picks up Garbage Bag Johnny and whips him into the corner. With a head full of steam, he charges at GBJ and smashes him with a Running Clothesline! “D to the C” picks up GBJ and seats him on the top turnbuckle. The Frontier champion climbs up with “Dirtiest champion in AWC” (thought that would be a nice new nickname for GBJ! J-Bone Ed.), goes for a Front Face Lock, as if he’s going for a Superplex! Unbeknownst to DC or GBJ, Gabriel Afeaki is back on his feet, charges at both superstar and gets underneath “D Masta C.” He gets Darcy in a Power Bomb, picks up BOTH men, steps forward and does Release Power Bomb! Darcy lands on his back and GBJ eats a Tower of Terror Suplex! The fans are on their feet, amazed with GA’s strength
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
Dave Kern: Did you just see that?! OH MY GOD!
Jeff Marx: THAT WAS AWESOME!
Gabriel Afeaki goes for the cover, pinning Darcy Crisis and hooking the leg...
ONE!
TWO!
NO! Darcy Crisis gets the shoulder up!
Gabriel Afeaki gets to his feet, picks up Darcy Crisis by a hand full of hair and throws him over his shoulder... BY HIS HAIR~! Darcy bellows out in pain as the Relentless champion damn near rips his hair out of his scalp! He rushes over, takes one of Darcy’s knees, does a somersault roll and locks in a Sambo Knee Bar! Crisis is screaming in pain, trying to break free from the painful submission maneuver. Out of nowhere, Garbage Bag Johnny, the AWC Transatlantic champion flies at GA and drives his knee into the side of his bloody head, breaking up the Sambo Knee Bar. The fans are on their feet, cheering for the TA champion.
Garbage Bag Johnny helps Darcy Crisis up to his feet, talks to him about some sort of tandem maneuver and drops onto his hands and knees, instructing Darcy on what he should do. Gabriel Afeaki is getting to his feet after taking a flying knee into the side of his bloody head (the laceration is bleeding once more after the strike) and Darcy is trying to get th feeling back into his knee. He hobbles over to the ropes, bounces off them, uses GBJ as a springboard and hits GA with a Shining Wizard! The fans are on their feet, chanting for both men...
“DARCY! GBJ! DARCY! GBJ!”
Darcy Crisis, the Frontier champion, goes for the cover...
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
And Garbage Bag Johnny pulls Darcy Crisis off!
Dave Kern: There we go again: Garbage Bag Johnny breaking up another pinfall! First they team up and double team Gabriel Afeaki, and GBJ is breaking up every pinfall Darcy Crisis has made! I think GBJ has been smoking too much dope!
Jeff Marx: Probably, but not for those reasons you just mentioned. He wants to win this match to further his career and not worry about defending his title against anyone in the near future.
Before Darcy Crisis can get to his feet, Garbage Bag Johnny kicks the Frontier champion right in the head, keeping him on the canvas. He then runs over to the ropes, springboards off the top rope and catches an already standing Gabriel Afeaki with the Whirlwind Debris! He goes for the cover, hooking the leg and giving the Relentless champion another wedgie!
ONE!
TWO!
NO! Darcy Crisis breaks up the count by delivering a Dropkick into Garbage Bag Johnny’s head! Darcy grabs a handful of hair, kicks him in the gut, doubling him over and sets his head in between his legs. Before he can pick him up for a Power Bomb, Gabriel Afeaki is on his feet, locks in a half nelson, wraps his other arm around Darcy’s waist and lifts him over with a Tiger Suplex ’85! He bridges the maneuver for a pin...
ONE!
TWO!
THR---
Darcy Crisis kicks out! Garbage Bag Johnny is on his feet; Gabriel Afeaki is getting to a vertical base. He runs at GA jumps into the air and goes for a Dropkick, but GA swats him away like a bug. He immediately gets to his feet, grabs one of GBJ’s legs and locks in the Fijian Leg Lock!
Jeff Marx: There it is! That nasty Heel Hook! You better tap out, GBJ, or Afeaki’s gonna break your ankles!
Dave Kern: Darcy Crisis has the Darcinator on Gabriel Afeaki! He’s squeezing his legs around Afeaki’s neck!
Gabriel Afeaki relinquishes the Heel Hook and tries to break out of the Triangle Choke. Before Darcy Crisis can tighten his legs around GA’s neck, Garbage Bag Johnny flies at DC and clobbers him in the face with a Shining Wizard, knocking the Frontier champion out! GBJ is limping around the ring, picks up his title and blasts the Relentless champion in the face, lacerating the Fijian’s forehead! Afeaki drops to one knee, blood leaking out of his forehead and the TA champion hits Gabi in the face again, taking him down to the mat! He goes for the cover, hooking the leg...
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
“GBJ Will Win Zero 2 Hero” by GBJ and Primus begins to play on the PA system as Perroquet announces the winner...
Pierre Perroquet: Ze winner... GARBAGE BAG JOHNNY!
Dave Kern: What a Main Event, ladies and gentlemen! Garbage Bag Johnny bloodies and knocks out Gabriel Afeaki with his oversized TA title belt and picks up the victory! GBJ now has the first spot in GTT6, but can his winning ways continue throughout Primetime Central? We’re out of time! Remember to tune in next week for another edition of Fresh!. Goodnight everybody!
Jeff Marx: I can’t believe GA lost...